Amusing Skyrim Anecdotes of Unheroic Acts

[Astymma]

Just wanted to share some of my best moments of behaving unheroicly, despite my better intentions.

 

At Valtheim Towers, 2 towers connected by a bridge across a deep gorge, I was on one tower and an orc bandit was on the other. I decided to practice my extreme long distance sniping. I fired arrow after arrow and nothing... after 12 I did my best Wilhelm scream, swapped to sword and board, and then charged with berserker fury through the tower I was in, across the bridge over the gorge, killing all bandits in my path. When I reached the top of the tower and killed the orc I yelled HA! Then I noticed something odd on one of the support beams for the parapet he was standing on. A nice neat line of arrows on the vertical support beam...12 in fact. Arggggg!

 

On top of a steep mountain, I was trying to bring down a Blood Dragon and the damn thing just refused to land. So I was twirling slowly in a circle, calmly firing arrows as best I could... slowly but surely bringing down its health. Arrow after arrow... for about 10 minutes until I figured it had at most one arrow's worth of health left. I stepped a pace back to get the best shot I could between two rocks and bring the bastard down and.... stepped off the cliff and fell all the way down the mountain to my death...Arggggg!

 

In a Dwemer ruin I was sneaking around sniping various automatons and I had a spawn of around 5 spiders trailing me... so I decided to be sneaky and back down a hallway. At the end I started firing arrows and was wondering...wow it's kind of bright red at this end of the hallway. My health started dropping fast but I kept firing, sure I'd kill them in time. As the fifth was destroyed my health continued dropping and I died...as it played the cinematic of me dying I realized I was standing inside a blast furnace trap... Arggggg!

 

Please feel free to share your unheroic moments...

[PavelkCZ]

I was in the College of Winterhold and I got just another very important quest from the College questline.

So I left the Archmage quarters, run to my horse which was standing outside. I mount my horse, made a nice effect (pressing SPACE) and jumped straight from the cliff, because I was also pressing W :-)

[Illuna]

hmmm my unheroic act was in riverwood, fighting my first dragon, somehow i managed to kill 4 guards, some women and blacksmith guy, and piss off 2 childs. Good thing there is like 1000 saves :whistling:

[Bunxii]

I was too cheap to buy a house in Whiterun, so I hired the female merc Ulthgerd (the one you have to fist fight to join you) and took her into a dungeon and got her killed. Took her keys, and now have a house right down the street from the blacksmith :)

[huntsman2310]

I accidentally fused a kid into a Dragon's face.....

[agno]

there was a thieves guild quest where i had to steal something in markarth,

anyway i was a thief stealth killer, I tried to sneak through a key area

and there was just too many cops around.

 

I wound up killing a half dozen town guards and fleeing on a stolen

horse with arrows sticking out of my ass.

 

eventually I stashed all my stolen gear and paid my fines :(

 

I'm going to remake a barbarian build and kill every npc i meet

from the first moment of the game until the last.

 

that guy leading me out of the opening cinematic?

fight to the death...

 

guess i better spend some time training my smithing

and alchemy skills then ehh?

[HaikenEdge]

One of my first "fishing" missions from Devlin had a child as a target. In my game, pickpocketing children is impossible (no idea why), so I was pretty much screwed. Still, was amusing.

 

End of the Dark Brotherhood mission, after completing the client's objective and getting paid, I stuck the client like a pig, because I didn't like his agenda. I go back to the Dark Brotherhood HQ, and immediately get fined for apparently violating some kind of unsaid code, even though the leader of the Dark Brotherhood had said previously that they didn't follow such an outdated code. That was kind of amusing.

[Violentguy]

I died to a Skeever.

[Vindekarr]

When I see hawks I snipe them(they drop alchemy ingredients) It's a great way to learn your archery, as diferent bows offer diferent velocity, and there'sn something satisfying about shooting a flying bird in the head at 80 metres with a bow, on the first try, crazy? probably. Makes a huge diference to my shooting abilities? hells yes.

 

On my first night in Skyrim I was very tired, after a long work week and no coffee all day, and I was making numerous errors. I was going down the mountain from the Graybeards on a moonless night when I went off the edge and made my way down to the valley. I landed in a camp and they all came rushing out with weapons drawn. LAWDI-OH! BANDITS! I thought and merrily hacked them to bits, not realising they were'nt bandits. They were stormcloaks. As I gazed around me, soaked in bits of freshly diced racist, I realised I had "made" the choice I'd been umming and ahing about the day before I installed in ten seconds, by accident. But it felt like the right one, I can't abide those guys, they're like the ultranationalist party mixed with apartheid and carrying swords, not nice. Not nice at all.