Zuperbuu Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 closing Oblivion gates I hear raises fame. And this page is made of pure lol. Sheogorath: CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!Me: OMGDOWANT! o3oSheogorath: Wait, scratch that. Cheese for noone.Me: *punches Sheogorath in the face and gets killed* Ocheeva: I've been hearing rumors of Family members, murdered! Could there be an assassin among assassins?Me: Yes, I did it. And by the way, you're meant to be next. o3o Glarthir: They're watching me, always!Me: I think Lord Sheogorath could use a man like you in Dementia! Maybe he'll even promote me! :D SI NPC: You got some Skooma, yeah? Right?Me: Get your own Skooma!SI NPC: You're so cruel! I hope you die a horrible death!Me: That's what Syl keeps saying but I can't die because I can always reload a previous save. So deal with it. o3o Guard: Stop criminal! I've heard of you. Your criminal exploits are well known, pay the fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit!Me: *checks bounty* ...dude, my HUGE Bounty is for Shivering Isles...here is just...5 Gold...where did you get the knowlege of my criminal exploits? O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Vyper Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 Bandit: "You move like a pregnant cow!"Me: "Never compare me to your mother!" *kills bandit* Emperor: "You are the one from my dreams."Me: "Seriously? You're hitting on a prisoner? What, did the Imperial Concubine kick you out or something?" Merchant: "I have the best goods and lowest prices in all of Cyrodiil."Me: "So does everyone else." I dont know how to reduce my infamy from its sky high 500... without using cheats...If you have Knights of the Nine, you can do the Wayshrine pilgrimage to remove your infamy completely. Or you could download this mod and buy a spell from Calandiil to do it. Oh, and if you think 500 Infamy is bad, check out my psycho character, Sir Killsalot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuperbuu Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 THIS ONE CONTAINS A SPOILER!I found a weird glitch in the Shivering Isles, where Sheogorath turns into Jygalagg. Just as he changes, if you talk to him again he acts as if nothing as happened, then continues, and you can keep talking to him and he'll just behave like nothing happens until he eventually fades away. This left me shouting: NOOOOOOO! COME BACK!! You never gave me MY CHEESE!! And make your mind up, are you Jygalagg or not? Highwayman: Your money or your life.Me: Both are worthless compared to my loyalty to Sheogorath, so take both. o3o Mythic Dawn Agent: DIE NON BELEIVER!Me: I beleive in Sheogorath and the Daedric Princes! Leave me alone! D: Fighters Guild Leader *forgot her name*: You have slain one of your Fighters-Guild brothers!Me: But he was dressed like a Mage from the Mages Guild and I hate them! NPC: You've got some nimble fingers, what have you been getting in to?Me: Wouldn't you like to know! *laughs* *I shoot a horse with an arrow*NPC: STOP! Theif!Me: ...it counts as stealing if you hit a horse? o3o Prophet: Will no one stand to quest for the relics? WILL NO ONE---Me: *punches him in the face and knocks him unconcious*Guard: STOP! You violated the law!Me: He violated the air with his words of madness, that where not for Sheogorath. Arrest the traitor!*I end up having to kill the guard*NPC: HELP! Murder!*I end up having to murder the NPC*Prophet: *still ranting, not even noticing me murdering anyone who shouts murder, eventually though he grabs some guys sword and attacks me until I knock him out, then he rants again.*Me: You just went through battle with me and LIVED, nobody but Lex, The Gray Fox and Sheogorath has lived! GET THE RELICS YOURSELF!!! Mazken Guard: Halt lawbreaker! *I forgot exactly what she said after this*Me: If I kill you will my Lord be angry? I like him when he's angry! o3o Highwayman: This is a hold-up, hand it over or else!Me: *throws the Gatekeeper parts at Highwayman* TAKE THEM IF YOU CAN! Jygalagg: All shall crumble before Jygalagg!Me: YAY YOU'RE 'LAGGING' MY GAME!! Also I want Sheogorath back. :( Bandit: "You move like a pregnant cow!"Me: "Never compare me to your mother!" *kills bandit* That's pure LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eXoduis Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Prophet: Will no one stand to quest for the relics? WILL NO ONE---Me: *punches him in the face and knocks him unconcious*Guard: STOP! You violated the law!Me: He violated the air with his words of madness, that where not for Sheogorath. Arrest the traitor!*I end up having to kill the guard*NPC: HELP! Murder!