Bullying

[pseudobio]

Being disabled from birth due to a stroke, I have several paralyzed limbs (right arm and right leg), so fighting back against the physical bullies was never an option, but those who were verbal harrassers were easily put in place with a comment that made them look like the fools they were. Since no one in school was willing to protect the disabled outsiders, I simply had to put up with having my head pushed back against a wall, or almost put through a wire-mesh windowpane by the physical bullies. Perhaps it is a good thing I have several paralyzed limbs, because I probably would have put those physical bullies in the hospital had I had the ability to fight back.

[IndorilTheGreat]

Being disabled from birth due to a stroke, I have several paralyzed limbs (right arm and right leg), so fighting back against the physical bullies was never an option, but those who were verbal harrassers were easily put in place with a comment that made them look like the fools they were. Since no one in school was willing to protect the disabled outsiders, I simply had to put up with having my head pushed back against a wall, or almost put through a wire-mesh windowpane by the physical bullies. Perhaps it is a good thing I have several paralyzed limbs, because I probably would have put those physical bullies in the hospital had I had the ability to fight back.

 

Jeez... in my school, anyone that picked on someone who was disabled was immediately excommunicated from everyone else, and labeled a "massive (insert horrible descriptive noun here)" for the rest of the time they were at that school.

 

Heck there was a kid who made fun of someone in a wheelchair for not being able to walk since birth, and he (the bully) actually transferred to a different school because everyone hated him since that day.

 

Good riddance, I say.

[BlackBaron2]

Well, my tormentors in high school were the kind that probably did torment stray animals. That's partly why I'm such a hot mess right now.

[HeyYou]

I went out of my way to make bullies feel shallow, when i was in school. I got in fights with bullies in school, i didn't like the idea of bullies. All the "nerds" and "outsiders" were my friends.

 

So, in a way, you were actively (and knowingly) participating in a form of bullying.

 

Not that they didn't get what they deserved, it just seems that "an eye for an eye" is not the right thing to to in a situation like that.

 

As for being bullied... I've taken martial arts since I was 8 years old, which helped me practice self-discipline. If someone was making fun of me (or "verbal bullying"), I would sit there for a minute, analyze what they said, and either respond as if it were a normal conversation, or just looked at them until they went away.

 

In high school, a prominent bully from middle school came up to me one day, and I was expecting a long drawn-out stare-down, but he actually walked up to me and apologized for being a jerk all those years ago.

 

I always find it really odd to see someone you know visibly mature over the years. It's nice, but odd, nonetheless.

 

Good grief... I feel old. :ohdear:

 

 

Reason for edit: Grammatical error fixed

 

Why not? Seems perfectly reasonable to me. If the bully is well aware that there is indeed someone out there watching out for his/her potential victims, and has demonstrated that bullying is not acceptable, and can bring on unpleasant consequences, to the point it deters the behavior, where is the problem? Kinda like training your dog NOT to do something..... the whole "If I do X, then "something bad" happens."... If you want to avoid the something bad, don't do X behavior. Simple.

 

Call it deterrence.... or aversion therapy. And, I wouldn't go an eye for an eye, I think it would be more like an eye, an arm, and a leg, for an eye.

Edited May 19, 2012 by HeyYou

[IndorilTheGreat]

I went out of my way to make bullies feel shallow, when i was in school. I got in fights with bullies in school, i didn't like the idea of bullies. All the "nerds" and "outsiders" were my friends.

 

So, in a way, you were actively (and knowingly) participating in a form of bullying.

 

Not that they didn't get what they deserved, it just seems that "an eye for an eye" is not the right thing to to in a situation like that.

 

As for being bullied... I've taken martial arts since I was 8 years old, which helped me practice self-discipline. If someone was making fun of me (or "verbal bullying"), I would sit there for a minute, analyze what they said, and either respond as if it were a normal conversation, or just looked at them until they went away.

 

In high school, a prominent bully from middle school came up to me one day, and I was expecting a long drawn-out stare-down, but he actually walked up to me and apologized for being a jerk all those years ago.

 

I always find it really odd to see someone you know visibly mature over the years. It's nice, but odd, nonetheless.

 

Good grief... I feel old. :ohdear:

 

 

Reason for edit: Grammatical error fixed

 

Why not? Seems perfectly reasonable to me. If the bully is well aware that there is indeed someone out there watching out for his/her potential victims, and has demonstrated that bullying is not acceptable, and can bring on unpleasant consequences, to the point it deters the behavior, where is the problem? Kinda like training your dog NOT to do something..... the whole "If I do X, then "something bad" happens."... If you want to avoid the something bad, don't do X behavior. Simple.

 

Call it deterrence.... or aversion therapy. And, I wouldn't go an eye for an eye, I think it would be more like an eye, an arm, and a leg, for an eye.

 

Very true; it is a form of response behavior/training. However, one should not actively seek to put a troublemaker in their place. I speak from experience.

 

I had a really good friend in middle school; one of my best friends, in fact. When he heard about his friends (and myself) getting bullied, he decided to do something about it. So, he challenged each and every one of them to a fight. Of course, they took him up on the offer. So, he went around abusing his knowledge of martial arts, and whooped the bullies within the first minute of the fight. If there's one thing bullies like better than confidence, it's the ability to showboat, and so that's what he did. He got too full of himself.

 

Soon, he thought himself "above" the rest of us, and actually joined in with the band of bullies. Needless to say, things only got worse from there. He wouldn't even need to hurt people, he would just threaten to hurt them, since everyone knew what he did to the bullies, and what he could do to them.

 

I lost a good friend that day, and learned that you should not attempt to be a vigilante when it comes to the safety of those close to you, as all of those emotions can be turned against you.

 

Now, I'm not saying that no one should defend themselves. If someone comes up and starts harassing you, defend yourself in some way (whether it be reporting them, or fighting in self-defense). I'm simply saying that you shouldn't take the fight to them. That makes you no better than they are; singling out and targeting a specific group of people.

[HeyYou]

That's all about personality. I had always thought that part of the martial arts training was self-discipline..... seems that part didn't stick with your friend. I know folks that have stood up to bullys, even though they were not the ones being bullied..... they did not 'turn to the dark side' as it were..... vigilantism certainly isn't the best option, but, sometimes, that is all your are left with. In my experience, the bullies have more rights to get away with what they are doing, than school authorities do to stop/prevent it. There are also those in the schools that simply choose to ignore it, as THEY are not the ones with the problem.... and it is 'too much trouble' to actually DO something. Not to mention its getting legally dangerous to do so. (and has been for the last decade or so.....)

[IndorilTheGreat]

That's all about personality. I had always thought that part of the martial arts training was self-discipline..... seems that part didn't stick with your friend. I know folks that have stood up to bullys, even though they were not the ones being bullied..... they did not 'turn to the dark side' as it were..... vigilantism certainly isn't the best option, but, sometimes, that is all your are left with. In my experience, the bullies have more rights to get away with what they are doing, than school authorities do to stop/prevent it. There are also those in the schools that simply choose to ignore it, as THEY are not the ones with the problem.... and it is 'too much trouble' to actually DO something. Not to mention its getting legally dangerous to do so. (and has been for the last decade or so.....)

 

I think we're talking about the same thing here, just not quite in the "same dimension," if you will.

 

People should indeed stand up to bullies, since god-knows the school system won't do it. Parents will try to help, but of course, they need to go through the school system first (that or the media, but that usually just brings more trouble than it's worth). Self defense and sticking up for someone is how humanity should work; unfortunately people tend to care about themselves first, and others last.

 

What I'm getting at here, is that one should not actively seek out vengeance. When your head gets clouded with emotions such as anger and the revenge (I know, I know; it sounds like I'm quoting Star Wars), you make irrational decisions. When you make irrational decisions, those around you can very easily get hurt.

 

The "Jedism" talk aside, if you want to stand up for an ideal, stand up for it; don't lunge for it.

 

 

Reason for edit: The "P" in "parents" wasn't capitalized, and it was bugging the crap out of me.

Edited May 19, 2012 by IndorilTheGreat

[HeyYou]

That's all about personality. I had always thought that part of the martial arts training was self-discipline..... seems that part didn't stick with your friend. I know folks that have stood up to bullys, even though they were not the ones being bullied..... they did not 'turn to the dark side' as it were..... vigilantism certainly isn't the best option, but, sometimes, that is all your are left with. In my experience, the bullies have more rights to get away with what they are doing, than school authorities do to stop/prevent it. There are also those in the schools that simply choose to ignore it, as THEY are not the ones with the problem.... and it is 'too much trouble' to actually DO something. Not to mention its getting legally dangerous to do so. (and has been for the last decade or so.....)

 

I think we're talking about the same thing here, just not quite in the "same dimension," if you will.

 

People should indeed stand up to bullies, since god-knows the school system won't do it. Parents will try to help, but of course, they need to go through the school system first (that or the media, but that usually just brings more trouble than it's worth). Self defense and sticking up for someone is how humanity should work; unfortunately people tend to care about themselves first, and others last.

 

What I'm getting at here, is that one should not actively seek out vengeance. When your head gets clouded with emotions such as anger and the revenge (I know, I know; it sounds like I'm quoting Star Wars), you make irrational decisions. When you make irrational decisions, those around you can very easily get hurt.

 

The "Jedism" talk aside, if you want to stand up for an ideal, stand up for it; don't lunge for it.

 

 

Reason for edit: The "P" in "parents" wasn't capitalized, and it was bugging the crap out of me.

 

Yeah, I think you and I are on the same page. :D

[Nintii]

Bullying is a sure sign that the person in question suffers from irrational mental behaviour, now I didn't say that they were mad or crazy they just rely or live on wrong information and experience.

Their greed for the irrational emotional satisfaction they receive has so seared their conscience that for many of them it has ensured they remain victims, weak and addicted to their actions.

Controlled by a false sense of superiority and pride ... they in all probability are emotionally immature - which can be fixed - and socially inept.

 

Once I see this in them I simply refuse to engage them at all ... I will not feed them ... left to their own devices they normally become emotional wrecks and live in fantasy, a dark horror fantasy where

they become the slaves to their polluted psyche.

 

I once took my brother's baseball bat to rid myself of one of them that I could actually see ...