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Skyrim outrages Christian Web Site


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In a "Nutshell"

 

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"cream filled with demonic spell crafting" - hmm sounds delicious

 

"Satanic critters" - think about that the next time your dog pees on your rug

 

"fecal fornication" - i love that combination of words

 

"player starts off as a captured terrorist" - Dovah kin laden

 

"destroy the golden empire by using dragons" - tossed from a Dragon launching Ballista

 

"gender changing one’s self is fun and normal" - ..and easily doable

 

"control of their hell spawned fictitious demon" - as long as it does not pee on my rug....

 

"the gay supporting software company Blizzard" - at least they got that one right :) (just kidding of course)

 

"a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment" - bad Dragon bad!

 

"they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic" - also called "Tea Party"

 

"The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the player’s CPU monitor" - IF ONLY!!!!!!!

 

"When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations" - really...no comment on this one....its hilarious!

 

"demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session" - whoever wrote this...i salute you sir äh madam äh...whatever your Master want you to be!

 

"have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors" - we NEED this modded people :)

 

"all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs" - again MOD THIS!

 

"The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs" - we prefer the term "balls"

 

"this demonic grail of violent dragon porn" - yeah, yeah you like that don't you? bad bad alduin!

 

"the evil axis of consoles....such vile machines..will go against God and would send his soul to the fire pits of Hell" - PC Gamers have been telling this all the time!

 

"Skyrimming is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to the outer rim part of another man’s sewer spout, while that man is being hung upside down" - after that, I think i can never play Skyrim again without giggling!

 

"gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan" - speak of friends in "low" places.

 

"fecal fisting bandits" - yes...new faction. MOD IT NOW!

 

"Skyrim jobbing" - no not "jogging" you lazy ass nerds!

 

"Dragon Fisting" - ähm..depends on who is giving and who is receiving!

 

D – Dirty

O – Orifice

V – Violation

A – Always

H – Hurts

K – Keep

I – Injecting

I – It

N – Naiant

 

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This is by far the most entertaining article about a computergame I have ever read in my life! I love it!

Edited by Arcadiast
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