Funny Oblivion Incidents

[Tpma4life]

Well here's one. One time, I was on the quest where you had to kill pirates. I was walking through one of the cities (I forget which one), and all of a sudden, I see two guards killing like EVERY civilian that was nearby. Needless to say, I was intrigued..so I waited. Turns out, ONE of them was the people who transform into a red cloak, and had hit a civilian..who TRIED punching him, but missed, and hit someone else..causing a huge fight, which the guards thought they had to put EVERYONE down.

[Wookiee]

I was watching my flatmate play last night and he was following some quest called the hunt or somthing... basicly there are a bunch of ppl on an island killing one another. anyway he saw an npc who had been caught and imprisond there and realised it was a trap just as the npc saw him and at the same time my flat mate and the npc both said "oh no"and I just wet myself laughing it couldent of been better if he had planned it.

[odark]

A series of events that took place in one game day that to this day blow my mind that they even occurred at all.

 

::SPOILER ALERT DARKBROTHERHOOD::

I set out on my ninja character to completely eradicate all of the Dark brotherhood quests in one night. I finally got to the one where I was ordered to kill that fleecing dark elf in the Imperial Prison at the start of the game. You know the one, the BS'er, well they simply said to go in and kill this fool. They didn't say, YOU KILL THIS FOOL, not at least to my memory.

 

So I got to thinking, I'm about level 10, what's stopping me from using this frenzy scroll through the door on him. Side note, I ran out of picks just before this so unless I wanted to lean on my remarkably low marksman skill this was my only real options. Aside from pickpocketing a guard!

 

So I ready my invisibility potion, I frenzy him and go invisible and slowly back away. Taunting him in real life as if I were standing there. "Who is going to die now dark elf? You hear that, they are coming for you!" Just as I said that the watch comes around the corner opens the gate, and I swear that for a moment they stared at each other. The way a hungry lion stares at her prey before pouncing, just as if to let the prey know it's already dead. Then the guard yells, "REMEMBER THE EMPORER!" and stabs the elf once and he drops like a sack of potatoes. I thought I was out of the clear, heh I wasn't...

 

I decided to wait for a couple hours in a dark cell as to get rid of possibility of them hanging around and finding me. I go to wait and it tells me I can't wait with enemies around. I get to looking everywhere, I even went back into the main sewers were you start in the game. Nothing, then I get to the sewer exit, my computer lags...

 

See I have a nasty habit, I hate the undead, and instead of wearing down my weapons I sometimes just turn them. Well, who'da thought they all show up in the sewers they all came for me. When I say all I don't mean 3 or 4... I had before me 10 to 15 completely oblivious undead searching for me to beset their revenge. It was at this time, for no known reason an Orc adventurer came in the entrance I was slowly snaking my way to undetected.

 

He whips out his torch, lights up the room and I look to my horror the sneak eye went solid gold. He yelps "TO ARMS!" pulls out his mace and runs right out the door, leaving me in the middle of a room of now totally aware undead. I decided then my revenge needed to be swift, so I jump into my menu and slop up a crappy invisibility potion, my luck I had the comps...

 

I use this to lose the undead, but then I ready my scroll of command human, this orc was going to eat his own words. I cracked my knuckles as the loading screen babbles off random information that I stare right past in my determination to ruin this orc. I was no longer concerned with the bonuses to this quest, I wanted this undead situation to end. This wasn't the first time I had an undead army visit me.

 

I come out and find him fighting one or two of them, as he finishes them off my invisibility wears off and I zap him with command human and walk him right back inside. I use a chameleon to disappear once inside, just in time to watch the orc finally back his talk up with some action. He was able to take down most of the undead before they sent his body flying across the screen.

 

During this I sat and contemplated all that happened and realized this was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me while playing this game. That was until my adoring fan showed up only to say "BY AZURA AZURA... FIGHT FI-...!" He lead the rest of them outside and died in his escape, really ruined my plans of paralyzing him on the top of jerall mountains and lighting him on fire with a spell I made 1pt for 30s "Human Torch" fire damage.

