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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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Searched the space station up and down until they found one. When this happened, they began to ponder exactly how this miniature giant space hamster was going to help them make it to Beta Centurion.........
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As it turns out, the map was actually a crayon drawing of an apple, and the mirror was so the hamster could look at itself and fix his fur. The Space Prates were about to give up on the hamster when it stood up on it's hind legs and began talking to them in a thick German accent. It told them how to fix their ship and which way it was to Beta Centurion. Then...
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....Bubba, the ship's obese pirate, bit it's head off. The hamster wasn't able to complete his instructions, but he did say something about taking a right at McDonald's, however, half the crew thought that he actually said left at Taco Bell so they began a mutiny and....
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The captain shot a man and everybody settled down. Captain James 'Jolly' Roger told his navigator to bring out the cybermap and plot a course for Beta Centurion. (why didn't he think about it before instead of listening to the stupid hamster?) This was completely unnecessary, because the Royal Treasureship from The Space Lobster and Crab United Army soon drifted into their view. The space pirates grabbed their plasma machine guns/laser swords/radioactive pistols and prepared to board the enemy vessel. When Captain James fired the first shot personally...........
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Began dashing about madly trying to find weapons with which to defend themselves.

The next shot, though, was fired by Jame's professional gunner, and he managed to take out the enemy's life support system. The pirates put on their space masks (the ones that alchemicaly/atomically converts all inhaled matter into oxygen) and boarded the enemy vessel. They plundered over 50 tonnes of demthyte from the ship and made it's crew into 4 months worth of crustacean suppers. The pirates decided to celebrate their good fortune by.........

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....killed the people behind the counter and pillaged the ice cream (pirates don't need to pay for anything). Then, King Leonidas and 300 zombified Spartans showed up and turned the front door of the ice cream parlor into the Hot Gates of Thermopylae. Leonidas yelled out, "Free ice cream? THIS IS DAIRY QUEEN!" So the pirates, not wanting to fight 300 Spartan zombies....
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