Psychiatrist

[InDarkestNight]

Sigh, okay, I wasn't looking for recommendations, despite what everyone seems to be assuming. I've gotten countless recommendations, and nothing has caught my interest. I was trying to ask here how I can figure out what I want. I still like the tone of the music I used to be into, but I can't stand to listen to any of it anymore. Most people my age, from what I've heard, would have a rather lengthy collection of music going back decades. I do not; I don't have a damned thing. Well, I do own a fair bit of music, but its all stuff I don't care at all to listen to anymore. I haven't even turned on my ipad in YEARS now just because it has kpop on it, even though I did have a few games on it I was playing at the time. Also, honestly I may have been more willing to keep listening to kpop if itunes wasn't keeping track of how many times I listened to a song. I just couldn't help but feel like I was still giving money to those vile companies in some way. Besides, I owned no music videos, and I don't own a single kpop cd. I did buy a metallica cd recently, but I didn't listen to that long (I never cared for them, I'm just desperate to find SOMETHING).

[Karna5]

4 hours ago, InDarkestNight said:

My main problem is now I care about the ethics behind the media I consume.

This makes no sense. You're conflating distribution with music. I said this before, if you're old enough to drive, and if you live anywhere near a city, find a small venue, and start going to independent concerts. I don't know what the modern equivalent of punk or folk music is (two sides of the same coin), but music has nothing to do with producers.

If you don't like pop music, don't listen to pop music. Pop is related to producers, not music.

I have way over 18000 songs in my library which I've built up over the last 40 years, and I doubt even 200 of them are pop music, and those 200 are select songs across decades which I admire for their quality.

My favorite music artist is Edward Ka-Spel. Why? Because his music is not only a combination of beautiful or strange or evocative but ever one of his song's lyrics are sheer poetry. And Current 93, Death In June, etcetera I love not just for the sound but for the bleakness and humanity.

InDarkestNight, you are fundamentally mistaken in your understanding of what music is if you think pop is what music is. Pop is the tiniest fraction of what music in the world is.

[InDarkestNight]

This is starting to turn into an argument...

I wasn't talking about distribution. I was talking about the production of music. Kpop 'employees' are literal slaves to their companies. They have no rights, they can't even quit their own jobs. For a demonstration of the latter, this was confirmed when the ceo of a kpop company was imprisoned for a ponzi scheme or something. Everyone left the company, and the building was seized due to the ceo not making the payments on it. This one boy group they had tried to find another employer, but found they were barred from doing so due to them still being 'employed' by their original company. Keep in mind, there was literally nothing to this company. No employees other than this boy group, and all their physical assets such as their building and vehicles had been seized. On South Korean law, companies continue to exist as long as some physical asset remains under their possession. You want to know what they said this was? That boy group. They literally declared that yes, PEOPLE CAN CONSTITUTE CHATTEL. That boy group, whose name sadly escapes me now despite how much they were in the news, had to jump through quite a few hoops to get the right to quit their jobs. This was only allowed though due to their unusual situation. There was no one who had the right to fire them, but at the same time there was no one who could hire someone into such a position. They made it clear this was an exception made only for their unusual situation.

If this isn't bad enough, kpop idols (as Koreans like to like popstars and actors), are overworked and victim to relentless bullying online. One, Sulli, took her own life due to this. Before, Jonghyun took his own life, because he claimed he 'didn't want to be famous anymore'. This wasn't the last btw. There's also been incidents of IDOLS BEING FORCED INTO SEXUAL PRODUCTIONS AGAINST THEIR OWN WILL. The two most infamous cases being 4L and Stellar. Of course, kpop idols don't have the legal right to say no to anything, no matter what it is. Oh, and they don't own their own image either. SM actually claimed they owned everything relating to Tao, including his own name. Eventually, after years of legal battles that only got anywhere due to Tao's father being a multibillionaire, THEY WERE ABLE TO RECLAIM HIM AND FORCE HIM TO WORK UNDER HIM AGAIN. And yes, they were doing stupid crap like that all the time. What could they do with him with everyone knowing he was being forced to star in everything against his will? They were literally just fighting cases like this just to scare more people out of defecting. They're infamous for being the most heinous of kpop companies. Then there's the case of YG, which many people used to say was the only true entertainment company in Korea (literally the entire music industry is nothing but pop, but if you want to play anything else, you just have to remain unsigned). Of course, it came out one day that in reality, YG was just a front THAT WAS BRIBING THE AUTHORITIES TO IGNORE ALL THEIR CRIMES. The government actually forcibly disbanded an entire police department, and raided their office of that company. Yeah, you can't trust anyone. Oh, and YG is the company that Blackpink, one of the biggest acts right now, is enslaved to.

