Funny Oblivion Incidents

[FritzDerochebrune]

Also something else to try i just thought of. *SPOILER WARNING* before even going to find Martin what happens if you just walk up to Cloud Ruler Temple? Do they attack or are the gates just locked?

 

The gates just stay locked. The first time I went up there, I didn't know what it was. I was looking for a secret entrance somewhere near the mountain, thinking you could gain acces to the temple through that. Later I noticed the castle was part of the MQ, and there is no secret entrance :blush:

 

Today I went to cloud ruler before looking for martin again (I always do that, so I can fast travel to there with martin immediatly) and found the gates open. I walked to the door to the inside, but those remained closed. There were some blades patrolling the area, but they didn't do anything. Even when I spoke to them, they just greeted me.

 

I quickly found the source of the open doors: Blades Captain Steffan. When I looked at him, I saw his health was only 50%. I didn't find any bodies, so the only reasonable explenation is that the captain fell of the wall o_O, but because he is set essential, he didn't die. As soon as he woke up, he entered cloud ruler again, but left the door open. And those guys protected the emporer... no wonder they failed :P

[xerob95]

ahaaahahah yesterday it happend some very funny thing i was very tired and i thought i was writing in the console

but then sudenly i lunched a fireball at an innkeeper (now it starts!)

he fell to the ground and guard come he walked to the corpse and dident notice me i ran out of the city steald a horse and run out in the wilderness!

 

when riding on the road some legion soldiers come they they draw there swords i thoght there was going to kill me

they apoched and walked past me i look behind me and theres an wolf they killed it.

some hours later (game time) i desided to fish when i swimed down the water i sudenly see tooth in sea

he cracked a smile and i freaked of turned around walked up on the beech and Splash a guard toke me out!

ahahaha now that was an experiens i neevaa forgett!

[Laesil]

Really, this thread awesome! I mean, where else can you hear about a crazy Imperial archer who randomly runs around killing everything, from deer to Quest Targets? I shall name him Robin Hood!

 

Here's my stories to add to the mix of craziness that people have witnessed:

 

One time, I was in the Skingrad Mage's Guild, just walkin' around on the first floor. Well, you know the Argonian guy there? Well, for one, I'm known to randomly save, then kill everyone in a certain area, like everyone but the immortals in Skingrad. This time I had mapped out just the Mage's Guild Member's, besides the leader, who is an immortal. Heh, as soon as I sneak attack the Argonian lizard guy and kill him, he falls and is caught in the door, so he starts twiching all over his body. As I'm laughing at this strange occurance, another of the guys runs into the room and I kill him also. And guess where he falls? Right in front of the open door, getting caught in the door like the poor Argonian BEHIND him. Well, with both of them twiching on the floor, extremely near each other, it looked kinda odd to me. I must have laughed at the brokeback affairs of the two AI controlled NPCs for nearly 10 minutes, and upon remembering that hilarious moment, still laugh about it.

 

I'm sure everyone has talked to that eccentric dark elf lady in Skingrad who askes about the bounty for Necrophilia in Cyrodiil. The fact that SHE 'hypothetically' askes about the bounty for a SECOND offence cracks me up, added onto the fact that she says that "Thats not bad compared to Morrowind". God, the antics of the people of Cyrodiil!

 

The people by the Alter to Sanguine are quite funny when you talk to them about what the have been doing there. ("Just making love, and partying" - What the old bald guy said) That I mistaked All three of the people there for guys the first time I looked and heard what he said really made me laugh.

 

There are really hundreds of things I've seen happen in this game that makes me chuckle, but another of the really good times was listen to what the Blademaster in the Arena says to you sometimes! Such as: Anytime he laughs, its just such a funny sounding laugh that I break out in tears everytime I hear him laugh. For such a tough guy, he laughs like a little girl! Another time: After you've advenced a few ranks and ask for a match after the Arena closes: "I know, I wish the Arena was open too, but the Yellow Team needs their beauty sleep!" Or something like that.

[leetgamer]

ahaaahahah yesterday it happend some very funny thing i was very tired and i thought i was writing in the console

but then sudenly i lunched a fireball at an innkeeper (now it starts!)

he fell to the ground and guard come he walked to the corpse and dident notice me i ran out of the city steald a horse and run out in the wilderness!

 

when riding on the road some legion soldiers come they they draw there swords i thoght there was going to kill me

they apoched and walked past me i look behind me and theres an wolf they killed it.

some hours later (game time) i desided to fish when i swimed down the water i sudenly see tooth in sea

he cracked a smile and i freaked of turned around walked up on the beech and Splash a guard toke me out!

ahahaha now that was an experiens i neevaa forgett!

 

You bumped the thread.

 

Imperial Guards were chasing me everywhere, I didn't really know what happened, but they jumped veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery high up in the sky, I could only see dots, and they came really fast down, crashed and died

[Sojiro]

Yesterday I was playing around, doing random stuff and finding out for the first time what a Demoralize enchantment does. I've never used it before.

