What values and charactor traits do you look for in a significant othe

[kvnchrist]

I am a confirmed bachelor, I've had my chances when I was young, but I guess I was to stupid or just lacked enough confidence in myself to take on the responsibility of another person. I didn't even think about that another person could add to my world instead of detract from it. Not until I was old enough to notice that the flash and glitter of the world of my youth was only window dressing. The world has changed considerably, since those times and those I knew as a youth, are either dead, because they remained in the world of their youth, or had grown past me and had made preparations for a better life I was too blind to see. I guess it is my experiences with myself that drives me to take the viewpoint I have about Governments roll in our lives. I know personally how it effected me, when I didn't take responsibility for myself. It lead to having nothing and living my life, hand to mouth and being dependent on the good graces of those who have made it in life. Though I hold a job and pay my way, I have nothing of substance to show for working my whole life.

 

I have recently been looking, but All that I have found are those like myself that have sloughed off their lives and now just look for someone to cling to so they can continue being the persons they always have been. I dislike what I've done with my life and refuse to take on take on a mirror of myself. I think in all relationships each person need to reduce the baggage they bring into it and repair their situation enough to have something to bring to the table. If not then I will be a drain on the one that will have me.

 

As far as traits go, I think honesty, trust and loyalty is the key for the starting of a relationship. I think without it, there is no relationship. I thank True love comes with the finding of those traits that you admire in others along with the individual quirks and individual styles that bring the joy into your life that has never been there before.

 

To me I need someone to stimulate my mind as well as my soul, but not enough that the relationship isn't too one sided. I need a partner, not a teacher. I want someone to experience life with, to dance and sing together, to frolic in the sand, to observe the beauty in this world that I've forgotten in the hustle and bustle of this pressure cooker we call life.

[Aurielius]

I think the best answer I could give is to find someone who posses the qualities that you do not, no one is entirely all rounded and having someone like that makes you part of a better functioning unit. The thing that I would put forward, is that your partner needs to be someone that is a real and meaningful friend, it is the thing that lasts when the heat of first lust and frenetic love fade. That at least is how I see it and being married for 36 years has had the most meaning to me also. As an aside it won't hurt if she is a good cook, you eat an awful lot of diners over the years.. :whistling: