Stereotypes in Men.. uncalled for or accurate?

[sukeban]

Bwaha, verily this thread did crash straight through the "WTF" guardrail.

 

In any case, I remember taking a cognitive psych class and being told something along the lines of--stereotypes exist because the brain can't hang with all the information confronting it at any given time. That it's something like having multiple processors in your mind, some dealing with novel situations (requiring you to think) whilst others try and fit information into previously established categories, saving your mental gigahertz for better use. Most of the time this is fantastic--witness the quick reflexes pushing the pedal to the gas when the light turns green--other times, as in this instance... this is less true. Certainly, if people actually thought about all of their relationships, the world would be a much-improved place.

 

As for "real men" versus "

," I agree with Nintii.

 

And as far as working out is concerned, I will agree with the great Rick Owens: "Working out is modern couture. No outfit is going to make you look or feel as good as having a fit body. Buy less clothing and go to the gym instead." I run and cycle to feel--and hopefully to look--good. But I've no time for gym jocks trying to challenge me to lift weights or sweating me for wearing shorter shorts when I run. When the zombie apocalypse hits, we'll see who can outrun the reanimated undead :ninja:

 

EDIT:

 

Specific to the sentiment in one of the above posts: rappers can pop bottles and get models, this is true. Saudi Princes, Russian Oligarchs, and Derek Jeter can, too. But if it's your net worth or totally ripped abs or sexy Maserati, and not, say, your personality, that draws people to you... I don't envy you or begrudge you your models. The best part of this is that pretty people can have nice personalities, too! Personalities that are repelled by vanity, contemptuous of machismo and self-aggrandizement, and totally down with things that are actually cool.

Edited March 6, 2012 by sukeban

[BlackBaron2]

You fear what you don't understand or don't have.

 

A man is defined by their intelligence and physical strength.

 

Let me ask you both a question: have either of you gotten laid by a model of any sort before? You have both established the fact that either you are unhealthy, either fat or scrawny.

 

So now the question is, how much truth does the nerd stereotype hold?

 

That's a ridiculous way of defining what makes a "real man". I'm not remotely attracted to models. Not all guys are interested in the epitome of conventional attractiveness for either of the two primary genders. So you might meet many who have no interest in magazine-style bodies, or even those who don't experience physical attraction at all.

 

Having sex with a conventionally-attractive, binary-gendered, able-bodied, white person is not what makes somebody a "real man". What makes you a "real man" is on the inside. You know, identifying as male.

[Nintii]

I remember reading a "Men's only" magazine once ... one of the articles punted on the cover said something like this ... "What is a real man ?"

 

So I quickly flipped through the pages quite annoyed that I had to bypass all the hunks, their six packs and "..............." because of this annoying piece of bait of an article.

I wanted to see what guys thought a real man was ... LMAO ... directly under the main title in red it stated the following ...

 

"If you're reading this then you're NOT a real man because real men don't need to be told how to be real men, nor do thy read articles about being real men,

they're just are themselves - real men".

 

There's a lot of truth in that ... but I have a problem with guys propping themselves up with how fast their car is or how loud their sound system is or how many guys they beat up

or how many girls they've laid ... for me that's a real turn off.

 

Is it any wonder why women went nuts over a diaper ad that had a man holding a baby in his arms ... gentleness, strength under control get's many a woman's motor

running ... well ok he must also smell nice, brush his teeth, cut or comb his hair, lose the swearing, polish his shoes, ahahaha *that was kind of like sweet and sour*

first the alure of the romantic and then the crunch of reality.

[myrmaad]

Wow. you just reminded me..

 

When my husband and I started dating he was freshly divorced and had a two year old son. One summer day I watched him with his son and another on tricycles, he was so gentle and strong and fatherly, sunlit and golden and mellow and laughing. I knew I would love him forever.

[HeyYou]

Ok, let me see if I have this straight.

 

If I see my vehicle as anything other than a transportation appliance, I am compensating for something. (I have an appreciation for machinery. I don't drive a sports car because I doubt my 'manhood', I drove it because I LIKED it. Of course, now, in my dottage.... I have difficulties getting in/out of low-slung cars, so, I drive a 4 wheel drive truck.... I must be compensating for something.....)

 

If I like loud music, I am compensating for something. (I don't)

 

If I am promiscuous, I am compensating for something. (I'm not.)

 

If I work out, I am compensating for something...... (no, I don't do that either....)

 

Seems that no matter what you do, it is because you feel a lack in some area.... What a bunch of horse hockey. :D

[BlackBaron2]

I find that "compensating" nonsense really annoying too.

 

If I'm honest, I think inner toughness is the thing that matters, not a person's measurements. :P You get inner toughness by refusing to take nonsense, and not giving a damn what the neighbours think but doing the right thing instead.

[Nintii]

Ok, let me see if I have this straight.

