Psychiatrist

[Drakefell01]

Very true I have only been trolled once on the internet it was on nexus mods but I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I have used numerus online services including youtube witch is known for trolls and here look do I have any?: https://www.youtube.com/@Drakefell

I think it may be the crowds you hang around with, my personal opinion is to look for some better crowds of online players.

 

I have a personal question have you been trolled for cultural or religious reasons? 

Edited July 12 by Drakefell01

[Karna5]

That YouTube content is cool, Drakefell. I see I've watched a few of your films before and didn't even realize it

[Karna5]

Side note with regard to YouTube: While I use YouTube for a few unlisted films I use to pair with some threads in online game forums, I prefer to use Flickr because YouTube calls anything skimpy adult and doesn't allow any form of nudity, while in Flickr I don't have to flag skimpy as adult and can include moderate nudity if I wish.

In my Supporter section films I share on Nexus I always use Flickr. YouTube simply doesn't have the artistic freedom I like.

It's also why I almost exclusively stick to Supporter section in Nexus Mods. There's simply more artistic freedom there.

[Drakefell01]

6 minutes ago, Karna5 said:

Side note with regard to YouTube: While I use YouTube for a few unlisted films I use to pair with some threads in online game forums, I prefer to use Flickr because YouTube calls anything skimpy adult and doesn't allow any form of nudity, while in Flickr I don't have to flag skimpy as adult and can include moderate nudity if I wish.

In my Supporter section films I share on Nexus I always use Flickr. YouTube simply doesn't have the artistic freedom I like.

It's also why I almost exclusively stick to Supporter section in Nexus Mods. There's simply more artistic freedom there.

You're totally right everyone should have the right to their own choice of services like someone could hate netflix but love disney or reverse! 

[InDarkestNight]

Can someone answer me this: is it actually healthy to go without music? As I said, I've never been able to find music that I actually like. I've never quit a genre before that I still liked. I have transitioned between many throughout my life, but that's because I simply lost interest in them. Kpop and viking metal never lead me to something else that drew my interest. Kpop is designed to keep you hooked. When I was getting my programming degree, I was taking an ipod to class so I could listen to kpop in between classes (my first semester I had two classes in the same room that were just an hour apart). I did this because I just didn't feel right if I didn't listen to kpop before going to class. I was borderline dependent on it. Of course, in the end it was doing more harm than good, which is why I quit. I admit though even years later, I still can't help but look up news on the groups I used to listen to. Kpop is designed to get you emotionally attached to the bands. Its like its sunk its claws into me and I can't escape.

As for what music I like, I like grandiosity and positivity. I mainly got into viking metal due to my interest in mythology. Really though, I only got into folklore to 'fill the void in my soul'. I was raised Christian, spent a decade as an atheist, and now I'm a religious none. Honestly, kpop did more for me than viking metal ever did. In fact, I lost interest in it around 2015. Before that I noticed I was going for longer periods of time without listening to it at all. Near the end I was only looking it up every several months (about twice a year, seriously). So yeah, I honestly don't have any interest in viking metal at all. I've looked to everything from jpop to modern American pop (I'm in my late 30s to give you an idea), and to super obscure stuff like hyperpop, math rock, and dungeon synth. I even looked up funk once, though I admit that was mainly because I was just curious to see what that actually sounded like.

I've also read that what music you like is permanently encoded into your brain when you're young. After that, its unchangeable. Am I cursed forever then to only like evil power metal and revolting pop music?

What can I do? What could I listen to instead? I'm getting sick of having no form of stress relieve other than just playing Skyrim over and over again. I've actually gotten to the point I dread playing it I'm so sick of playing it every single day for a full decade! Fml... I have tied to get into other games, but as my posts about pinball have shown that's not going too well. Now I just made a new load order and decided on a character concept, but I still can't force myself to play this game one more time. Fml.

[Drakefell01]

Sounds to me you like Pagan music try looking in to that and finding other pagan groups music then you can create a playlist.

