Deleted3611802User

As an artist in a different but related field of the entertainment industry, I'm going to derail the usual line of commentary here and address the other artists. This might not be the best place, but if it helps even one person it was time well spent. There's an old man sitting on his porch staring intently at the sky on a beautiful, clear day. Someone comes up and asks him, “What are you doing?” Him: “Waiting for lightning to strike.” Someone: “That requires a storm.” Him: “Yep. I'm waiting for that.” Someone: “There's no sign of one at all.” Him: “Yeah, but I got up and got myself all the way out here. I'm going to sit here until the lightning strikes.” Someone: “That could be awhile.” Him: “I know! I've been sitting here for weeks and it hasn't come. Mean ol' storm.” Someone: “Or you could, you know, get in a car and go find some storms.” I see a lot of people lamenting on spending so much of their resources building mods, posting it in one or two places, and then nothing happens. They get angry that the community isn't throwing money at them if the numbers are high. There's so much emotional energy spent on anger and resentment, victimization and bitterness, and almost no energy on actually chasing the dream. Making the thing is only half the work. Posting it somewhere is only a step. The rest of the work is talking about it. And talking about it. And talking and talking and talking until you're sick of hearing yourself talk about it, and then talking about it some more. It's about telling your friends, your family, your neighbors, your roommates, your Facebook groups, your book group, your underwater basket-weaving group. It's about making that Tumblr account and Instagram and Pintrest and Pinagram (yes, made that up) and all the -gram and -est and -book accounts to tell as many people as possible. It doesn't matter that they don't play Skyrim. It's about being proud of it, of owning your talent, and of getting 9 “no”s out of the way to get that 1 “yes,” until there's enough “yes”s to have a following. Talking is not bragging, and it's not immodest to tell people when they ask how you've been or what you've been up to. It's simply you. Who you are. It's about accepting the feedback from *meaningful* people, pursuing the refinement of talent, and building this up, brick by precious brick. It's about convincing other people that your stuff is valuable, not by simply putting it out on the table, but by being confident enough in yourself and your work to talk openly about it. The pursuit of a true artist—modders or otherwise—isn't a quick cash grab, it's a painstaking effort to build Rome over a lifetime. It's recognizing that this is a journey, not a destination. Now back to your regularly scheduled commentary. :)

I've deliberately stayed quiet through this whole thing, just watching history unfold. After reading this, I wanted to come out of lurk mode to say that I've found you to be extremely classy through all of the twists and turns thus far. It does suck that you had to drop a holiday 4 months in planning. As a fellow entrepreneur, I also get that you recognize that as part of the labor of love that is a business you've built for roughly half your life. This situation where people are skewing your views strongly reminds me of a case study of internet celebrity I saw on Youtube: titled "This is Phil Fish." If you haven't seen it already, I suspect you'll get a lot out of it. You didn't ask for or want this spotlight suddenly thrown on you, and yet as the owner of one of--if not THE--primary pillar of the Skyrim modding community, here you are. You are certainly handling it far better than most I see dealing with public fires like this. Good luck to you. Try to rest your eyes sometimes. :)

I, too, vote for the Random File button, or even a Random File that appears on the side somewhere while surfing around the Nexus.