Taking Offense...

[myrmaad]

Women are still paid less than men for the same exact job performance.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1983185,00.html

 

I can cite so many, many more sources to verify this point.

 

Back to the point of the topic, I think this is just turning out to be the "political correctness" debate retread.

[JimboUK]

Oh I agree measures were needed when the workplace was dominated by neanderthal men but thats not how it is these days, I see no reason why today jobs, parliamentary seats or ministerial posts should be given out on anything other than merit.

[bben46]

Women are different (And I prefer it that way) not deficient. And sometimes that difference does require 'special' consideration in a male orientated workplace. But sometimes that special consideration does go overboard.

 

When our local Volunteer Fire Department started allowing women, one of the new women complained about the pinup pictures in the men's lockers. These pics were not new, some had been in place for years. However, to avoid a lawsuit the men were ordered to remove ALL pictures, including family pics, because ONE person felt it was her duty to be offended by pics that she could only see by peeking into someone elses property. The other women said they were not offended and saw no problem. She quit after a few months claiming a culture of abuse existed at the department. :psyduck: The prohibition was continued even after a separate locker room was installed just for the women.

[myrmaad]

This is your example? :ohdear:

[JimboUK]

This is your example? :ohdear:

 

It's a very good example of what the thread is about.

[Nintii]

OFFENCE ... the battle that most people fail ... the war that is lost, more often than won ... If it were not so then we would not be is this position in the world that we're in now.

 

I don't claim to have ALL the answers, but I have fought and successfully won many of these battles and wars ... and I'm here to talk about my strategies and expose one of the most persistant and important enemies you will ever face and fight.

 

For a start, let's imagine a trap - which is what offence really is - anyhow, imagine for a moment one of those wooden box traps that you prop up on it's side and keep it up with a stick and a string tied to the stick ... you place the bait under the box and when the bird or rabbit or whatever it is comes and grabs that bait, you quickly pull the string and catch whatever it was.

So too is offence ... in the greek there is a word called skandalon ... now if you google this it will take you to some religious sights, but I'm going to spare you that and inform you what that word is ... it is the BAIT, under the TRAP.

There is a joke that I and my friends share with each other when one of us is offended ... we refer to that person as having been "skandalitsized."

They have taken the bait and are now trapped ... there is a way out but for now, understand the very nature of what you are facing.

 

To further graphically illustrate this, there is a type of monkey where I live that hunters or trappers find extremely easy to ENSNARE, they get a heavy pot which has a narrow opening and is deep ... they put the food into this pot and wait, soon the creature arrives and smells the food ... it puts in it's arm to grab the food at the bottom and clutches it but then has a problem in getting it's arm out - because the mouth of the pot is to small to allow the clenched fist with the food inside to come out.

The hunters casually stroll over to the monkey and take it CAPTIVE.

The monkey REFUSES to LET GO of the food and run, it wants to HOLD ON and so is CAUGHT, the HEAVINESS of the pot WEIGHS IT DOWN, and it CANNOT ESCAPE.

So too is the way of offence.

 

Now having said that, to be offended is to TAKE OFFENCE, it doesn't just fall on you, you TAKE IT ... and it ALWAYS COMES IN THE FORM OF A THOUGHT first and then an EMOTION is TIED TO THAT THOUGHT ... this is what produces the BURNING in your mind.

Negative thought marries negative emotion and produces a monster with an insatiable hunger to be fed ... and it's food is more thought with more emotion ... it feeds upon itself and the more it feeds the more it's hunger grows.

For some it ultimately produces mental break down, stress, divorce, murder, hatred most foul and war ... but it always leaves you the loser.

As myrmaad correctly stated ... you should choose your battles ... and choose them wisely ... DON'T TAKE THOUGHT.

 

As we have now established that offense comes in the form of a thought we can now strategise on how to fight back ... and win.

It's not going to be easy ... if I told you that then I would be lying ... but ... with persistance you CAN win and fortify yourself against future and impending attacks ... as a matter of fact you might even win the one you're busy fighting right now.

 

So think of your MIND AS THE BATTLEFIELD and it's war babe ... THIS IS A BATTLE IN THE MIND AND FOR THE MIND.

 

First of all, you can fight back by TALKING CONTRARY to the THOUGHT OF OFFENSE ... ALOUD ... for many people this will produce results ... even if it doesn't become your main weapon, it will always feature as part of your arsenal and will give you a boost at times when you need it ... and remember do it often ... REPETITION is the mother of all learning, and right now you want to teach your mind to be ESTABLISHED in that WHICH IS POSITIVE ABOUT YOURSELF ... even if it's a lie.

Some people say something so often that they believe it ... and that's exactly what you want ... to believe that you are CONTRARY to what the THOUGHT is telling you.

 

Second - and this is my personal favorite weapon, is to directly inject THOUGHTS OF MY OWN into my mind.

Speaking aloud is great because it ultimately producves thoughts, BUT DIRECT INJECTION of thoughts into your mind will fast-track the whole process ... I know I've tried it and so have my friends ... it works.

