phawk69 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Elevator muzak. Ah, those soothing sounds of songs you know played on a piano and accordion. Who needs Atlantis? Zaphod mused, With muzak all your troubles seem to melt away. While humming tunelessly to an oboe rendition of Stairway to Heaven, Zaphods new second head spies a great deal on Milli Vanilli tapes and buys 1000 to give the Atlantis seekers. Lip synching is as good as Muzak in a pinch, you know. Appoaching the boat he .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted54170User Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 ...loads the tracks of Pink Floyd, Milli Vanilli, to his new music player. As he's walking pulling his rocking horse behind him, he realizes his rocking horses legs are attached to two skies, jumps on and pushes off, and joyously skids down the mountainside. Making tracks for a new stair way and a few banks, banking left and right down the slope. The Stairway to Heaven ends about halfway down and the mpg3 plays the good old tune, MMONEY, as he joyously waves at the yacthing people rocking and rolling on their boat.The hopping and hugging unofficial archaeologists hear the excitement and spy him with their emptied glasses. One hollers, "A rock slide is following him down the mountain!" While watching his horse sliding down the mountain with their emptied glasses the captain is overheard, "I'm getting closer to my home. Yeh yeah Yeaaha!"Then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karkarinus Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 ......Then, still emotionally traumatized by his recent discovery (2 posts ago) that Milli Vanilli had been lip-synching all along, he decided he had to get to grips with it - and, for that matter, with his ligneous equine quadruped as, looking behind him, he saw the ROCK slide accelerating ominously towards him. Billy Idol precipitated snarlingly down on him, Sniff 'n' the Tears managed a one-hit-wonder on the way down to certain anonymity, and - NOOoooooooo..................! The last thing he saw before blacking out was a hulking mass of Meatloaf hurtling towards him, singing "A Very Long Song Indeed (With an Even Longer Title, More Than Half of Which is in Brackets)".................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted54170User Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Zaphods body lurches and tumbles unconsciously into the sea, the shining sea, and the unofficial archaeologists scramble to their life boats to see if they can see what he was about before building up such a rough and tumble. As their boats touched the water... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malchik Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 there is the patter of little tiny raindrops and a right shower starts to fall on the right shower of unofficial archaeologists. "I'm singing in the rain" chortles the unofficial known as Jean O'Kelly. Sadly his tone is centred on the key of Nflat (where n is a random letter) and it is never a good idea to introduce the random into the pure logic of everything that has gone before because what happened next was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted54170User Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 they all beganning rowing since the Nflat caused the skiffs motor no end of trouble getting started. Jean O'Kelly tried the Nflat again and again. The little troaling motor just would not start. So, Jean changed to a/c sharp and starting the first chorus of Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. At which time Captain JT. Qwert took up the second chorus and stuttered when he stopped to raise his eye glass to see how far away they were from Zaphods last known space. Fortunately no one else noticed he was part of the rowing singing bunch at the oars and they all kept rowing to thier sequences. The rowing was going well as the tom tom of the drum called to the rythym of that jungle beat. Meanwhile: Zaphod was having a dream, as he bobbed up and down like a bouy. A dream that was really wet. He wasn't enjoying the cool chill from his unconscious wish to be with the girl in the sky with diamonds. It was his dream though and that was the best he could imagine for his rock star playmate until the hand of the Unofficial Archaeologist Pam Allen Derson from Norway touched his. He woke up as she yanked him off the water and dragged him on board her deck. The reigns of his rocking horse was rapped around his wrist causing him to be pulled back and forth from her several times until Capt. JT. Qwert grappled with her from behind and they both fell backward when the horse came on board. Zaphod was face to face with Pam Allen Derson and wanted to kiss her for saving his life. She being uncomfortble being sandwiched on top of Qwert and under Zaphod Pant. pant. pant. shifted her body to lurch out Phew! and Zaphod planted his lips on Qwert instead. No one was more embarrassed then Ms Derson when she realized she had lost her chance at getting the kids rocks off.She pondered his soaked clothes, and while they were rowing back to the ship she decided to marry him over and over when ever they docked in a new country. The news man on board was the first and last person to hear about it after the Capt. married them the first time. Since she kept her family name she became Mrs. Zaphod Pam Allen Derson-Elky Sumners Rocks. After the honeymoon that got the Unofficial Archaeological party all rockin' and rollin' all night long, again and again, nearly tiping the ship over, while fondling her new husband she nickname Rocks, asked why he never caused an avalanch before. He remembered what all the ruckuss was about before he learned how to strum his first, second wifes heart strings and... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phawk69 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 “Hey, where's my beer?” A big, beefy, bald, blighted beluga party crasher bellowed boisterously. “Before I break up this beautiful, barely bridged couple, I have a bunch of barley breakfast beverage to bereavedly bring up.” And with that, the bellicose bloke broke loose, and blew barley beverage bilge blindly back and forth on everyone present. Bagging the busty bride, he bailed into a bilge barge barging by, and began brightly braying boisterously. Zaphod scratched his first head, which wasn’t there yet, and tried to turn it to look at the unofficial archeologists when .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted54170User Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 The stone that had been crashing down the mountainside behind Zaphod (which was waiting for its queue) broke loose from the row of rolling oaks. Splashing into the water its mass sent a wave that rolled up and tipped the ship over. The Stone got the big shoe lace of the mysterious sock with the members of the Rolling Stones pictured all over it, mangled in Zaphods left shoe, and sank to the bottom of the deep blue sea. At the very same moment a stranger in a strange land heard a strange sound which was a tree falling, and wondered, "Why did David Bowie say The Rolling Stones were like the Mothering types of the Rock and Roll generation." Who havng heard that reported it to Mick and the band decided to beat feet to North American in October and hit the Grizzly Bears University on October 6. Due to some splashing news they changed the date to Octobr 4th to suckle their Queenless U. S. A. Fans. The huge stone tangled up in the lace of Zaphods left shoe rolled down deeper into the deep blue sea causing a tumultuous upward gusher sending the ship over the Spanish main to the south of France where... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phawk69 Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Everyone sang "We see England, we see France," and all those on the ground replied, "We don't care, we can see your underware." Which brought .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malchik Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 ... Zephyrus a severe attack of indigestion. He had eaten too many ninjas and the terrible raucous noises simply buggered his digestive processes. Now a wind god with wind is not something you'd want to face - or stand behind for that matter. The uncomfortable god decided to get his revenge on everybody by.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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