nmilek Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Got this from my mate today thought it was damned good forgive me if you have seen it before. SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milkaway... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. WALL ST VENTURE CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters ofcredit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equityswap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows aretransferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned bythe majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to yourlisted company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with anoption on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the UnitedStates, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with therelease. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you wantthree cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow andproduce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon imagecalled 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milkthemselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATIONEveryone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade yourcountry.You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATIONYou have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 http://img19.picoodle.com/img/img19/3/4/2/dezdimona/f_cow4m_e2cbf7e.gif thanks for the moooo- ving post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bben46 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 At first I thought it was a joke. but after reading it all the way through, I'm not so sure.Brother, can you spare a cow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzirAphale001 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 I've heard it before, but it still makes be laugh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qwaxalot Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Nicely done. (and that's no bull) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monolithic0117 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Out of all those I approve of traditional capitalism. Viva Capitalism (and Wall Street Venture Capital)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orchidea Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 i lol'd :D:D:D SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michlo Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Nice one, thanks for sharing. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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