Single life or relationship

[BlackBaron2]

We need a forum drinking game with "Take a shot every time somebody brings up the good old days or political correctness gone mad in a debate thread" :thumbsup:

 

Also, the single-bashing is really quite nasty. Don't you remember being irritated when old busybodies asked when (as opposed to if) you were going to get married and have a kid? I've encountered more people who think being single is the second-worst fate for a white Western person (especially a woman), than I have commitment-resistant people. I say second-worst because they think the worst fate for a Western person is heaviness. Single people can honestly do without being made to feel like failures just because they don't have the white picket fences life with a spouse and children. Not everyone who does not get married and have kids is a bad person, and "commitment phobia" is a really lazy and ableist insult, like "daddy issues".

[myrmaad]

We need a forum drinking game with "Take a shot every time somebody brings up the good old days or political correctness gone mad in a debate thread" :thumbsup:

 

Also, the single-bashing is really quite nasty. Don't you remember being irritated when old busybodies asked when (as opposed to if) you were going to get married and have a kid? I've encountered more people who think being single is the second-worst fate for a white Western person (especially a woman), than I have commitment-resistant people. I say second-worst because they think the worst fate for a Western person is heaviness. Single people can honestly do without being made to feel like failures just because they don't have the white picket fences life with a spouse and children. Not everyone who does not get married and have kids is a bad person, and "commitment phobia" is a really lazy and ableist insult, like "daddy issues".

No one ever bothered to ask me when I was going to get married and have a kid. I'm a very private person, from a very private family and those busy bodies never had the nerve to say anything to my face.

 

I see some rather blatant 'couples bashing" on this thread but I'm talking about actual commitment phobia which occurs inside relationships more often then among singles.

 

I'm starting to get really tired of you taking things I say and twisting them into what I view as self-serving attempts to further your own platform, though. I never make statements about you, specifically, without saying so specifically.

 

In general, society and media romanticize cheating which absolutely plays on the rampant commitment phobia among the masses.

[draconix]

My initial thought is that someone thinking they're better off alone likely hasn't found the right yin to their yang yet. And who knows, that special person might not exist. When two people can make each other happy by just being around each other, that's when being in a relationship works. I've been this particular relationship for 1/3 of my life so far, and I have to say that it is far better being together than being apart.

 

Then again, that's from the perspective of a personality type that I know works well in a relationship. Your mileage may vary... People who feel that their relationship feels like a prison might work better with a spouse who embraces an open relationship. *shrug*

[Jopo1980]

I have found out that looking for a partner is exceedingly difficult if you don´t want children like me. Most women it seems want to have children and of course they hope that the potential companion has the same ideas.

[raatorotta]

I have major difficulty to trust anyone enough to have relationship but being single for a long time is just too lonely.

[Beriallord]

I've had some relationships end, because I brought up the fact that even both of us didn't make enough money to support a family, well that was when I was 19. I was really close to getting married at 19. I'll probably settle down in my 30s and have a family. I'm not looking to have kids yet, and neither am I looking to support someone elses kids.

[Jopo1980]

I agree with Beriallord. I would NEVER get into a relationship with a single mother. I don´t want to become a provider for kids whom somebody else has seeded and if you get into a serious relationship with a woman who has kids, it WILL eventually come up that it would be nice if you contributed financially to the "family", calling you to commit YOUR money to support someone else´s kids and the rationale would have course be that the kids are innocent and they need support, so it would be selfish to reject the request. (Don´t you like kids or what is your problem?)

 

No, if a man seeds a child, he must support it, it´s in the law, but it would be ILLOGICAL to support the kids of another man.

 

Hence I skip over the ads of single mothers when I look at dating sites and the sad fact is that most single women of around 30 years of age already have children from previous relationships, so it kinda narrows down the candidate pool and those who don´t have children already are feeling their biological clock ticking and are probably seeking a provider for their future children, so that narrows me out, since I am incapable of supporting a family at present and UNWILLING to have children anyways, so as they say TOO BAD FOR ME!

[Balagor]

My brother has supported someone elses child for about 40 years now. If you chose that way of relationship, you must take responsability.

It has nothing to do with who´s child, or who should pay. It has to do with only one thing: LOVE

[Jopo1980]

I know Balagor, one of my childhood friends was in a relationship with a single mother, who bore him a son. They separated eventually, but he´s happy with his son and while they were together he probably took good care of the two daughters already in the family. I could never do that, so I guess my friend must be more of a man than I am, but never mind about that.

[Beriallord]

I'd say it would be pretty difficult being a single mother, for one most guys are going to be turned off because they don't want the added responsibility. And plus the fact you would have to deal with this woman's EX if or whenever they come around to get the kids, or etc. Potential fist fight in the making should your girls ex come around and start talking smack or suddenly goes emo.