500 things you have learned in Oblivion

[evayakiza]

#1001 every building in cyrodiil puts the tardis to shame ?

[Daligh]

1002: Carry a tilde around with you everywhere.

1003: You can alter reality as much as you want, but the more you do it, the more likely it is for the universe will collapse in on itself.

1004: Beware tears in the land. What lies beyond them is more terrifying than the pits of Oblivion.

1005: Keep an eye out for large exclamation marks encased in yellow diamonds.

[rinoaff33]

Here's a Shivering Isles party:

 

1006. Sheogorath knows how to make Hungers and Dark Seducers look cool in his realm compared to the other realms.

 

968. Some people in Cyrodiil get confused with gender sometimes when talking about someone else, sometimes refering to a female as a 'he'.

 

1007. In Sheogorath's realm, everyone believes that you're female. Everyone. Incidentally, that makes the Dark Seducers and Golden Saints that much kinkier.

 

1008. Cutter is a creepy lady [although surprisingly attractive despite being non-modded] but you will love her long time for the gear she can make you.

1009. Blind orcs [he's blind in my game, anyway, he uses Ren's hair] can somehow see what you look like and can also blacksmith like a pro.

1010. Not having a cheese party is a celebration.

 

1011. It's possible to run through the countryside completely naked [i did it for the run speed, honest, that ebony armor is heavy] and the guards won't bat an eye.

Edited July 10, 2011 by rinoaff33

[eric31415]

1012 - Despite the fact that every lowly bandit is a crack shot with a bow, your level 40 companion can't even figure out how to nock an arrow.

 

1013 - The highwaymen must be paying off the guards, why else would sneak attacking one count as murder?

 

1014 - The gods are all fakes. They merely take advantage of the fact that none of the ordinary citizens of Cyrodill have any idea that the only ones with any real godlike powers are beings from another dimension who use the construction set as a means to change everything to suit thier own whims.

 

1015 - People in real life are pretty much the same as the NPCs in Oblivion; 90% of both groups have nothing meaningful to say.

 

There have been several posts relating to the fact that food stays fresh forever in Cyrodill. Allow me to offer an explanation; Always looking for new markets, Mc Donalds has finally expanded into the land of Cyrodill. It has been well documented that thier "food" will not decay even after being left out for a year. Aparently even bacteria are smart enough not to eat it. But thier intrusion into this market must have been fairly recent, since there seems to be no problem with obesity in Cyrodill.

 

While i won't give it a number, because it doesn't exactly meet the criterea - I have learned most of what i know about computers in general by playing, modding, and troubleshooting this game. Many thanks to the members of this site for being such a wealth of knowledge.

Edited July 10, 2011 by eric31415

[FnimonSni]

967. The Guards in Cyrodiil are sometimes prone to violent outbursts and psychotic episodes. They will cut people down mercilessly for stealing things like forks and apples. I once witnessed a guard attack another guard in Cheydinhal and I could never figure out why he did it. They also scream like madmen when trying to kill people, more like barbarians than officers of law and order.

 

1016. They will warn you first though. :tongue:

[rinoaff33]

1017. Games with good modding support don't die until [unless] the sequel comes out.

1018. The only piece of armor you can loot from the Dremora guardian of the Bruma gate are his boots, for some reason. You can't loot any other Dremora armor, period.

1019. The reason levitation is only known by a select few [or one] in Cyrodiil is because the Levitation Act was passed. [i overheard it from some random city-goers.]

1020. Lucien Lachance is actually Sheogorath - he adopted the fake accent to hide his identity, but he occasionally drops it to get his point across. Yes, Lucien came first. :)

1021. Tamriel is one big anachronism: the buildings are gothic, the people are modern, the government is Roman, the Blades are East Asian, the religion isClassical and Medieval, the ships are European Renaissance/more recent than Medieval, the weapons and armor are from different eras, and the Daedra are RAAWRWRWHGHWGHGH (that's "Future" in Dremora).

1022. All buildings in Tamriel are fire-proof. This is also evidenced by the Bruma guild never burning down despite the fire never being put out...

1023. Sigil Stones are semi-sentient. They morph themselves into the form that you will find the least use for when you grab them.

1024. Apparently a "demonic invasion" in Tamriel actually means "a few big scary portals to the otherworld open up and demons wander randomly around them, not doing any invading at all despite the fact that the entrance to the mortal realm is wide open and there are mortals right outside."

1025. Despite the fact that Cyrodiil is the heart of the Empire, its cities are utterly tiny and devoid of people. This is especially egregious [no, the TVTropes drinking game doesn't cease just because you're outside of the website, DRINK UP] for the Imperial City; the city feels very dead despite it apparently being the most important city in the entire Empire. Yes, cities in the Middle Ages (but this isn't the Middle Ages, see #1021) were small by modern standards, but they weren't THAT small.

1026. 99% of residents in Cyrodiil look like they fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Funnily enough, in my opinion, the only person who averts this even slightly is that creepy blacksmith in Crucible, Cutter. I guess it's to make up for none of them having a bad physique.

1027. In most fantasy series, elves are elves and dwarves are dwarves. In Soviet Tamriel, dwarves are elves.

1028. Doors contain miniature black holes that only activate when they close on somebody. Just try closing a door on someone who's dead/knocked out.

1029. Despite the fact that Tamriel has not one, but two very close moons, there are little to no waves on water surfaces.