*I end up having to murder the NPC*Prophet: *still ranting, not even noticing me murdering anyone who shouts murder, eventually though he grabs some guys sword and attacks me until I knock him out, then he rants again.*Me: You just went through battle with me and LIVED, nobody but Lex, The Gray Fox and Sheogorath has lived! GET THE RELICS YOURSELF!!! haha lol.. like your sheobsessionDang it i aint doing this dumb pilgrimage again... better live with my sins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuperbuu Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 LOL Yes. My character is a mad worshipper of Sheogorath (I really like the Shivering Isles expansion though myself!) who happens to be a kleptomaniac schitzophrenic. What a combination. XD So he'll steal things, even if he doesn't want/need them and then kill people for no reason, or if he happens to be hyperactive he'll randomly punch people who shout. Gray Fox: I have a task that requires you to steal something of great value, so great that the empire has kept it hidden for many years. Will you accept this task?Me: NO, because you didn't say the magic word. o3o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackerrR Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Baurus: We are the emperor's bodyguards, our job is to get him out of the situation like.Me: Realy? I thought you are his private dancer. Uriel Septim: Close shut the jaws, of Oblivion!Me: Yeah right, say hallo to Lich King once you're in Warcraft. Sheogorath. (speeks about brain pie) Care to donate?Me: Good idea, i'm hungry too! Blademaster: I've heard a rumor that you're an idiot. Any truth to that?Me: Who told you that? Ex Mankar Camoran? Guard Captain from Kvatch: We lost damn city, that's what happened!Me: Where, maybe we can find it??? :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuperbuu Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Big Head: Find Fork for Big Head?Me: I have it but I like it, so no Fork for you!! o3o NPC: Heard any news from the other provinces? (to another NPC)Me: IN SHIVERING ISLES ORDER IS ATTACKING!NPC2: Nothing I know of.Me: IN ELSWYER I'M A WANTED CRIMINAL!NPC: The Imperial Legion keeps going on about the Gray Fox, I think they're just chasing Shadows really. (to NPC2)Me: I R IN THEIVES GUILDZORZ, I SEEEEN GRAY FOX, I PUNCHED HIM TOO. AWWW FRIBBLE!NPC2: Stop talking.NPC: Bye.*i engage in conversation with NPC* Me: Why'd you ignore me??NPC: What?Me: You're doing it again!! *murders NPC* You listened to my Blade, but not me!NPC2: MURDER! MURDER!!*Murders everyone who shouts Murder and then gets killed by the guards* Ocheeva: Sithis save me!Me: ACCESS DENIED. *asking Mages Guild guy about Vampirism*Raminus Polus: I'm not comfortable sharing this information with you.Me: Would you feel better with a blade in your gut? o3o Night Mother: I knew this would all happen, but I did nothing because I felt my children where too blind to see it and had to be punished.Me: YOU USED ME!! You're no better than the Mages Guild!! D:Night Mother: You, a newcommer into the Dark brotherhood slayed more than half my Black Hand.Me: Don't make excuses! DIE!!*I skipped through the rest and tried attacking her, bad stuff happened quickly and I had to reload the game which dropped me back in Bravil.*Me: ...Black Hand Speaker: Night Mother, we summon you *blahblahblah*Me: ...forget this, I'm going back home. Cutter: Why ue the Mania smith? I'm much better than he ever could be!Me: Do you knw who I am? Don't shout at me or I'll cut your throat. o3o*Robs Cutter blind, and she attacks*Cutter: STOP THEIF!Me: STOP STABBING ME!! D: I do love my little Kleptomaniac Schitzophrenic, it's fun RPing him. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pineapplerum Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I don't really say anything to them but "Shut Up!"When I'm hailed though, I always like to thank them and suck up the glory for a little while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuperbuu Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Fimmion: Fimmion hungry, you have sweetroll for Fimmion?Me: No, I don't have a sweetroll.Fimmion: No sweetroll for Fimmion, no idea for you!Me: I HAVE A SWEETCAKE FOR YOU!! D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterMolecule Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 "I'm SO happy to see you I could BURST!" ...so burst already. Search for a mod called "No more annoying comments." All goofy comments about your skills are disabled. "You have the tan line of an alchemist!" and all that silly stuff is removed. I can't play without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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