Knux897 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, but I've really become interested in the concept of using fallout as a way to express a story through machinima. I'm not trying to advertise this, but rather I'm looking for some constructive criticism. If you would be kinda enough to view my video, I would love to have as much feedback as possible. Is it interesting? Is it worth making another episode? What could I improve on? Those kinds of things please. Also if this is the wrong section, the please move it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPWRHY7IDug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhasyel Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Well, I think you should go on with the episodes, but I suggest you to do one little thing: call someone for the voice acting. Being just a voice sometimes may be confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeoshua Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah I got to say the main character sounds like he has not one but several frogs in his throat. Is he about to die from whatever sickness? I mean that might be a cool twist, but then you should play it up with some coughing. Otherwise, the voice should be gruff, not whispy. The story is slightly different from all the other Fallout Machinmas that I've seen, although it still follows the Vault -> Megaton -> Bomb plot so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knux897 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 (edited) Well thank you for the feedback. Also, because I don't have any voice actors besides myself, I just tried to make the three speaking characters sound different which is why it sounds hoarse for the main character. However I guess I can redo the main character in just my normal voice. I also do understand that the start of the plot is a bit cliche but I have some really ambitious ideas for how I want to continue the plot (Tenpenny is sick and dying but he has a whole council of paranoid executive like people that send the wastelander on ridiculous missions while trying to find his partner who already left the vault and the whole story snowballs into something crazy). Also, does anyone know of any people who will do quality voice acting for free? I think I could find some people that I know, but I would rather have someone who enjoys what they are doing. Edited July 8, 2011 by Knux897 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DZMaven Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 It's looks nice. A lot better than anything I've been able to put together so far(I've been experimenting with some F3 machinima too). I like the cinematic shots. Voice work tends to be a big limitation with this sort of thing though. It's almost a luxury to have good voice talent for things like this. You might try practicing a bit more with your voice work, see if you can control your pitch better. The main character's voice over is a bit low at times; can't really hear him. The subtitles help with that though(I might suggest typing up dialogue in wordpad, or something to spellcheck it since I spotted a couple errors.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monster0mash Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) That's pretty darn good. If I was going to be picky I'd:* drop the intro as it doesn't seem to add anything to the set-up. Not the studio part, the part after. Or add some story background or spruce up visually.*condense some of the panning shots. If we've played the game, we've already seen all of that. Or spruce it up. Have a fight on the way. A chopper fly over.*the green font looks like '70's system font from Aliens. If that's a FO3 font maybe it just looks strange bigger. It looks out-of-place to me.*Maybe check some script-writing books for building drama in dialog. Add something new. And check on recording dialog, get a screen for your mic a little too much breath in a couple parts. But hey, I'm interested enough to find out what happened to Sarah. Edited July 18, 2011 by monster0mash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knux897 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 Thank you guys for the feedback, I've just been gone for a week so I didn't see this until yesterday. I do agree that the beggining is rather pointless so yesterday a cooked up a little more flavor for it. I also intend to make minor changes and actually find some voice actors and then from there I will continue on and release the next part. Is this introduction better?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA0oC2ZpRkQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superrpgman Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 One word: Impressive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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