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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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Fed up with the pain, they took their fury out on each other.

They started with a toned down game of Rock/Paper/Scissors. Chuck won of course, because Chuck Norris beats Rock, Paper and Scissors. This lead to a fruitless arguement ending in a giant brawl. And then the same blade stabbed both of them through the heart again. This endless cycle of stabbing, removing the blade, rock/paper/scissors and senseless brawling went on many millenia, so let us turn our narrative gaze to the Forest of Lymphia, were the good elves were being overrun by evil goblins.........

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.......Eventually, the goblins over threw the elves' government. They tried to set up a new government, but were extremely hindered by fanatic elves who were all to eager to martyr themselves for their god. Also, an increasing anti-war bias in the goblin media made the goblin people begin to tire of war, by only reporting on the bad things. So the goblin leaders....
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...gave into their blood lust and began attacking the other passengers and the crew. The goblins took over the cruise ship and began raiding other ships. The navy came to stop them. They launched missiles at the cruise ship, and it sank, but not before the goblins boarded one of the aircraft carriers. The navy tried to defend themselves, but their guns were useless against the goblins' fur armour, and they fell under the goblins' shoddy axes. It only took 30 minutes before the goblins had complete control over the aircraft carrier, and they used it to sink the rest of the navy (goblins are surprisingly good pilots). They then decorated the carrier with the corpses of the dead navy and continued their raiding. Then...
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CAME THE SPACE PIRATES AAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

The poor goblins didn't stand a chance against the space pirates' laser cannons. The ship was sunk quickly while the pirates remained in orbit. The space pirates (who, contrary to popular belief, did not give a sh*t about gold and silver but only valued an extremely rare substance called demthyte that is not found on Earth) laughed at the drowning goblins. Then they blasted off towards Beta Centurion, hoping to intercept the Royal Treasureship from The Space Lobster and Crab United Army.................

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