 

Well I thought I was out of the clear enough to go back in town and sell some loot before I headed back to DB Central for my reward. On the way up I found the Imperial Guard all over the place with skeleton pieces all over the hill leading to the prison. Which lead me to believe that those skeletons went through town to find me, I found parts on the bridge, I found parts right by the door.

 

But through all of this, I didn't get my bonus, because in all that zombie and skeleton bashing I guess I got flagged as spotted by the guards. I just got the usual payment, so I loaded from a save hoping to relive it and the undead never came again. Sad, for a moment there, me and my assassin were one. I'm sure it'll happen again, to this day I still use turn undead lol.

[Wookiee]

two new ones just happend sneeking around the blind moth priests i knocked somthing over and he said "I gotta lay off the mead im starting to see things" and a gard whent burko and killed the population of the market districkt becouse of a missunderstanding. then when i walked passed him he said "looks like someone has been up to no good" or somthing of that ilk.

[Povuholo]

two new ones just happend sneeking around the blind moth priests i knocked somthing over and he said "I gotta lay off the mead im starting to see things"

 

If that was true he should drink some more :D

[BioEthereal]

My Goodness that is one of the best laughs in AGES for me!

 

i don't know whether to say you all rule for not participating in a guard-citizen fight

and leaving them all to die for your own amusement

Or

you all suck for whimping out of the best sort of fights in the game.

 

but speaking of guards i have the BEST storys about my lvl 30 mage char

(for all you who want to see her on OBLIVIONplayers.com its danielle)

i have downloaded toaster's 'toster says share' mod which gives you the ability

to recrut companions if thier disposition is over 80. (which means guards, peasents and immortals)

[aka quest specific] and i would make a group of 15ish ppl (with Immortals in there somwhere)

give them all wierd armor (like heavy/light ppl, some missing bits [like pants] all light 'skirmishers' or heavy 'tanks') give them an array of good weaponry from my large stock and dump them in the IC arboretum or in front of the IC palace. then id command one to attack a guard. then *CHAOS*

every one of mine draws thier weapon and attacks the poor singled-out guard and lay into him, if i have enough ppl then not everyone can fit around him, but of course his mates hear the massive murder of the guard and run out draw blades and lay into my mottely group of peasents and rejects. the pesants die quikly but my immortals keep getting up and so there are all these guards dieing and my survivors keep getting up (there are a couple of well armored but weak immortals i had and a guard takes them out in 1 hit. funny as to either watch or join, once you run out of guards (you will eventually, i ran out of guards turned myself in, resisted arrest and they poped into existance again, and you can allways resurrect your old companionsand have the neverending guard battle. one tip though if you command a companion to attack in stead of whaking a guard yourself you aren't held guilty and they ignore you) [if they attack you and you have a bounty of 0 then yield to a guard by holding block and activating them and they will leave you allone] just re-load

 

very funny stuff. i hope to be back tomorrow with more funny storys.

 

also if you know toaster ar are toster reply or et him to reply and tell me how to get the generals, there is no quest topic to have him join you.

 

have fun and keep giving me...us these wonderful storys. till then.

Ethereal Nature

[theRx]

When I was low level and couldn't afford a real horse, I made do with Prior Maborel's. So I'm riding around, heading to the Imperial City, when I encounter my first mountain lion. Deciding that since the original idea I had for my character was a hunter, I jumped off the horse and went into stealth. Not a second after I'd done this than a onjurer that I had unknowingly passed chucked a fireball at me. Or so I thought. He yelled "This is for stealling from me, fetcher!" and chucked another one, at my horse. My horse panicked and started runnning around in circles, attracting a nearby boar. So what it came down to was: me, conjurer and his summon, a mountain lion, a boar, and poor old Prior Maborel's horse. I was able to kill the conjurer and the mountain lion, but the horse was ruinning away with the boar in tow, and I couldn't catch up. So I walked the rest of the way to the Imperial City.