Oh, and if that isn't sickening enough, then there's also the infamous plastic surgery thing. Keep in mind, IDOLS CAN'T SAY NO. I'll just leave it at that.

I knew about this for years and years, but I kept coming back to kpop over and over again anyway. The only time I stopped watching it was when I found out about the plastic surgery thing, but that only lasted 3 days. I actually kept a playlist of YG videos for the longest time, which I would watch whenever some other company had been caught doing something they shouldn't. I deleted that playlist after the truth of YG came out since obviously it no longer served any purpose. After Goo Hara's death, I finally decided 'f*#@ this'. I never watched kpop again. I just couldn't stomach it anymore. Keep in mind, I hadn't watched any kpop at all in a month, due to Sulli's suicide a month earlier.

Maybe now you understand why I refuse to listen to Kpop? Its an evil cruel industry that drives people to kill themselves just for freedom. I wanted nothing more to do with it. I still feel guilty buying kpop songs and giving clicks to their videos, even if it was just pennies. I was knowingly endorsing slavery, and I kept doing it anyway just because the music made me happy. The relentless nightmare stories coming out virtually every day obviously didn't help either. Really, it was doing me more harm than good.

This is why I'm obsessed with the ethics of the music I listen to. As for the Viking metal thing, for the first time I simply decided to think about what the songs were saying. When I asked why so many of them expressed right-wing stuff, I was told that it evolved out of this infamous white supremacist metal genre from the late 80s that resulted in multiple murders and historic structures being burnt to the ground. Even today, the genre is still defined by white supremacy, even if they don't bluntly state it to avoid stigma. You want to know why the genre is so diverse? Its because ITS NOT DEFINED BY SOUND AT ALL, INSTEAD ITS DEFINED BY THE RACE OF THE MEMBERS. Any band with all scandinavian members is a viking metal band, regardless of what they make. There's one that even gets away with making nu-metal, the most taboo of all genres to metalheads (they hate it even more than they do pop music). Yet, bands with even one non-Scandinavian member have to constantly defend themselves. There's even one band from South America which has to constantly harp on how all the members ARE of Scandinavian descent just to get acceptance. This is all why I quit that too; I just couldn't stand it anymore knowing what it actually was. Besides, I was afraid it may corrupt me. As I said, listening to kpop did instill some right-wing ideas into me.

Sorry for the rant. I listened to kpop for 7 whopping years. It was a long journey. What is happening to me now is due to the long journey I've been through.

Also, if I did listen to everrything I have ever liked, it would be all that stupid synthpop from the late 90s (part of my interest in kpop was that it reminded me a lot of the music of my youth), highly questionable shock acts that I now find revolting (just about all of them have a member siting in a jail cell right now to give you an idea), white supremacist metal, and of course a pop genre that's a literal slave industry. What kind of person listens to all of that?

My interest in music has obviously changed significantly as I've aged. I've lost interest in just about every genre I've ever been into, and all for good reasons. What, am I supposed to go back to the dead 90s pop genre that was never very good? Should I listen to these abominable shock acts that now make me sick to my stomach? Should I listen to white supremacist music? Should I once again endorse a slave industry even though doing so was making me VERY unhappy?

This is the problem I'm having. I just don't know where to go next. What should I be into now? I have no clue. As for my own 'back catalogue', I had over 500 kpop songs alone. Yeah, its a really big genre. Now, its all dead to me. I still wish that industry would die and all those people would be freed, but that's clearly not happening. Funny enough, when I first decided to become a kpop fan back in 2012, I was expecting it all to come crashing down one day like the 90s pop I used to like, but I decided I would enjoy the ride just one more time anyway. Now, I'm actually saddened that didn't happen. Of course, the main reason 90s synth pop died was due to 9/11. Nobody was interested in happy media anymore, and even today America still refuses to get over 9/11. Haven't we grieved enough yet? Seriously?

[Drakefell01]

Honestly do what is right to you and what you feel makes you happy.

[Drakefell01]

Have you tried meditation practices? 

Sometimes they help people cope with stress and improve thinking.

This might help you find the music you are looking for.

[Drakefell01]

InDarkestNight, I have questions for you:

 

Do you feel happy in the area/country you live in?

Do you feel depressed in any way related to the internet?

How do you feel about music and what ones (In more detail) Interest you?

Is there a particular biome you would like/love to live in?

What kinds of things do you say before getting trolled?

Do you like your neighbors?

Do you get along with other people in your area/country?

