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Give me your fallout jokes


PaladinRider

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Jason Bright and his followers were established in the Great Beyond, but they missed the harsh (but comforting) Mojave sun. So Jason readied an expedition to form a colony on the Sun.

 

"You can't go or you'll get burned!" one of his followers shouts.

 

"It's okay, we'll go during the night!" he said.

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Two tribals and a Raider walk into a bar. One Legion Recruit walks out.

 

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Did you hear? Mr. House is rehabilitating some of the fiends from Vault 3. He calls them jetsetters.

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I'm sorry but after writing a paper these jokes are somehow hilarious.

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Wat does a wastelander have for breakfast? Wat ever sneaks up on him.

 

So Do They take the white gloves off during sex. No there All so stuck up over there

 

Two gamorrah thugs are eatin breakfast when a third enters and asks wheres the fourth the first answered back i guess u dont want breakfast

 

wat did the the kahn say to the tallest legioneer? your balls are showing

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Variation on an old joke I heard on the radio many years back, no idea where...

 

 

Professional Inbound Call-Center Voice: "Thank you for calling the Mojave Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. This is Jim. How can I help you today?"

 

 

Drunken Guy: "Uhhhhh ... do you guys deliver?"

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A few unoriginals tailored for the Ultra-Lux:

 

Mortimer and a friend were having dinner when the friend says "Geez I hate my mother-in-law." And Mortimer replies, "So try the potatoes."

 

A well-to-do wastelander was in the Gourmand and asks the waiter "Is it safe to eat here? I heard there's cannibals here." And the waiter replies, "Oh no, we ate the last one this morning."

 

A couple wastelanders were kidnapped by the White Glove Society and put into a big pot of water over some coals. When one of the wastelanders started laughing hysterically, the other one exclaims "Are you crazy? Don't you realize they're going to eat us?!" And the laughing wastelander says, "I just peed in their soup."

 

What did Mortimer do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt. (my apologies :P )

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A few unoriginals tailored for the Ultra-Lux:

 

Mortimer and a friend were having dinner when the friend says "Geez I hate my mother-in-law." And Mortimer replies, "So try the potatoes."

 

A well-to-do wastelander was in the Gourmand and asks the waiter "Is it safe to eat here? I heard there's cannibals here." And the waiter replies, "Oh no, we ate the last one this morning."

 

A couple wastelanders were kidnapped by the White Glove Society and put into a big pot of water over some coals. When one of the wastelanders started laughing hysterically, the other one exclaims "Are you crazy? Don't you realize they're going to eat us?!" And the laughing wastelander says, "I just peed in their soup."

 

What did Mortimer do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt. (my apologies :P )

 

 

Maybe it's just my slightly immature humour, but these are some of the funniest ones I've seen.

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Ha ha, yeah, I felt a little juvenile laughing at the last couple especially.... so, in that spirit, I made one up in my fit of giggling: "You might want to think twice about accepting an invitation from the UltaLux to the Policeman's Ball."
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  • 1 month later...

Whats the difrense between a brotherhood knight and a mole?

 

a mole comes out of the ground sometimes

 

 

 

just can spell that word

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