Tales Of A Wandering Outrider (Chapter 1) "Beginnings"

[Macman253]

The sun slowly peeked over the mountains to the west, it's warm glow descending upon the variety of wagons of the Pawfoot clan's camp. In one such wagon, made from the large stump of a felled tree that had been hollowed out and had wheels fixed to all sides. Towed by a team of Oxen, a loose collection of twenty five wagons circled in the field in which the Pawfoot's spent the wet spring months in preparation for the long summer slog to their harvesting fields in the south.

 

A dogs howl pierced the air as it signaled the rise of the sun, followed by the howls of the other nightly sentries. It was this soft howl that woke the young Markas from his sleep. Little more then eight summers old he shot right up as the sentries howled. The air in the wagon was permeated with the scent of soup on the boil and fine, aged cedar, which all the Pawfoot made their wagons of. A small boy by halfling standards, he was lanky, thin of arm and leg but he had striking blue eyes and dark brown hair like his father. In his bed next to him was his companion for life and bond-brother, Fang. The small hound had yet to grow to his full size, and would not so for many years. Unable to burden a rider for another five summers. Fang woke with a sleepy expression on his face which made Markas smile.

 

"Wake up sleepy head." He said as he gave the puppy a pat between the ears and rose from his bed. He fetched the clothes his mother had laid out for him and quickly donned them before she returned. As soon as he tightened his breeches, his mother opened the door to the wagon, in her hand was a variety of garden vegetables all ready to be diced and thrown into the pot for late breakfast.

 

"Good morning Markas." Said Asper, she had long red hair that was like of low dying flames, her dress was of cross knit with blue beads around her neck, on her right forearm was a pawprint tattoo. Customary of all Outriders to bare such a mark upon open flesh for all others to see.

 

Markas smiled wide, showing an array of white teeth. "Good morning mum." He said, Fang barked in greeting before jumping down off the bed, landing in a scrambling pile before standing up and walking to Markas' side. "Mum, it is my an' Fang's name-day. Would it be okay if I went to the pond with Fang before doing my chores?" He asked with a charming grin. Asper smiled and looked to the female hound laying on the bed across from them both. "What do you think Willow? Would you let Fang go with?" She asked curiously, giving the hound a knowing grin. Willow barked in affirmation, Fang's tail began to wag furiously. Asper turned her green eyes to Markas.

 

"More like his father with every passing day." She thought as she nodded to him. "Alright, but be back before mid-day. Your grand-father will wish those chores done before the day is out and he will tan your rear if they are not done." She said with a stern finger-wave at him. Markas nodded, "I swear it shall be done mother." He said, quickly rushing to his boots and lacing them on. Fang diving through the leather flap over the hole in the center of the door, Markas finished lacing his boots and dove through Fangs door instead of going through the door. He rushed down the steps and once his feet hit earth he took off at a run after Fang.

 

The caravan was stationary, the Oxen grazing in a nearby field. Morning had just come and already the Pawfoot Clan was alive and active, the cutting crews were mustering their axes and saws to begin cutting back some of the forest to be loaded onto carts. A small hunting party was waxing bow-strings and sharpening spears, preparing to depart to seek food for the Clan. Their war-mounts being saddled for the hard ride to come, Markas stopped to watch them mount and ride away, at it's head was the Chief Outrider, the only Outrider allowed to bond with a female that isn't also an Outrider. Such is the custom amongst the Pawfoot Clan. Outriders were born to Outriders, Outriders bonded to Outriders. It had been this way since long before the Elder parents of the Elders remembered. Fang growled at Markas, he looked on upon his father, Ripper amongst those to go hunting, seated upon the great Riding Hound was Markas' own father, Grizz. The broad-shouldered warrior looked upon his son and smiled, he had long, dark brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, on the left side of his neck was the Pawprint Tattoo that marked him as an Outrider. He pulled back on Ripper's reigns and guided him over to Markas and Fang.

 

"Don't you have chores to get to son?" He asked curiously. Markas smiled wide, "Mother said Fang and I could go to the pond until midday." He replied. Grizz nodded, gesturing to the pond with his spear. "Then I would hustle... before the other boys take all the best spots." He said, Markas turned on his heel to see Tobin, Fellas and the Springleaf twins running to the pond, all with their pups in tow. Markas took off at a run, Fang quick on his heels. Grizz chuckled quietly as he watched Markas disappear after his compatriots.