Again, it won't happen overnight, you must rtemember you are retraing your mind and it's been so used to thinking the opposite for years and so initially your mind will reject it and want to go back to THAT THOUGHT, but just keep on plugging away, keep on thinking and speaking CONTRARY TO THE BURNING THOUGHT.

 

The tide will turn ... it's like a huge tanker they turn the rudder NOW but it takes time and eventually you see the ship beginning to turn.

If you're serious about this then follow this strategy, otherwise you will just continue to fight battle after battle and lose most of them.

 

Now please remember, I never said that you will NEVER BE OFFENDED EVER AGAIN, no, offense will always come but now you handle it differently ... now you're stronger.

Because between offences you have been busy ESTABLISHING yourself and when offense does come and it hits like a wave, you will still remain standing.

 

This is how I do it ... in the morning when I wake up, I with my eyes still shut I begin my day by DELIBERATELY AND DIRECTLY INJECTING THOUGHTS into my mind ... I tell myself that I'm successful in business, that everything is going to go well that day, that I am filled with love and kindness etc., and then only do I open my eyes and face the day ... theres just something about doing this with your eyes closed.

 

Now sometimes my day is really off, but because I've been doing this for so long now, it doesn't even phase me ... in spite of what takes place around me, I'm still upbeat and positive and bounce back like nothings gone wrong.

You see, I have implanted something higher into my mind ... which I reach out to and grasp and it pulls me over the top.

You to need to have something higher than yourself to keep you bouyant ... choose what to think and then deliberately and on purpose THINK those things ...inject those thoughts into your mind and you will eventually see the success, for some it's quicker than others.

 

Even something so simple as the twit who cut you off in traffic will begin to fade from your mind as an issue ... remember the skandalon, the bait, and fortify yourself for tomorrow or even within the next few minutes an offence could come ... be ready for it.

I've been long at this - typing this reply - perhaps theres something I left out ... it will have to wait ... I need tea.

 

cheers and good success in all your battles.

[Balagor]

Offense is a strange thing. Those who suffers from it lack a great portion of self confidence, if you ask me. Especially when it comes to men.

Let´s take the classic example, Many times have I tried in the traffic to be flamed, for example when taking a parking spot. Let´s play psycologist for a moment. One reason the poor man yells at me COULD be that he had hís feelings and pride hurt several times during the day on his job. Perhaps he is even the type that does not know how to say "NO" to his boss. Perhaps he is the "underdog" at his job, and here am I, taking his parking spot right in front of his nose. I am making a very serious break into his privat sphere, AND hurting his allready very worn out feelings and pride. He has been offended all the day, but now, in front of a complete stranger, he has the courrage to say something, to be offended and cry the hell out of me.

Women however, I still have difficulties to figure them out :confused: lol (though I´ve been with one for 36 years) :turned: . To me it seems like it is their social status that is touched when they get offended. I´m not so sure. Any hope I did´nt offend somebody (@myrmaad @Nintii) :tongue:

[ginnyfizz]

Women are different (And I prefer it that way) not deficient. And sometimes that difference does require 'special' consideration in a male orientated workplace. But sometimes that special consideration does go overboard.

 

When our local Volunteer Fire Department started allowing women, one of the new women complained about the pinup pictures in the men's lockers. These pics were not new, some had been in place for years. However, to avoid a lawsuit the men were ordered to remove ALL pictures, including family pics, because ONE person felt it was her duty to be offended by pics that she could only see by peeking into someone elses property. The other women said they were not offended and saw no problem. She quit after a few months claiming a culture of abuse existed at the department. :psyduck: The prohibition was continued even after a separate locker room was installed just for the women.

 

A few years ago, somewhere I worked, my team and I (five women among fifty men) got a bit peed off by the girlie calendars in the warehouse. I was old enough and bolshie enough when someone leered "I bet you wish you'd got a pair like that" to leer back "No I don't, mine are all my own thanks..." but some of the young girls felt a bit uncomfortable. Rather than moan, I decided to strike back and, at the time, the England Rugby Union team had produced a nude calendar (with strategically placed rugby balls for modesty I might add). So I stuck that up on the office wall. Lo and behold, the next morning the warehouse manager came in to see me.

 

"It's about that calendar, Jane..."

"Yeees, fine big lads aren't they?"

"The men don't like it, it's rude."

"Make them feel inferior, does it?" (It certainly should have done).

 

Not only did I refuse to take the calendar down, I then found another one through my horsey contacts depicting farriers wearing nothing but their aprons and put that up too. They were fine strapping lads too.

 

Needless to say, they knew better than to take me on after that. What's sauce for the gander is also sauce for the goose, my point being that men can get just as prissy as women.

[mythicdawnmaster]

whoa you go girl, girl power or what. personally i would have given them a back-hander :biggrin:

[BlackBaron2]

I think that argument of "you just like being offended"/"you could always choose not to be offended" is a bit tired and overused. It's frequently used as a way of shutting down discussion and/or derailing it, particularly when the offended party's a member of a group frequently given grief for merely existing and calling a privileged person out on zir nonsense.

 

I think that "you just like being offended" does have legitimate use when you're talking about someone who keeps giving others grief for just being there or otherwise bemoaning the state of the world because zie lives in the past, but really, I do wish people would stop using it to justify spouting hate screeds all over the show.