500 things you have learned in Oblivion

[ninja_lord666]

28: No one cares how many crimes you've committed, as long as you've paid the fine.

29: You can ignore your skills for weeks on end with no repercussions, but if you spend one day in jail, you'll get worse.

30: You can go your entire life without eating.

31: Bodily waste doesn't exist.

32: At level 10, you can run faster than your horse.

33: No one else will level up until you do.

34: Guards exist only because of you.

35: Guards won't hesitate to kill you even though you saved them from certain death at the hands of the daedra.

[Vagrant0]

36. A handful of small farms can feed a nation.

37. The black horse couriers are only fast because they have the news printed ahead of time.

38. There are more bandits, necromancers, and raiders than any other group, and there always will be. Guards are a close second.

39. A level 1 can become grand champion in the arena.

40. You can kill a skeleton with arrows.

41. No matter how hard you try, you just cannot kill some people.

42. No matter how hard you try, some people will always die.

43. Both situations can be entertaining.

44. Nobody can do anyhing on their own. They have to ask the Player to do it for them. They will wait as long as it takes for the player to finish.

45. You don't have money when you need it, but always have excess later.

46. Nobody cares what, or how little you're wearing.

47. Bandits will always attack you, no matter how much stronger you are.

48. Wolves don't hunt in packs, but can bite through full plate.

[Sypron]

48 - You can become the "Grand Whatever" of anything, and everything, at level 1.

49 - If there is something, there is a Daedra or Aedra for it.

[Jumonji]

50 - No one can jump but you.

51 - Food never spoils, no matter how long you leave it out.

52 - There are no flies or mosquitos or fleas in Tamrial.

53 - No one ever, ever takes a bath.

[arcturus62]

54... Armor that leaves 98% of your skin exposed is just as good as armor that completely covers your body.

55... You go to sleep standing up and wake up standing up.

[Vagrant0]

56. People love talking about Mud Crabs... Which reminds me, I saw a Mud Crab by the water the other day...

 

57. Bandits in full glass are still interested in the handful of coins you're running around with.

 

58. There are flowers, but no birds or bees. (explains why there aren't any children)

 

59. Without exception, wood elf males are all annoying.

[SickleYield]

60. Male Khajiits and Argonians have an unusual congenital defect that causes them to sound Russian when all of their female counterparts sound American.

61. Bretons have French names, but British accents. Huh?

62. It doesn't matter how cool the magic weapon looks, if you get it at level 1 it will suck forever and ever.

63. Amazons don't care if you ARE female, misandrist and bloodthirsty, they want you dead. Now.

64. Judging by their reanimated remains, the ancient Ayleids were all identical to one another. Perhaps inbreeding is the real reason they died out.

65. Only human and elven races can be raised from the dead.

66. A game can have exactly one semi-seductive female animation, and until umpteen billion sexy anim mods come out, that animation will be used unto death.

67. Any game that can be even slightly modded will eventually be made to contain anime cat girls, "sexy" vampires and G-string armor. Eventually someone will release a game whose main character is a sexy vampire catgirl in a metal bikini, and the world will end.

[Vagrant0]

67. Any game that can be even slightly modded will eventually be made to contain anime cat girls, "sexy" vampires and G-string armor. Eventually someone will release a game whose main character is a sexy vampire catgirl in a metal bikini, and the world will end.

Think that's already been done... Or it's in the process of being made...

 

68. All bottles are made of indestructible styrofoam. No matter how high they fall from, they never break. Nor can you accomplish anything by continually beating someone over the head with one.

 

69. All people, young, fat, and old, have perfectly fit bodies.

 

70. Potions that have been sitting in a cask for hundreds of years are just as good as fresh ones.

 

71. Alyieds were so advanced they had contemporary books burried with them,

 

72. The occupation of Leyawin was only done to cover up for enept bridge building and remove reason for ships to sail inland.

 

73. Even when you have hundred of arrows sitting around, you still bother to pick up the ones you've shot.

 

74. All items are made of recycled bottles (see 68), but can magically become breakable just by equipping them.

 

75. A person can spend months painting a single picture without ever showing sign of progress.

 

76. The people at the arcane university just sound smart, really they're just passing the same information along endlessly.

 

77. People don't do anything if you aren't around to see them do it.

 

78. You can give a begger 50000 gold, and he'll still be standing there looking for more. (true in reality)

[scarhunter92]

79-People don´t give a poo for corpses on the streets.

80-All the high elves are %&$!heads.

[LFact]

81 - Dark Brotherhood Speaker can go anywhere to find you, only if you committed murder(How can you get here, Lucien?), of course.