 

Markas was breathing hard when he finally made it to the pond, seeing the other boys splashing around in the water. Markas shook off his tunic as he walked to the edge. Fang ran up onto a rock that stuck out of the earth, it's rounded tip made a perfect place in which to dive off from into the cool water, which is exactly what Fang did. He barked as he ran up and howled as he jumped into the water, belly-flopping into the center of the splash war that had been going on.

 

The young halfling followed suit, doing a front flip before tucking his legs in and dropping into the water just behind where Fang landed. Giving the other boys a second wave of water to the face. Laughter and joy rose from the pond.

 

Tobin was much heavier then the other boys, but he was also a few summers older then the rest. His hound, Blackpaw, named so for his white fur but his front-right paw was pitch black was rather bulky for a riding hound. Larger then most, but much like Tobin, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But what Tobin and Blackpaw lacked in intelligence they made up for in loyal determination and strength.

 

Fellas was the quiet one, he was the middle one, older then Markas but younger then Tobin. Fellas' hound, Blue, named after the grey fur and his blue eyes, sat with him on the bank of the pond. They were quiet but they saw everything, Fellas had already proven himself to be the best marksman out of the young boys, both on foot and the back of a hound. He rarely spoke but when he did it was always truthful and kind. The Springleaf Twins, Gimble and Gramble were quite the opposite of Fellas, they were loud and loved to fight, especially with one another. identical in looks with the exception of a scar on Gramble's cheek where Gimble had struck him with a pinecone from his slingshot a few summers before. Their hounds were Rocky and Sparky, the former was a dark grey with a black chest and a white tuft of hair on his head and the latter bore a beautiful golden coat with a black streak down his spine that came from his chest, in the center was a white dot.

 

Markas popped his head up out of the water and gladly sucked air into his lungs, he laid back in the water and stared up at the orange sky. The water itself was cool and refreshing. He heard voices and splashing as the Springleaf Twins started to argue again, Fellas picked up Blue and walked up onto the rock to avoid being caught in the escalating shoving match between the two brothers.

 

Fang moved to the edge of the pond, his ear perked up as he heard something. He growled low as he stared at the woods. Markas heard it and looked up, "What do you see Fang?" He asked before swimming over quietly. Fang indicated a shrub over-looking the pond. Markas looked up at it, he picked up a rock and stood, "Gimble! Give us your slingshot." he said to the brothers, waving at Gimble to get his attention as he attempted to dunk his brother's face in the water. The orange-haired halfling noticed Markas and nodded, he tossed the slingshot at Markas who caught it deftly and loaded it with the rock.

 

"Show yourself whoever ya' are!" He shouted at the bush before spinning the sling around, he was a good shot with a sling. At that moment the stranger jumped up, his arms in the air to be seen clearly.

 

"Okay!" He shouted, it was a Human. Slender as if he hadn't eaten in days and he wore a torn tunic and breeches. "I am lost, I heard your voices and came to look and see if you could direct me to Waterdeep." He said loud enough for all the halfling boys to hear. Markas looked at Fang, the hound was still growling. Markas saw no lie in his words. But he was too late to see the other Humans descend from their hiding places around the pond, a burly Half-Orc lunged at Fellas and Blue, Markas turned quick and let off a snap shot that struck the Half-Orc in the forehead, laying him out. Then he felt himself pushed under and dragged up by the Human from the upper bank.

 

"Take the dogs, they're worth a fortune... an' the runts too." He said gesturing to the others. Then he felt a solid thwack on his head and darkness fell over his eyes.

 

When Markas woke he wasn't alone, he fumbled around in the dark to find the fleshy body of Tobin. Who was still breathing, Gramble was yelling as he pulled at the cage bars that held them all in. He was freezing, when the cloud in his mind cleared he looked up to see that the sun had gone and night had come. The smell of rank food filled the air, the camp the Bandit's were living in stank of rot and other unmentionable scents. Markas heard Fang's cries and saw that the pups were kept in all the individual cages. One bandit, the Half-Orc now with a bandaged head was trying to force Fang into the cage, Fang was fighting, he hated cages and was never kept in one in his life. From the scratches and bites on the Orc's arms Markas noticed that he ran into a similar problem with the other hounds, who now all barked, howled and growled at the Half-Orc.

 

"Get in there you little rat!" He growled through gritted teeth. Finally he gave up trying to push and instead stood and hauled off with a sharp kick to force Fang inside, Fang yelped in pain. Markas shot up to the bars. "HEY! Don't hurt my brother!" He yelled, "Why don't you pick on someone your size arse-face!" He screamed at the Half-Orc. The angry Orc shot his red eyes to Markas, he kicked the cage over. "He ain't yer' brother he's a feckin' mongrel." He growled in rage then walked away.