[InDarkestNight]

Honestly, no I don't. The entire country is a sinking ship and has been for years and years now (America is NOT the fairytale land all Europeans seem to be hopelessly convinced it is). Recent politics isn't helping things. Also, I'm actually scared to look up just about anything on the internet out of fear it'll make me a target. When I took a world religions course some years ago, I was actually reluctant to watch a video on youtube about Islam, purely because I was afraid doing that could put me on a watch list. Of course, I definitely am now either way due to me criticizing the president online. Seriously. What a lovely nation. As for my town, its dominated by openly far-right people. It really makes me scared for my own safety.

As for how the internet makes me feel, honestly it seems to only make me feel frustrated and scared. I hate not being able to find the info I want, I hate disinformation, and then there's the self-censorship thing I engage in despite NOT being an extremist in any form.

I've already stated my interest in music multiple times. I like maximimalism and positivity. That's rare of course, especially since Americans haven't been interested in the former since glam metal in the 80s, and the latter not since 9/11.

I would like to live in a cooler climate.

As for what I say, seemingly anything. I've been told by other people I'm mainly being targeted for simply speaking my mind. I was made a target on steam due to me refuting far-right s#*!. I seriously got an infraction on the steam board for claiming that the Earth is round. Seriously. I've also been called a conspiracy theorist for simply mentioning the damage Bethesda is doing to the modding community through their stupid 'updates'.

I don't have much interaction with my neighbors, outside of one. The only neighbor I really have any issue with this one hot-head next door that nobody likes.

As for the rest of my country, I don't really know. Since the 2000s I've actually preferred to talk to Europeans. Funny enough, I really have no cultural ties to my local area. I was raised overly sheltered by parents who were both from out of town (one was even from out of state). I used to have people constantly asking me if I was from another country because I don't even sound like the locals. I've been told I sound and talk more like a Brit than an American, despite living in America my whole life and having no British heritage. That's probably from all the European media I consume.

I admit, I would leave this country if I could, but I simply could not afford it. Besides, all of Europe has this bullshit 'merit' system WHERE YOU CAN'T MOVE THERE UNLESS YOU'RE OF SOME PRACTICAL USE TO THE STATE. Nothing I can do is in high demand, so I would definitely be barred anyway (well, outside of Iceland, but I've never been interested in their culture and I am not interested in working in either fishing or tourism anyway). Now a days I'm actually wishing I did long ago, given what's happened since then. Too late now, and I was just as powerless to leave then as I am now. Well, minus the fact that I'm sort of a care-giver now.

Of course, I do fully realize not all nations are perfect, and moving wouldn't solve all my problems, but let's be real, America is a scary place now. The recent incident with Trump has people fretting about the ramifications. In general there's been growing concerns with the 'normalization of violence' in this country. Just a year or two ago, some people who were plotting to abduct some politician were declared innocent. The funny thing is; THE ENTIRE JURY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT THEY DID IT. They declared them innocent because over half of them believed that they were in the right. Yeah, lovely times we live in. People are talking more and more about a civil war breaking out, and here I am a person who honestly doesn't like either Trump or Biden, and I live in a far-right town too! Fun times. Its actually the biggest reason why I've been thinking of disconnecting from the internet; I just don't feel safe anyone knowing anything private about me anymore. I'm even afraid to access this site at times due to the more adult mods it has (I live in one of those states that's trying to outlaw porn). And now there's the '2025 project'. What a wonderful nation I live in...

Edited July 14 by InDarkestNight

[Drakefell01]

On 7/14/2024 at 5:25 PM, InDarkestNight said:

all Europeans seem to be hopelessly convinced it is

Actually that hasn't been true for about 10 years now, many europeans hate people from both canada and the us.

 

On 7/14/2024 at 5:25 PM, InDarkestNight said:

I simply could not afford it

Thats funny same thing with me although I want to move to my heritage place in spain.

 

As well with me I prefer to talk to Europeans or people who dream to become Europeans.

 

I have been saving money so I can move out of my parents house and go right to Murcia spain but housing is not cheap I'm looking at about 150 000 canadian dollar for a small 1 bedroom house in Murcia.

 

Questions:

 

Do you feel like you have no interest in getting a relationship in your country? (examples: the people aren't attractive, the people are rude.)

Do you feel your country is not as careful with your health? (example: toxic preservatives and metals in food products)

Edited July 16 by Drakefell01

[Drakefell01]

Which one of these matches you?

I might be able to find the place or several if multiple are close matches for your heritage. 

[Drakefell01]

How has your day been any issues like trolling?