 

Anyway, I struck a guard in Leyawin with the demoralize enchanted sword and he starts running around screaming "Help! Please don't hurt me! Run!"

 

He runs out of the castle and unto the nearest street, making a straight shot for the nearest gate. I decide to give chase and just swing my sword randomly.

 

He reaches the gate (with me in pursuit) and finds his way blocked by two bow-wielding guards. The dude spins around and starts running in my direction screaming "Please don't hurt--ARGH!" *bloodsplatter*

 

I find a silver arrow sticking out the back of his head. The guard at the gate puts away his bow and turns to the other guard.

 

"Hello."

[Besugo]

Ok, here are amy stories of awesomeness. They stray far from the other stories of imperial foresters ritualistically slaughtering eachother (although that is funny).

 

Alright, so I'm wandering around looking for Ayleid ruins to sack for statues, stones, and fat loot when I come across Vindasel (fun fact: prior to Ayleid destruction this was a 'fun house' for torturing slaves. It was known as the "Wailing Wheels"). Wandering through it's depths I am dissapointed to find only mud crabs and rats, but continue to delve deeper. At the end I see a woman standing at the bottom donned in ebony armor. This would be normal if I wasn't lv7. Being the little *censored* I am, I sneak up behind her, sword drawn, only to realise that this is UMBRA! UMBRA, for christ's sake! Easy for me :D.

 

I then poison my sword with my strongest damage health poison and proceed to slash across her back.

 

"UMBRA MUST FEED!!!"

 

In a whirlwind of screaming, jumping, slashing, and running I manage to escape alive. Down the road I see a countess being escorted by a guard. Hoping that these people will help me I talk to the guard. Too bad I was charged for assault by attacking an evil wench. :blink:

 

So, I pay the fine and return to IC. Just as I was planning on returning to try a new strategy, I hear a phrase that makes me jump.

 

"THE BLADE, IT HUNGERS FOR SOULS!!!"

 

It turns out that Umbra, even Umbra, can be arrested, as she was standing right there beside me with Umbra drawn.

 

My other story is much shorter but much more epic.

 

Outside of skingrad, I am in Desolate mine. Just causually clearing it out, I reach a room with a pit, a stone outcrop bridging it.

 

Oh, what do you know. Across the bridge I see around 11 goblin skirmishers, 2 berserkers, 1 normie and a warcheif. Launching an arrow and drawing my sword i stand on the bridge, fending off a stream of angry goblins charging at me. Some I knocked off the bridge to their doom, and others put up a damn crazy fight. It turns out that I was in a goblin clanbase. :whistling:

[LoginToDownload]

After starting a new file, I headed to Bravil. City Swimmer was alternating between sneaking about and chatting with guards. I headed to the Mage's Guild, joined up, and embarked on the reccommendation quest. Upon leaving the Guildhouse, City-Swimmer was being chased by an angry guard. Surely you've all been in the situation, running away from a faster foe who still can't hit you because he has to slow down to swing? It was like that, except with more erratic turns, and you're watching instead of suffering. (I would later learn that she stole a watermelon, making the picture of her fleeing like that even more amusing to me) After perhaps twenty seconds of amused watching, a second guard starts firing arrows at her. She seems to be doing okay, so I go to The Archer's Paradox for a while.

I seem to recall Varon Vamori being at an inn, so I head to Silverhome to find everyone shouting at the top of their lungs. City-Swimmer is in the back of the room. The two guards barge in and open fire. They do eventually kill City-Swimmer ( :( ), but before that they manage to catch a few folk in the crossfire. Namely, Ranaline the Mythic Dawn agent, Jee-Tah of the Blackwood Company, (both of them died) and my unscrupulous self once when I tried to block their line of fire to one of my (Even moreso now) favorite characters. Oddly, no-one objected to these extra kills. Perhaps the guards weren't the only ones with an instinct for harming nasty folk?

[headsss]

One time mah dad and I were working on a sort fo difficult quest together, and we had to go in some Ayelid ruins. Were some rats down there and one got stuck in a pillar and couldn't get out... Could only see the bloak's tail. ;D

[Glue]

Ok, a short one.

I don't know whether this was buggy AI or the Porky Grim Reaper but a few days ago I had a boar i was sneaking up on die of natural causes before I could get to the swine.

He was standing there in the road one minute with me all poised etc.. creeping up behind him and just as i was about to clobber him he fell over sideways, stone dead, and i was left standing there thinking i'd given him a heart attack somehow.

Never happened before. Hope it happens again though. I'm BAAAD!!!

[Madgod Fanboi]

I shoved the cupboards in a rather popular restaurant in the Imperial city with poisin apples. Then I put them on all of the tables and..... Well...... ^_^

 

I love doing that in guard quarters, too. Really, anywhere where there are lots of people eating.