 

One of the bandits sitting by the fire spoke up, "Maybe we shouldn't be hurtin' the dogs..." He said, the Bandit that spoke to Markas back at the pond looked up from the pot of soup he was making over the fire. "These are Pawfoot Riding Dogs, they have special magic runes inlaid into their flesh before birth... they live as long as a Halfling and are far more durable then an average mongrel." He said angrily. "So shut yer' yap!" He bellowed at the other Bandit.

 

Markas growled, he hated being stuck in the cage but he noticed that since the Orc kicked over the cage they couldn't see the halflings. Markas turned to Tobin and whispered, "Alright, when I say so... we all put our backs to the roof of the cage and push on the floor with our feet." He instructed, Fellas spoke quietly. "What about Blue and the others?" He asked, a tone of fear and concern in his voice. Markas shook his head, he hated to admit it but he knew that they could not free the others and escape too.

 

Markas said nothing, he looked at Fellas. "We'll just have to hope they didn't carry us far from the camp and we can warn the Outriders fast enough that they can capture these bandits." He replied, much to Fellas' discontent. The young halflings face went white, he nodded silently and went along with the others. Markas could see that the rest shared much of Fellas' sorrow but Markas prayed to Tymora that they would be able to recover Fang and the others before they slipped away to the Black Markets of Waterdeep.

 

Markas inhaled deep and nodded, he put his back to the roof and began to push with all his strength on the floor of the cage. Their combined strength was sufficient enough to break the cage. Tobin and Gramble were the first out, followed by Tellas and Gimble. Markas was last and the first to be spotted. The Half-Orc yelled out as he saw Markas slip out of the cage.

 

"The runts are gettin' away!" He shouted as he raised his crossbow at Markas, but before he could fire a spear took him through the neck. The night air was filled with barking and howling of the Outrider's as they descended upon the camp. Grizz and Ripper leading the charge. Ripper leaped over the fire and tackled the leader of the Bandits, knocking him over the log they used to sit on. Asper and Willow came from the forest behind them, she held her staff over her head and long roots burst from the ground and clamped him down to the earth. One of the bandits raised a crossbow at her only to receive an arrow through the eye as Fellas' father, Quintas skirted the camp while straddling Hurk, the grey-brown mastiff.

 

Markas cheered as the rest of the bandits ran into the forest, chased after by the others, Tobin's father and Maryl, Gimble and Gramble's mother. Asper jumped from the back of Willow as the hound slid to a stop before them, she quickly took Markas up in a hug. Tobin and Fellas started smashing the locks on the cages to let out the dogs while Grizz stepped off Ripper's saddle and took up the spear offered by Quintas.

 

Laying face down in the door, the roots still holding him was the leader, Grizz knelt down beside him. "What is your name?" He asked firmly, The human chuckled and sighed. "Benjamin." He replied, Grizz nodded and stood, taking the spear up, a hand on the end and the tip aiming straight for Benjamin's head. "For the crime of stealing our children I sentence you to death... for the crime of stealing the pups.. I sentence you to death." He said coldly, Benjamin's eyes went white as he tried to plea with Grizz. "They were just mutts!" He said, hoping that it would stop Grizz from ending his life. It was a wasted effort.

Edited August 15, 2016 by Macman253

[wizardmirth]

Hi and thanks for sharing this! Here are just some thoughts:

 

It's when you said it's but meant its. Dog's when you said dogs. At this point its just flow, so its harder when even you have little hang ups like these. Also start with immediate protag action. Always. Some really clever writers can take a paragraph to start this up, but you have to be really pro, interesting beyond normal (normal here = generic author's normal), and smooth, much more than the average bystander might think. Always start with protag action just to be safe and only if its moving the plot,and then take like maybe half a graph to set up the scene if you can stand it.

 

Much of the descriptions are clean and to the point, so awesome job there, but the action is way too latent. Get it up there quicker and let bystander reactions (really anyone in the scene,even narrator) fill in details as you go.

 

Also I'm not sure but loosing consciousness might constitute more of a identifiable transition beyond the actual prose. Worst case this is just you breaking up the two moments (conscious and not) with an obvious line break like "***' or what have you.

 

Clean up dialogue formatting too by checking published examples == should be "he said" and not "He said" after an immediately referenced quote.