Top ten reasons a zombie apocalypse would fail

[SubjectProphet]

I decided to ease everyone's minds by posting a thread on how impossible a zombie apocalypse is. So, look at every zombie horror movie and tell me, how do the zombies flood the streets and most of the world is?

 

 

10: Biting is an absolute horrible way to spread a virus

 

Rabies is technically a zombie virus to animals. It is spread by biting. Which is why it fails to infect EVERYTHING. You see, a zombie would have to get close to us to bite us, but we'd keep them at bay, far, FAR away from us. How would they bite us and spread the virus is someone isn't close to the zombie? And if a zombie is in a crowd, unlike in zombie movies, if someone saw someone eating everyone, he'd do something, wouldn't he? The man eating monster would die in seconds.

 

9: The disease control centers

 

When China recieved that one virus, their disease control teams quickly reacted. They destroyed the virus and very few people died, even though many people there were infected, they were cured. These teams would change from annoying to heros. They would evac population and devolop cures, along with control the virus in locked down areas.

 

8: Martial Law

 

Martial Law is a brutal stage of lockdown, and this would be deployed in the event of zombies. They would quickly lock down the city with the virus and kill every zombie, and the soldiers would be in vehicles and on top of walls, so the zombies wouldn't be able to spread the infection.

 

7: Dead tissue cannot reanimate

 

Even if you're saying "Hmph, spirits don't exist," I'm not saying anything about a spirit. Once someone is dead, every body part shuts down and can never restart. Reviving can only be done within 5 minutes of death, otherwise the heart will not beat and the body will forever be dead. So, basically, this reason is the main reason it's impossible for a zombie apocalypse.

 

6: Dead tissue won't heal

 

So, even if dead tissue could reanimate, it couldn't heal wounds. If a zombie breaks a bone, they lose a body part. If a zombie loses it's teeth, it can never bite again. A zombie would be useless if it's as clumsy as it it in movies, getting cuts and broken bones but somehow in these movies, they all just remain alive. A zombie would die in at least a day after coming back.

 

5: The heat

 

Humans can cool themselves, but if a zombie can't and stays in a desert for a long time, they'd melt or simply die from heat. On top of the fact they probably won't drink anything, so they'd sweat what they need out and die. A zombie couldn't go to Texas or Afghan without dying.

 

4: The cold

 

A human dies faster from cold then from heat, mainly because the cold is very deadly. It freezes the body because 90% of you is water. So the cold, within 8-12 hours of being in a blizzard, would freeze up, stop moving, and die. Ever notice how it's hard to move some body parts when you're in the cold for a long time? Because your blood is freezing and your body is freezing. The numbness follows, and you can't move that body part anymore. In -15 degrees F, you'd die being outside for around 3 hours even when wearing a lot of clothing.

 

3: Mother Nature

 

Humans aren't top of the food chain because we're hard to kill, we're fairly easy to kil. VERY easy. We just kill EVERYTHING. We have hunting limits because if we didn't, within a month humans would be the only species left. We'd also have a long supply of food. But anyway, if we didn't hunt with our weapons, animals would be hunting US, and we wouldn't be close to the top of the chain. A bear can take out a heavily armed human even if the human fires several shots into the animal. Basically, zombies would die quickly to animals. Africa would be a huge area for zombie hunting, and the animals would be saving us.

 

2: Vaccines

 

Every major virus that could kill all of hummanity has been provided a cure becuase we research the virus and easily overcome it, creating a vaccine and deploying it. We've had diseases mutate due to our cure, but we only improve our cure. We're still here even though we have deadly illnesses out there.

 

 

Grand number 1: Gun owners and militaries

 

So, where the hell is the air force in all the zombie flicks? Did they magically disappear? They would be able to deploy a helo over an entire group of zombies and just use miniguns to shred through the lines. MOABs and Nukes are another matter. Humans have weapondry that could blow the Earth up in hours. We could use nukes and just remove all of Europe and Asia from the Earth. Our guns are another factor, shoot a zombie before it bites you. And with 81% of Americans owning guns, I doubt a country would fall quickly to zombies, if they don't at all.

 

 

 

So I just provided reasons why we can't suffer from a zombie apocalypse. And only 10.

Edited May 31, 2012 by SubjectProphet

[Thor.]

Space zombies from mars, its gonna happen :teehee:

[Vagrant0]

I think you're assuming too much the classic instance of zombies.