1030. Bravil is apparently an "important center of trade" [according to Enhanced Economies] despite it being poorer than half of the towns in Vvardenfell.

1031. Purely meta example: It's apparently possible for the filesize of a game to increase tenfold via too many mods. Download addiction FTW.

1032. Running down stairs and hills without flying into the air is not possible in Tamriel. Then again, those stairs in New Sheoth look too small to even walk on...

1033. Ayleid elves apparently loved to dot the land with mausoleums full of treasure, traps, and dead stuff. Maybe they wouldn't have died off if they'd have gotten a new hobby.

1034. Mehrunes Dagon is never happy to see you.

1035. Maybe I'm missing something here, but even the apparently female Daedric Princes are called "princes"...?

1036. Browsing and posting on the Nexus Forums is addictive. Just look at my post time. *hears birds outside* Oh boy...Oh wait, they never shut up despite the time of day. Nevermind.

1037. Elves will always be a race available in a fantasy game. The Elder Scrolls takes this one step further...

1038. Stealing a pewter fork, an apple, or a clay bowl is a capital offense in Cyrodiil.

1039. If a guard takes friendly fire, they will start a chain reaction of rage and kill one another until there's one left standing.

1040. STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM is fun to say, especially if you actually use it in the correct situation.

1041. Redguards aren't black, they're just really really dark-skinned Imperials. Also, if they get TOO dark-skinned, they turn green.

1042. If the player character is blessed with the Most Common Superpower [aka big bosoms], then everyone else in Tamriel must also be blessed with it. Too bad they couldn't inherit a fix for #1026.

1043. A shopkeeper who makes 5 gold in a year [as stated by a certain orc shopkeeper in Cheydinal] has over 1000 gold to use in their store and sells basic and exotic goods alike worth well over 5 gold.

1044. Apparently a timeless, priceless Daedric artifact like the Ebony Blade or Azura's Star actually does have a price despite them only being wielded by one person at a time in the entire world.

1045. Oblivion would be more awesome with a sprinkling of Garrus.

1046. Being hit by a giant claymore or a hammer bigger than your face is just a flesh wound.

1047. The player.createfullactorcopy command causes unfortunate implications when used near a bed.

1048. The Lich King, Sauron, and Pyramid Head occasionally visit Tamriel.

1049. The butterfly effect [haha] at the start of the Shivering Isles does not look like it belongs to Gamebryo.

Edited July 15, 2011 by rinoaff33

[SoulofChrysamere]

1,050. Ida Vlinorman is Cyrodiil's only outspoken professional chapel-climber.

 

1,051. Adamus Phillida will tell a Dark Brotherhood operative who is decked out a full suit of Daedric armor and wielding a big hammer/claymore that, "All you Dark Brotherhood dogs are all sneak and no swing."

 

1,052. Kurdan gro-Dragol's "Axe of Dragol" is actually sitting on the mantle at his summer cabin in High Rock.

 

1,053. Apparently, the denizens of Cyrodiil consider a man or woman dressed in heavy armor and equipped with a large weapon to be a "sneaky-looking sort".

 

1,054. Drunks in Cheydinhal seem to enjoy singing about cliff racers.

 

1,055. When caught up in a scuffle in a town, an unarmed citizen will grab the weapon of a fallen city guard and simply keep it after the fighting subsides.

 

1,056. Although you must sleep in order to naturally recover your magicka in Morrowind, you don't in Cyrodiil.

 

1,057. If you're born under the sign of the Atronach, it doesn't matter whether your in Morrowind or Cyrodiil. Its mighty "Stunted Magicka" trumps both.

 

1,058. Your Intelligence could be -60 and you would still be smarter than all of the mages in Tamriel combined.

 

1,059. In the many long centuries that the Empire's been around, evidently not a single architect, palace official, or emperor thought to seal "The Old Way" into the Imperial Palace.

 

1,060. Skooma prices in Cyrodiil are dirt cheap compared to the prices in Morrowind.

 

1,061. An inner psychopathic demon lives within every Bosmer (Wood Elf) in Tamriel.

 

1,062. If Hermione Granger ever visited Cyrodiil, the Thieves Guild would mercilessly torture her until she showed them how to use the "Alohamora" (unlocking) spell.

 

1,063. Without mods, you are forced to sell nearly every excess Daedric weapon you have at a loss in Cyrodiil.

 

1,064. Apparently even spellmaking and enchanting altars can make pretty good livings in Cyrodiil.

 

1,065. Someone in Mournhold apparently figured out how Almalexia made levitation outside impossible within the city and cast the same spell across all of Cyrodiil.

 

1,066. It is impossible for you or another inhabitant of Cyrodiil to be knocked down by big swinging spiked logs and spiked balls.

 

1,067. The "log pile at the top of a hill/ramp" is the only trap you can reset yourself without waiting three days.

 

1,068. There is a strictly enforced law in Cyrodiil that states that all caves, abandoned mines, Ayleid ruins and ruined forts must be repopulated by a new group of outlaws and/or monsters and/or undead within three days of the last group's extermination.

[Tobjoern]

1069. If an blindfolded NPC suddenly talks to you, it's time to take a bath again...^^ Edited July 30, 2011 by Tobjoern

[JDGameArt]

1070 - Construction Set crashing is not a matter of "if" its a matter of "when".

 

 

 

[aaron9258]

Resurrect the dead khajit in Vilverin.