 

Strangely you are a lot like me I listened to dwarven metal then got into Pagan Celtic and Hellenistic music.

Edited July 13 by Drakefell01

[InDarkestNight]

The only thing I know of is Faun, and I'm sick of listening to them. Besides, I rarely listened to them in the past. I wasn't necessarily looking up 'pagan' stuff. I was looking into adventure music basically. Either way, as I said kpop appealed to me far more than metal ever did. I did end up abandoning metal long before I quit kpop just because I lost interest in it. Besides, Faun hasn't released anything decent since Midgard. Also, there's no other bands like them, at least not ones that have ties to the infamous viking-metal sub-culture. Even Faun's bent to demand and stuck to a viking thing FOR TWO ALBUMS IN A ROW NOW. Fml.

It was as easy as me looking up pagan stuff, I wouldn't be in this rut. Besides, I don't really feel save looking up such stuff with the way this country is going. Even when I was watching kpop, I occasionally felt that watching this could make me a target, because its obviously not being made by white people! Of course, I don't feel safe looking up seemingly anything online anymore. Been thinking that perhaps I should just stick to the music in Skyrim and some music mods. Of course, when I first quit kpop, I was playing with the music disabled because I couldn't stand to listen to any music at all BECAUSE IT MADE ME THINK OF KPOP. I even contemplated killing all the bards in the game just so I would never have to hear music in the game again. I've long since gotten over that, but that gives you an idea how tormented I am by this. It seems like I like no music that isn't evil and reprehensible. Doesn't help that worthless youtube keeps shoving k-pop into my face EVEN IF I'M LOOKING UP BLACK METAL WHILE NOT LOGGED IN WHAT THE CRAP.

I just can't seem to escape kpop or move on. Besides, honestly I was thinking of disconnecting from the internet forever, so its probably all moot anyway. Maybe I should start listening to the radio again or something.

[Karna5]

16 hours ago, InDarkestNight said:

is it actually healthy to go without music? As I said, I've never been able to find music that I actually like.

Very serious suggestion: get your hearing checked.

I suspected there was something wrong with my hearing for quite a while, but I wasn't sure because I seemed overall functional. And while a lot of popular music sounded terrible to me, I had a decent library of songs I still enjoyed.

A few months ago I got myself an appointment with an ENT/Audiologist combination (you need to be checked both by an audiologist doctor and an Ear Nose Throat). Their tests determined I was hearing impaired in the higher frequencies, particularly those most women use. So I got another appointment and picked out a good set of hearing aids, and they poured a mold in my ears so some could be constructed to fit properly for me.

They arrived yesterday. And it's life changing. I had no idea what I was missing.

Not only can I understand people when they speak to me now--heck, I had a phone conversation with my mom, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I could actually understand what she was saying to me. I could hear her. But audiobooks, which I listen to constantly every day, now have nuanced voice acting I didn't hear before.

And I went back and listened to my music library or my films I make to various songs, and WOW oh WOW oh WOW they're so beautiful now, and I simply didn't hear any of that before.

I don't know if you're deaf. But I do know you could be. And if you are, find out and get treatment.

It's worth trying, especially if you can't find any music you like. There could be a physical reason for it.

 

[Drakefell01]

5 hours ago, InDarkestNight said:

The only thing I know of is Faun

No way I like that band too!

 

Anyways try searching up Hellenistic, Celtic, Baltic, Germanic, Basque, Balkan, Slavic, Uralic, Sami, Astaro, Music (I just labeled every Pagan european religion I know of.)

 

I find I like greek dance music to even though I don't know what they are saying.

