Muds story

[Deleted54170User]

I am looking for an escape. I am looking for a character who will be my representative for the journey. I hate my life! It is so boring doing the same thing over and over every day.

 

My escape must start when I begin to read, images should begin to take place in my mind as the story unfolds, and provide me with a wonderland I want to return to when I get off work again at the end of my shift. If I had a wife and family to support I probably would not have the time, or care, to read such fantasies. But that is another story.

 

My own feelings of being neglected like a thousand other children in hade's is common. We were born and bred to be servants of his magnificent's. We all know what it is like to be deserted. I was once, or twice, before I became old enough to work.

 

When I was still too young to understand the 8 billion ways to die on Earth, or care if I did, I was already earning my room and board. Some of the cheery 'child to hero' stories got my attention. Lately though I only want to see exciting good spy, good cop, or good agent of higher up, racy stories with words that lift my spirit out of the rut that binds me to hade's.

 

Even though I was born here I want to travel. You know, get out and see the world. Down here it looks the same where ever you turn outside the interior of our work places.

 

I am not like my parents! They were sent here.

 

They grew up on the surface and for years were proud individuals who played and worked alongside their human fellows to win battles against the horrible beasts of the lands. At least that is what I think they did. Any proof they might have had stayed up there.

 

In hades it is cold outside and the flames keeping us within the border around the river styx will freeze your fingers if you touch them. Thawing takes awhile. The fingers recover though, unlike the ones my Father is missing from frost bite.

 

He told me when you are on the surface it is warm part of the year. When the season called, "Winter" comes it gets cold like it is here. Here, outdoors it is cold all the time. He says the cold up on the surface can kill you. That makes 8 million and 1 ways to die.

 

That is just one reason I may not like it up there. As it seems in the Summer, when it gets so warm, the skin can get redder then the churning lava in the pool.

 

That's hades pool. No one else is allowed in.

 

Who is hades? He's a greek god that got tossed out of the yacht club because he learned he could beat his brothers and sister racing just by getting all riled up.

 

The story goes he was losing the race against his brothers and sisters when his frustration got the best of him. He stood up holding on to the mast he leaned forward on his dingy to curse all their good fortune.

 

While he was bent over he let loose a great deal of flatulence and passed them all before they reached the finish line.

 

They could not stop laughing and he was overwhelmed by it too. He could not help it any better then they as he laughed too. They could not stop and no one understood why, until hades went behind a bush to relieve himself that is.

 

Everyone's guffaws died down. Even his slowed to a few chuckles.

 

As the story goes, when he walked out from behind the burning bushes everyone started laughing again. They laughed for another thousand days, until when he had to relieve himself again. Just water this time so he wasn't gone long. Their ruling was instant.

 

They called out, "Stay! Don't come out! From this day forth you own the dominion of the below. Our laughter has proved it. We are but children when you are in our sight. Although your beauty as a god is the greatest amongst us...ha ha haaa...your flatulence...ha ha haa...this is where Zeus almost lost it...his royal composure for ever...m m mm ha ha...You m ma must stay out of sight and for that we all agreed you s sh should have the Earths interior f fo for your own.

 

He stepped out to receive their glad tidings and they all bellowed like the wind as long as he stood in their sight.

 

One afternoon, some hundred human years later they all had learned to talk as they laughed, which you humans call, "Stuttering". They all laughed in agreement that he had to be out of their site, away, so their humors would cease.

 

That is how hades became ruler of this domain. So when ever any of the gods is cursed by the doldrums they call out to him and he sends then a flatulence report. You puny human's call them volcanic eruptions. M m a ma um mmmm ha ha haaa...

 

Well! Enough of that.

 

That may be funny to all, but us hades folk only get a laugh when he is in full sight on special occasions. As we were born in this domain and the simple things you upper dwellers find so funny we are denied by law and must stop, even the tiny ones.

 

Mmm mm ma a ha ha haa haa! You must understand how difficult it is to tell this story. As if it weren't bad enough that when all the gods laugh you and yours have Earth quakes galore. It makes quite a mess up there.

 

Down here, we have to clean up a greater mess too, since it is our daily job to keep all your little buildings free of dung and dirt we don't appreciate having to have to work the over time. When ever a god party takes place we all get a laugh. It is a really good time.

 

You must understand we don't fuss about our jobs. The stories I seek are not vital every hundred years so I only read a book or two ever two or three hundred years. And usually it isn't a bad place to live except about every ten thousand years of your kinds life...I should not tell...just thinking about it...m mm ma ah haa ha haaaa....Well...t th the f fa fact is h he is given a f fa full gods day up there to restore his c ca complexion.

 

We c ca could go on about this, b ba but you should know, our jobs aren't the problem, until they let us all let lose on flatulence day, that is, b ba because for me and my co-workers the job is easy as p pa pie. We spend it shoveling the same old s*** day after day.

 

Oh mores the worry! Here comes the tears from my eyes, spittle, and snot out of my face. I am in trouble now. I will have to work a couple hours over time for a few days. What a relief that is because of some months I might have had extra hours that I will not. I am sure glad though. I'm glad I didn't

 

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fart.

 

:laugh: