Soul mates.

[Aoeworth]

As for my personal take on soulmates and meant to be etc etc et. al.

 

When I hear true love, mr/mrs right etc, I spew my guts out. Not because I don't love, or am not loved myself, nor a romantic. That kind of love is pure emotion (yes love is an emotion...not what I mean). Emotion as in, love you today because today I 'feel' it. Tomorrow I don't 'feel' it so now I don't love you.

 

*barf*

 

But hey, whatever your take is on it, that take is true for you, so don't listen to a bitter grinch like myself, hehe.

 

For me love grows. I've never trusted the huge emotional.. I LOVE her feeling, because after a few months....

 

Like...really like....kinda love....love.....really love....married. And when I got married, I didn't mentally base our marriage on my 'love' feeling. I based it on a contract. "I do, till death due us part" Finish. End of Story. No ifs or buts. She is my wife till hell freezes over. "for better or worse" funny how lots of people forget about the second part of that phrase.

 

The other position I take is, love IS sacrifice. You give up yourself for the other (and the kiddies that may follow). I know, if she's not happy, there is no way in hell I'm going to be happy :D (and vice versa...kinda... ^^) If you think that is tough, then I don't think you're ready to be married (just my opinion)

 

I live in a place with HEAPS of eyecandy. hmmm, but I think of the trade off. 30 sec of pleasure with someone who doesn't care that I'm married (great start already) and a lifetime of DOH, not the best investment of 30 sec. (yes I'm a quick finisher, haha)

 

Well, that's my piece, probably did a scattergun approach to it and is totally confusing ^^.

[Necromancer G]

Ive replied to this a couple of times and finally this maybe the last time

 

 

"I will sacrifice anything and everything for her...even my own life" Me

 

Of course I havent found "her" yet

[maYuYang]

Imo, Soul Mates are supposed to complete each other. Thus I really believe into this even though I'm not religious at all(which I think doesn't matter at this point).

I propably was quite lucky to find my soul mate already(and yes, we are married^^ Yay^^), one of my best friends however is one of those girls who falls in love with the wrong person all the time(in her case guys since she's straight). I think that finding the "one and only" can be destiny, but is no necessity(I'm 100% sure that in my case it was destiny) . So some ppl have to literly search for their love and it might take one's entire life to be successful...

I'm not sure if guys feel the same, but a woman's feelings can be extremely strong and most of the time confusing herself(If I think of the nonsense I sometimes did, oh my...)

[Javalin]

I personally don't believe it.

 

Reasons being:

 

1. Most relationships go horribly wrong after about 3 months.

2. People tend to fall out of love faster than they fall in love (LOL)

3. Marraiges don't often go past 20 years (Tops)

4. Somebody may feel that they don't love the other anymore.

 

--

 

How many relationships have you seen last a complete lifetime?

 

The Story of my Grandparents,,

 

They are both in their first relationship, and have been married for over 50 years. My Grandad being 73, My Gran 71. They've been together for 55 years at least.

 

 

How many relationships do you know have been as solid as that? Hmm

[dezdimona]

I personally don't believe it.

 

Reasons being:

 

1. Most relationships go horribly wrong after about 3 months.

2. People tend to fall out of love faster than they fall in love (LOL)

3. Marraiges don't often go past 20 years (Tops)

4. Somebody may feel that they don't love the other anymore.

 

--

 

How many relationships have you seen last a complete lifetime?

 

The Story of my Grandparents,,

 

They are both in their first relationship, and have been married for over 50 years. My Grandad being 73, My Gran 71. They've been together for 55 years at least.

 

 

How many relationships do you know have been as solid as that? Hmm

 

My granparents-55 yrs

my parents-34 years

A marriage is what you make it.love outlasts problems and strife. If it's worth having, it's worth working at it to keep it!!!!

[maYuYang]

My granparents-55 yrs

my parents-34 years

A marriage is what you make it.love outlasts problems and strife. If it's worth having, it's worth working at it to keep it!!!!

 

Well Said Dezdimona^^. I think so too!!!!

[gandalftw]

Well, einhander888. So, this has just been a bit of a laugh for you, then. Just a bit more of your party, party, party lifestyle for us to share, and take delight in.

 

Guess what , mate? Some of us took time out from our own, rather more pressing concerns, to try to alleviate yours. Some of us were a little concerned that, soon after you posted to this thread of yours, last, you just disappeared. And that , considering the premise of this thread, and how important it seemed to be to you to get some honest answers, your disappearing like that might just suggest that you were having difficulty. And that you might appreciate some support.

 

But you didnt, did you party boy? So... the rest of us were just mugs to fall for this , really, werent we?

No. Actually, no. We were guilty , only, of being people who have some sensitivity to the plight of another.

 

You are the mug. You are the mug with his head so far us his arse that he cant see that if one posts something like this , and in the way that you did, with seeming sincerity, that you had better be just that sincere.