Once I'd been given a new quest that required me in Skingrad or Anvil, I started heading that way. And who do I find? The boar standing over my dead horse's body. In the end, I lost a free horse, but gained some easily aquired boar meat.

 

Another time, near Skingrad, I found a dead Imperial Legion horse. A little ways up the road, I see a dead Legion guard. As I pass it, I noticed something strange. As I'm sure many of you have noticed the minor collision problems with dead bodies at times. Well, it manifested this time as the tip of the torch he was carrying sticking out of his crotch. There are some nasty STDs in the Elder Scrolls universe. Unfortunately, I don't think I had correctly set up the .ini file for screenshots, so I dont have any proof of this. :(

[Rhydderch Hael]

An Oblivion Gate popped out near the Gold Road, just south of the Brina Cross Inn. When conducting the Anvil Mages' Guild recommendation quest, I noticed an Imperial Legion soldier in a bit of a bind. Clannfear from that gate had killed his horse, and after I finished up with my own business at hand, I waded in and destroyed that gate.

 

Continuing on with the game from that point, every time I travel the Gold Road to Anvil I pass by this unchanging sight: a dead Legion horse laying in the middle of the road, and an Imperial soldier simply standing watch over it. With his mount dead, this guy had nothing better to do than stand around and mourn the critter. Every time I pass by, he says either "Do you think we stand a chance?" or "Let's get the bastards!". Clearly he's miffed about the matter of daedra.

 

 

Then again, these Legion guys can be real jerks. There I was, walking through the streets of Skingrad (doing the 'Ulterior Motives' quest) when I come across something you don't see every day: an Imperial Legion soldier walking through the streets of the city itself. Eager to find out all that I could about this curious sight, I walked over and tried to start a conversation with him...

 

"It's all over! Nobody breaks the law on my watch!"

 

I muttered to myself, "You don't know how right you are, you addled lackwit." I didn't do anything! Yet he hauled me in for a 1 gold fine. Honestly, if my character wasn't such a Boy Scout, that Legion soldier would have been a smouldering corpse right now— bounty be damned.

 

Never found out what triggered it, much less why a Legion soldier tracked me down instead of a Skingrad town guard.

 

So, as a word of advice: if you see a Legion soldier walking down a town street, either dodge him or destroy him— he's after you!

[FastRedPonyCar]

On a couple of occasions, an enemy has gotten caught in a gate or something and one of their body parts would move really fast.

 

Best one though was when I killed a nether lich in one of the Aleid ruins and he fell back into a metal gate and his head went through it but the rest of his body didn't and his head was siting there going CRAZY. It was shaking all over really fast and the rest of his body was all twitching around and kicking.

 

I got my laugh, raped and pillaged the rest of the dungeon and on my way back, he was still flopping around.

 

ahhh good times.

[heavyghost]

I have a few none really special.

 

1.) I was in a store in the Imperial Market District when some lady (why i don't know) started attacking some guy with a longswors, well as you all know longswords have a way of hitting random people. So while fighting the shopkeeper he hit a gate guard and that lead on to about 5 guards and 3 archer. well yeah so in about 10 minutes everone in that area is dead except for the watch captain.

 

2.) Similar to the one above but 2 members of the mystic dawn got involved somehow, then they started attacking me for no reason. I guess pure hate.

 

3.) It was a nice bright morning As I was wandering the coast, when I came across a cave. outside the entrance were crates and barrels of all sorts. As i got closer I noticed a MASSIVE amount of bottlles containing beer and mead. During my examination of the scene I looked out over the waters surface to see the body of a Female. I waded my way out and noticed she was wearing a bluish-black robe and appeared to be a Vampire. I proceeded to drag the body ashore and take what she had of any value to me. Now the conclusion I came to was she was having a wild party with her vamp buddies and passed out before the others went back inside. She was awakened by the sun beginning to burn her up causing her to pannick and run into the water where she eventually died from the burning sun.

 

Is this possible in any way, shape, or form? if so thats friggin awesome. Tell me what you think.