 

And Karna5 I my doctor told me my hearing is impeccable but I get it from my Dad and his Dad going back through my family many people say we have falcon hearing and my grandpa got quite bad with it as he got older and needed ear plugs for people to be in the same room with him. I also got a gift from my Mom and that's my precise colour vision (precise colour vision is a type of eye that can see the setrum of Colour very well meaning even the slightest change in hue is easily noticed by my eye and it has ben for making textures for my mods.) On another note I am quite cursed with allergies to boreal trees, metals, chemicals, and lots of medicine types, but I guess nobody has advantages without equal or more disadvantages. (Also I have a smaller eye socket on my... one side sorry I have dyslexia to so I can't tell you if its my left or right side but it hurts my eye during high pressure systems.)

Edited July 14 by Drakefell01

[InDarkestNight]

Sigh, my problem is I only like very specific types of music. I like epicness, and positivity. Metal has the former, kpop has the latter (or did anyway, its been 5 years now since I've heard a kpop song).

My main problem is now I care about the ethics behind the media I consume. I feel genuine guilt for giving money to a literal slave industry AND DRIVES ITS OWN 'EMPLOYEES' TO SUICIDE ON A REGULAR BASIS. As for metal, honestly I'm just afraid it may convert me to far-right thinking. I know kpop did encourage some right-wing beliefs in me, which I'm now sickened by. As for this pagan stuff, honestly I don't really feel right listening to the GOSPEL music of a religion that isn't mine. Who does that? Besides, nobody likes you consuming the media of a religion that isn't yours, especially when you clearly have no intent on converting (examples include all these atheists that read the bible like they would greek or norse mythology).

Of course, there is no music in the world that is 100% moral; the entire music industry is plagued by misogyny across the entire globe. Though I do find what you see in bollywood music and glam metal particularly off-putting because of it being disproportionately up front and center.

Also, I never cared much for folk music. Most the 'folk' bands I did listen to on freak occasions were dark ambient, which is technically an offshoot of black metal (though its not all too apparent, minus the fact that metalheads take an abnormal amount of interest in it despite branding all non-metal music as 'pop').

Like I said, I've just fallen down a rabbit hole of music I want nothing to do with anymore. I wouldn't know where else to look though. I have tried to look up what would be more typical music for someone my age, but all I've found is that you can't make generalizations about the musical tastes of any demographic besides the young.

I still want grandiose maximalist positive music. I don't want pagan stuff anymore, and I want nothing to do with the pop industry in ANY country. I do acknowledge that misogyny is impossible to escape, but honestly I would be willing to avoid that too if I could. There seems to be no music 'for me' anymore. I was a leftist when I was young, but for some reason I mainly listened to right-wing music when I got older. I used to like late 90s pop music when I was little, and NDH metal for a time. The latter is what lead me to finding out about European metal. And no, I don't like that anymore either; I'm honestly revolted I used to listen to bands that sing about the type of stuff they do. And I learned German originally so I could make sense of what they were saying (despite my abusive father constantly threatening to ban me from listening to that stuff if I did learn German, while simultaneously openly encouraging me to do so just so he would have an excuse). German is useless btw; it has no real presence outside of Germany, and even in their media the language is rare. If you know German, the only music it opens up to you is Faun and morally questionable metal acts. Of course, this is far better than most European languages; good luck finding anyone who sings in Norwegian or French that ISN'T an ephemeral pop act, or any language that isn't English. Even Sabaton only put ONE song in their native language on that album THAT WAS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THEIR OWN COUNTRY. Dimmu Borgir originally sang in their native Icelandic, but like virtually all such acts they sold out and switched to English purely because it made more money. Most European acts are actually catering primarily to American audiences, simply because there's far more potential customers here than in Europe. Besides, due to its association with white supremacy, metal has even less acceptance in Europe than it does here. In America, everyone assumes you're left-wing if you're a metalhead. In Europe, everyone assumes you're a Nazi. Also, I was never really a metalhead myself; I was just listening to fantasy music, the fact that most of it was metal was purely coincidence. Also, I later found that over half the bands I did use to listen were actually hard rock, not metal. Actually, very few were true metal; I had metalcore and even a few electronica acts on that playlist I've long since deleted.