Talk to her after she goes to sleep, or when she's walking back to go to sleep and not hunting.. SHe will say "I have work to do at kinereths shirine!" (or something similar), and will allow you to initiate dialog about training.
edit the Oblivion.ini file and change bUseRefractionShader=1 to bUseRefractionShader=0. It has been working fine since. Just for future reference if anyone has this problem..