 

If I see my vehicle as anything other than a transportation appliance, I am compensating for something. (I have an appreciation for machinery. I don't drive a sports car because I doubt my 'manhood', I drove it because I LIKED it. Of course, now, in my dottage.... I have difficulties getting in/out of low-slung cars, so, I drive a 4 wheel drive truck.... I must be compensating for something.....)

 

If I like loud music, I am compensating for something. (I don't)

 

If I am promiscuous, I am compensating for something. (I'm not.)

 

If I work out, I am compensating for something...... (no, I don't do that either....)

 

Seems that no matter what you do, it is because you feel a lack in some area.... What a bunch of horse hockey. :D

 

@ HeyYou ... no, not true at all you can do what you like with what you have, BUT IN CONTEXT, if that's what you do with what you have to "prove" or "validate"

your manhood then don't you think that's just a bit shallow ?

 

Example of the CONTEXT;

 

1) "Last week i had to install a second battery in my car because my new sound system ate through the first one like a hot knife through butter ... yeah sweetheart, i'm the man

check me out", ... this is the context in which I used this illustration, and this for me is a big turn off, because i'm not going to check anything out with you.

 

2) If it was purely, "Wow babe's last week i had to install a second car battery because this new sound system ate through the first one like a hot knife through butter", ... well

then that's different altogether.

 

I like to be driven in a fast car with loud music and I love :dance: and don't have a problem with a guy who likes these things either but if that is what he feels defines him as a

quote unquote man ... then he is unaware of all the richness of what really makes a man a man.

You know my entire perspective of males did a 180 degree turn after i attended a number of lectures on males and their manhood with another friend of mine ... now I don't

believe most of the stereotypical rubbish that is out there about males.

Here's the problem though, it's that males themselves have bought into the lie about who they are.

 

Also, as I've observed men, i have found that males in certain age groups display common characteristics and common behavoir, therefore I have "my" age range that I date

guys in, because I'm most likely to get the common demoninator that that age range offers.

 

Also my observation has been that in most cases, males who have been under authority lfor instance the military are "more mature" than guys their same age who have not

been under authority ... their goals and what defines them are completely different.

 

Dating a woman is different.

[HeyYou]

That was just a generalization, not aimed at anyone in particular. That just seems to be the way 'society' views men. Or, at least, folks that indulge in certain behaviors. (like owning fast cars, big trucks, loud stereos, etc.) Given what some of the folks with the stereo systems that cost more than the car listen to...... I can most certainly deal without that...... I don't particular care for getting a massage from the guy sitting next to me at the light subwoofers. :D Some of those guys go WAY overboard on that. Of course, they see my gas-hog pickup truck, and probably think the same thing about me.

 

I drove my hot rod/sports cars, because they suited me. I LIKED having a boatload of power on tap. I LIKED being able to take 25MPH corners at 70. I LIKED being able to cruise 140MPH on the freeway at 3:00AM. Bear in mind, I didn't drive like that ALL the time. For the most part, it WAS just transportation. Just transportation with character, and a really HUGE fun factor on tap. :D

 

I drive a truck now, because there are more of us in the family. (and I got tired of hearing the whining from the back seat of the Firebird. :D) I need cargo capacity, I will grant that the four wheel drive wasn't absolutely necessary, but, it's nice to be able to just jump in, and drive away, regardless of the weather. (not that snow has been much of an issue here this year.....)

 

I can't afford to own a vehicle for every purpose that I drive for. So, I need one that covers as much of the range as possible. Besides, I LIKE driving my truck. And not just ON the roads.

[nbbh1510]

I remember reading a "Men's only" magazine once ... one of the articles punted on the cover said something like this ... "What is a real man ?"

 

So I quickly flipped through the pages quite annoyed that I had to bypass all the hunks, their six packs and "..............." because of this annoying piece of bait of an article.

I wanted to see what guys thought a real man was ... LMAO ... directly under the main title in red it stated the following ...

 

"If you're reading this then you're NOT a real man because real men don't need to be told how to be real men, nor do thy read articles about being real men,

they're just are themselves - real men".

 

There's a lot of truth in that ... but I have a problem with guys propping themselves up with how fast their car is or how loud their sound system is or how many guys they beat up

or how many girls they've laid ... for me that's a real turn off.

 

Is it any wonder why women went nuts over a diaper ad that had a man holding a baby in his arms ... gentleness, strength under control get's many a woman's motor

running ... well ok he must also smell nice, brush his teeth, cut or comb his hair, lose the swearing, polish his shoes, ahahaha *that was kind of like sweet and sour*

first the alure of the romantic and then the crunch of reality.

 

 

You know what happens when you are gentle but look like a beast and ride a 1000CC death machine on two wheels?

 

Girls flock to you.

[Nintii]

Hmmm so you say big boy, so you say LOL :biggrin: :rolleyes: Edited March 8, 2012 by Nintii