 

So...party on dude. But you had better not plan on catching fire real soon. Because I , for one, would not piss on you to put out the flames.

You were right on bro and you didn't have to flame him to get your point across.

My ex and i couldn't get along in marriage either and we had to divorce but i would never demean my ex the way he did his in his in his last post.Unconscionable....

 

Getting back to what the topic has become;I don't believe in soul-mates but i do believe that when a couple,that knows who they

are,meets they are more likely to be able to answer the question of compatibility.There must be no pretending to impress the other for all that does is to give the illusion of compatibility.Then one day you wake up and discover you don't know this person at all or you become tired of being what your partner wants you to be.It seems to me that couples need to mesh psychologically.That is,one partner needs to have traits or abilities that the other is lacking and that can be appreciated in this rpg called life.One needs to be strong when the other is weak,roles need to be exchangeable and balanced instead of static and imbalanced to give the couple that feeling of wholeness that is so important to the continuation of any relationship.An indication of wholeness could be described as feeling fine on ones own but when together the world just seems more complete,more manageable.The feeling that one has found a soul-mate must be akin to a spiritual experience and i can clearly see how that accomplishment could impart to those couples a feeling of fate and i envy those that have had this experience.Peace...

[Lisnpuppy]

Well, einhander888. So, this has just been a bit of a laugh for you, then. Just a bit more of your party, party, party lifestyle for us to share, and take delight in.

 

Guess what , mate? Some of us took time out from our own, rather more pressing concerns, to try to alleviate yours. Some of us were a little concerned that, soon after you posted to this thread of yours, last, you just disappeared. And that , considering the premise of this thread, and how important it seemed to be to you to get some honest answers, your disappearing like that might just suggest that you were having difficulty. And that you might appreciate some support.

 

But you didnt, did you party boy? So... the rest of us were just mugs to fall for this , really, werent we?

No. Actually, no. We were guilty , only, of being people who have some sensitivity to the plight of another.

 

You are the mug. You are the mug with his head so far us his arse that he cant see that if one posts something like this , and in the way that you did, with seeming sincerity, that you had better be just that sincere.

 

So...party on dude. But you had better not plan on catching fire real soon. Because I , for one, would not piss on you to put out the flames.

You were right on bro and you didn't have to flame him to get your point across.

My ex and i couldn't get along in marriage either and we had to divorce but i would never demean my ex the way he did his in his in his last post.Unconscionable....

 

Getting back to what the topic has become;I don't believe in soul-mates but i do believe that when a couple,that knows who they

are,meets they are more likely to be able to answer the question of compatibility.There must be no pretending to impress the other for all that does is to give the illusion of compatibility.Then one day you wake up and discover you don't know this person at all or you become tired of being what your partner wants you to be.It seems to me that couples need to mesh psychologically.That is,one partner needs to have traits or abilities that the other is lacking and that can be appreciated in this rpg called life.One needs to be strong when the other is weak,roles need to be exchangeable and balanced instead of static and imbalanced to give the couple that feeling of wholeness that is so important to the continuation of any relationship.An indication of wholeness could be described as feeling fine on ones own but when together the world just seems more complete,more manageable.The feeling that one has found a soul-mate must be akin to a spiritual experience and i can clearly see how that accomplishment could impart to those couples a feeling of fate and i envy those that have had this experience.Peace...

 

No offence to you G, but I dont know why this thread was ever resurrected. And Chesto posted that like...almost 3 mos ago. I am not sure Ein has been back for almost that long...though not becasue of that post.

 

And everyone can thing what they will about this topic. But I can tell you from experience...love ain't enough...you have to WORK at a relationship.

[gandalftw]

No offence to you G, but I dont know why this thread was ever resurrected. And Chesto posted that like...almost 3 mos ago. I am not sure Ein has been back for almost that long...though not becasue of that post.

 

And everyone can thing what they will about this topic. But I can tell you from experience...love ain't enough...you have to WORK at a relationship.

No offence taken.I had seen this topic for some time but never checked it out.I usually click,view new posts and today there it was so i decided to read what everyone had to say.Wasn't planning to post at all as i'm not entirely comfortable posting,really.

I knew that Chesto posted that some time ago but felt that he quite elegantly made his feelings known to the young fellow.Hope he read it for it might cause him to think a bit.

 

 

Of course a relationship has to be continually worked on but every relationship is different in the amount of work to be done.My wife and i were 19 when married and 24 when divorced.We were pretenders.We became what we thought the other was looking for or at least attempted to.

We were both too inexperienced in life, our roles were reflections of our parents and society.We were both too selfish for the give and take of a relationship.Having both come from dysfunctional families only added to the work we needed to do.Our life experience was all we had to go on and it wasn't enough.Some couples tend to mesh better than others do,i believe,and those couples come into their relationship with the ability and experience needed to form a long lasting relationship.Like you they know that it requires work.

I'll shut up now and allow this topic to rest in peace.Don't know what got into me. :wink: