SuperCollider

Here's the good news; it sounds like you're old enough that it won't wreck you. My parents split when I was ten and that seems like the sweet spot for getting scrambled. (so read the following with that in mind) These things are almost always acrimonious & may drag on for awhile, but if your parents handle it well (kind of a big if, I know) they'll keep you out of that part as much as possible. As far as them getting married because of you, mine did the same & I figure anyone staying together over five years qualifies as a success, so you can take credit for that. Their relationship w/ one another really has nothing to do w/ the one they have with you, and you may have to do a little tuning out of the stuff that goes between them awhile. Megadeth and headphones may not solve anything but it's good enough because it's not your problem to solve.

I mean, 'Death' is right there in the name. I should hope I'd get my ass handed to me the first few times. Otherwise they'd call them 'Dewclaws' or something.