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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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<ooc being tha I am now thouroghly confused i am going to try my best>

Well he would do what any red-blooded whatever he is would do get tanked. Everyone know that you always come up with great ideas when your drunk. (For example: the time when Gab and Otto got drunk and launched bottle rocket sout of each others bums) So off Gabriel went to the nearest Pub to get him a tankard of the most potent alcoholic beverage known the ....................

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OOC> I must admit I am confused too... Where did Otto dissapear to?

 

The allready unfamous and very strong alcoholic drink of death! To bad for the Anti-Gabriel-Foundation, Gabriel was one of the those annoying main-characters that never seems to die, so the only thing that happened when gabriel swallowed the unfamous drink of death, was...

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Otto snatched it away and finished it himself. But it was unfamous because it had absolutely no effect on the drinkers (they really should have gone for the infamous version!). So Gabriel and Otto went on to schnapps, advocaat, gin, rum, whisky, vodka, brandy and Southern Comfort until they couldn't tell which month of the day it was or whose feet were whose.

 

Gabriel bent down to try to work out which of the seventy seven feet he could see were his. Awkwardly Otto did exactly the same thing at the same time. And their heads collided.

 

Waking up several days later in need of several facilities all at the same time, Gabriel grabbed the still comatose Otto by the arm and pulled him towards....

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the door to the room they were in. But since the room was still spinning he ended back in the same place he started.

After deciding he was getting nowhere, and he defiantly wanted to be somewhere, he started spinning in circles until the room stopped and ran to the door looking much like a ballerina. The next task at hand was to get the Volkswagen and go somewhere. Otto, regaining consciousness, realized they were already somewhere and decided they should celebrate with a drink. Gabriel noting that although this was somewhere, it was nowhere they wanted to be and off they went to ..........

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somewhere else. At this point he noticed that the door looking a lot like a ballerina must have been a ballerina for a girl in a pink tutu was sitting in the back seat doing various exercises.

 

"I saw you practising at the bar," she said with a faint Bronx twang. "I also practise at the bar a lot."

 

Gabriel noticed that her tututu was very pink - extremely pink. The kind of horrific - oh-my-god-this-will-make-me-so-blind-I-cannot-see-the-20-wheeled-artik-coming-towards-me - pink.

 

Fortunately Otto who was at the stage of drunkeness where you know everything and can do anything grabbed the wheel and zigzagged in and out of the oncoming traffic (on the wrong side of the road).

 

In an Alabama drawl he said in a calculatedly world-weary way. "Sure you practise at the bar, honey child. You are a dancer."

 

The ballerina smiled sweetly and said: "No I am a lawyer. And if you call me honey child again I'll sue the pants off you."

 

(She of course did not yet know that all the underwear in Sweden was dancing in the streets of Whoopsala and that Otto therefore had no pants.)

 

Gabriel still blinded by the colour of the tutututu ......

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Had no choice but to stop looking. So he stopped looking and realized he was now blind and this didn't really help their predicament.

So there this blind man, right, and he is driving a naked man and a bellerina down the highway. The naked man looks at the ballerina and says.....

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OOC> Owing to a language difference we may be getting confused here. In the UK 'pants' means 'underpants'. In the US 'pants' means 'trousers'. As I am English, what I said was that Otto is wearing trousers but no underpants; 'going commando' as the current slang has it.

 

"If you ain't a ballerina, how come you're wearing a tututututu?"

 

"I cannot discuss my briefs* with strangers", the girl replies, haughtily.

 

(OOC> *another UK term for underwear but also for instructions sent to a lawyer)

 

At this point the car, realising it is being driven by two people at the same time, throws a schizophrenic hissy fit and shears down the middle. Fortunately for the ballerina/lawyer doing the splits is nothing unusual and she ends up in the half being driven by Otto.

 

Gabriel's motorbike (well that's what it is effectively) is soon speeding across the surface of lake Vanern until the motorbike thinks to itself. "This is illogical," and sinks like a stone. Is Gabriel finally dead?

 

Mean while on Otto's motorbike...

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"If you ain't a ballerina, how come you're wearing a tututututu?"

 

"I cannot discuss my briefs* with strangers", the girl replies, haughtily.

 

(OOC> *another UK term for underwear but also for instructions sent to a lawyer)

 

At this point the car, realising it is being driven by two people at the same time, throws a schizophrenic hissy fit and shears down the middle. Fortunately for the ballerina/lawyer doing the splits is nothing unusual and she ends up in the half being driven by Otto.

 

Gabriel's motorbike (well that's what it is effectively) is soon speeding across the surface of lake Vanern until the motorbike thinks to itself. "This is illogical," and sinks like a stone. Is Gabriel finally dead?

 

Mean while on Otto's motorbike...

 

OOC> Ok, this was probably one of the best posts ever in this thread :happy: I couldn't stop laughing! ;D

 

The ballerina had a real problem preventing her skirt from flying upwards. The reason to why she even bothered with this was that Ottos head for some unkown reason allways turned towards her (and therefore away from the road ahead) when the skirt felt like it needed to fly a bit.

"Stop looking at me and consentrate on the driving will you?!" She said.

"Eh, what driving?" Otto replied, and...

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promptly collided with a lorry (truck) carrying honey causing it to spill its load all over the road.

 

So there was Otto with his honey.

 

"What has happened to Gabriel?" the girl in the tutututututu demands!

 

Well...

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