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Another rough day in the life of a vampire.


PileOGunz

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Its a hard life being a vampire in Skyrim the towns folk seem to regard it as a disease not a way of life and refuse to accept me. I've been a vampire for 99 days now and needed to vent after an exceptionally rough day.

 

I was out takeing part in my favourite past time of killing the guards in Morthal I've grown so powerfull now it really is just a game - slash throat, slash throat, oh hes spotted me - turn invisible, slash-throat its great fun and I was enjoying reveling in my superiority "I may have no friends but im practically a god!" I thought smugly to myself. That was untill a little girl came up to me "Would you like to play hide and seek ?" the little runt said. I was shocked at first why hadn't she insulted me like all the other brats do ? then I thought why not ? What chance does a little girl have at hide and seek vs a Vampire with mastery of sneak and expert level illusion magic, I'd just killed all the guards in Morthal !

 

I accepted the challenge and the brat came chasing after me. She was faster than anticipated, I panicked and casted invisibility but she kept coming ! its as if she could see me ! A guard came out of nowhere and I ran right into him and during the scuffle I was tagged... the shame must of caused the hunger to kick in because suddenly every tramp and ruffian in Morthal was after me "Burn the vampire scum, feast on his eyes! ". I had to get home !

 

I travelled to Whiterun as expected as soon as I entered that damn blacksmith and town guard charged at me sword swinging. If her wares wern't so good she would have been dead long ago. I turned invisible and made my way to my new home 'Breezehome' and the comfort of my wife. I called out "Darling, I'm home" thats when she lunged at me from behind with the kitchen knife ! the trecherouse dog jabbed me right in the knee. I casted pacify and she snapped back to her senses. I desperately needed blood so I went upstairs and greeted my faithfull companian Lydia who was waiting for me upstairs like usual. I commanded her to go sleep in my bed so I could drink and just as I was leaning over her the wife came in... She must of got the wrong idea as she lunged at me again ! Before I could stop her Lydia had slane her. "For gods sake that is it ! you're fired, your dead Lydia !" and I nearly beheaded her with one swift slash.

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Uhh sounds bad, i'm really glad i listened to my senses about vampires in skyrim, pretty much knew its gonna be totaly lame...would be cool to have some sort of hypnosis power as aoe effect, that you could cast in case of being chased by whole town...people would forget for about 5 sec whats going and in that time if you were able to hide...they would forget what happened completely.

 

Also force feed would be cool...its absolutely idiotic that the only way you can drink is when someone is sleeping...god bethesda totaly sucks in those things...its unapealing, uninteresting, unstylish and i dont know what else... :wallbash:

Edited by pavy
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For a first post this is an outstanding post. Thank you PileOGunz for making me smile. :thumbsup:

 

What Skyrim needs is a vampire mod that allows feeding during fights -some sort of grapple attack like in Vampire Bloodlines. I'm sure once the Creation Kit is released we will be swimming in vampire mods. :happy:

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I'd suggest a day in the life of a werewolf. :thumbsup:

That would be a wery fast writting of a story:

"So i transformed into a werewolf, thought i give it a try and go attack some village.

I get there, see already guards running towards me, i prepare myself for a good bloody fight, that will be fun!

Wait what!?...Dude, why is my hp going so quick down and yours not...im a F*king werewolf..a beast!...i should rip anyone apart!..wtf!

 

Quickload.

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