the inferno 2 (still working on a name)

[reaper13]

this will be the start of book 2 (i hope) i'm thinking of doing it from shade's point of view. (yes i need feedback on that) please post what you think!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Shade's point of view

 

I could still smell the fire. The training camp will be burning for a long time. As the last of the bombs went off i smiled, that's the fifth place we hit in 10 days. this was our 16 deployment to the middle east As wildfire and i ran from the camp i could only wonder, “did we use enough explosives?” one final blast answered my question. Wildfire's cursing interrupted my thoughts. I can't blame him. One of the terrorist we were fighting managed to fire an RPG at him. It went off close to him and threw him in the air. Thanks to the shrapnel, being blown off the building and the landing his left arm is crippled. He won't be able to use if for quite some time. After an hour of walking we found a small town. We decided to rest on an abandon house. After we barricaded the ground floor doors we went to the top floor. It seems that the owners had moved. There was nothing in any of the rooms. Wildfire sat down against a wall and closed his eyes. “you know you'll need at least 4 hours to heal, right?”

 

“.....”

 

“so, why do you do that?”

 

“do what?”

 

“every time someone gets behind me you drop what your doing and help me. And as a result you get shot in the back!”

 

“I-”

 

“i know you love me and i love you too but i can handle myself. You trained me yourself.”

 

“but-”

 

“trust me, I'll be fine”

 

“i just don't want to lose you again.”

 

“ that won't happen.”

 

“i have something to give to you”

 

“what?” he pulled out a small box just a inch or so in size. The kind of box you would see in a jewelery store. He opened it and inside was a diamond ring. Not a gold ring with a diamond in it but a ring of pure diamond. “are you asking-”

 

he opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by a burst of gunfire. They found us! I could hear them trying to knock down the door below us. Wildfire drew one of the heartbreakers and pulled the slide back with his mouth. I uncoiled my favorite new weapon, a razor wire whip. We took our spots on ether side of the door.

 

“twenty bucks says i kill more then you”

 

“your on, shade” he said as the door was kicked down.

 

part 2 coming....

[dezdimona]

nice story

[Herculine]

More descriptive narrative and less choppy dialogue would really make this come alive to the readers. You're off to a good start.

[alex2avs]

cool it's not enough to say...looking for the next part :)

Keep up the good work ;)