 

2, 9 and 10: Which is why it would probably have to be an air-born disease or other reactant for it to even become an issue. An air-born disease with a reasonably long incubation period could quickly explode to epidemic proportions. With a fast spreading disease and delayed response, vaccines or cures wouldn't be made in time even if one could be worked out. It may not take more than a few days to make an initial batch of a vaccine, but the production of thousands and thousands of batches in order to cure or prevent infection for the millions being exposed worldwide would overwhelm most production centers. And that's if the virus doesn't mutate along the way or a good source sample can be obtained. Making a workable treatment for something new can take months... Look at how slow we were able to react to a few scares of smallpox about 10 years back. Even the various strains of flu that come around can lead to significant shortages, and we're expecting those. If it gets out of control and we don't see it, yeah, we're kinda SoL.

 

8 and 1: If martial law is declared, civilians who are armed would be more of a liability than a benefit. You may think that you and your circle of gun-toting badasses are level-headed, but chances are that when all hell breaks loose most everyone else will end up shooting the first thing that moves. Worse still, some may use that chance to decide to use the chaos to loot, cause damage to property, or kill off people they may have grudges with. Meaning that the first act of the military would be to seize arms from civilians or give field promotions to those few who are actually able to provide assistance. And of course, given the way that any military is and how martial law pretty much gives them unlimited rights, there would be those who eventually abuse this power for their own pleasure/benefit. Gitmo isn't the only instance where human rights were violated simply for the hell of it. The zombies would be the lesser threat and wouldn't have to lift a decaying finger to tear apart society... we would have that pretty well covered even without them.

 

6 and 7: Technically yes... But also kinda no. Some forms of cancer have been shown to continue growing even after death. There have also been some other diseases which are able to maintain some level of neural activity after death. Really though, it doesn't matter if the disease is air born since the host really isn't needed much longer past the initial incubation period and any movement or residual activity is merely inconsequential, rendering points 3, 4, and 5 rather moot.

 

Or we can just sum all this up and say that while movie zombies might not ever happen, we're pretty much screwed if a major viral outbreak starts up and we don't actually need the zombies to cause a problem afterall.

[Syco21]

I decided to ease everyone's minds by posting a thread on how impossible a zombie apocalypse is. So, look at every zombie horror movie and tell me, how do the zombies flood the streets and most of the world is?

Let me start off by saying; you took my thread waaaay too seriously. For realz yo.:laugh:

 

3: Mother Nature

 

Humans aren't top of the food chain because we're hard to kill, we're fairly easy to kil. VERY easy. We just kill EVERYTHING. We have hunting limits because if we didn't, within a month humans would be the only species left. We'd also have a long supply of food. But anyway, if we didn't hunt with our weapons, animals would be hunting US, and we wouldn't be close to the top of the chain. A bear can take out a heavily armed human even if the human fires several shots into the animal. Basically, zombies would die quickly to animals. Africa would be a huge area for zombie hunting, and the animals would be saving us.

Except the animals might end up infected themselves and they would be able to transmit the virus to other people. They would do more harm than good if the virus is transmittable to animals and back to people.

 

8 and 1: If martial law is declared, civilians who are armed would be more of a liability than a benefit. You may think that you and your circle of gun-toting badasses are level-headed, but chances are that when all hell breaks loose most everyone else will end up shooting the first thing that moves. Worse still, some may use that chance to decide to use the chaos to loot, cause damage to property, or kill off people they may have grudges with.

You're wrong. During Katrina, martial law was enacted and guns were confiscated. But not all guns were confiscated and there were armed men and women patrolling their neighborhoods. There were people during this time that were indiscriminately killing others, but they were all police officers. :wink:

 

Likewise during the LA riots, when the Asian populace decided they had enough with the looters vandalizing and stealing their property, they broke out their guns. But they didn't go around opening fire on anything that moved.They were level headed and kept cool for the most part.

[SubjectProphet]

I think you're assuming too much the classic instance of zombies.

 

2, 9 and 10: Which is why it would probably have to be an air-born disease or other reactant for it to even become an issue. An air-born disease with a reasonably long incubation period could quickly explode to epidemic proportions. With a fast spreading disease and delayed response, vaccines or cures wouldn't be made in time even if one could be worked out. It may not take more than a few days to make an initial batch of a vaccine, but the production of thousands and thousands of batches in order to cure or prevent infection for the millions being exposed worldwide would overwhelm most production centers. And that's if the virus doesn't mutate along the way or a good source sample can be obtained. Making a workable treatment for something new can take months... Look at how slow we were able to react to a few scares of smallpox about 10 years back. Even the various strains of flu that come around can lead to significant shortages, and we're expecting those. If it gets out of control and we don't see it, yeah, we're kinda SoL.

 

8 and 1: If martial law is declared, civilians who are armed would be more of a liability than a benefit. You may think that you and your circle of gun-toting badasses are level-headed, but chances are that when all hell breaks loose most everyone else will end up shooting the first thing that moves. Worse still, some may use that chance to decide to use the chaos to loot, cause damage to property, or kill off people they may have grudges with. Meaning that the first act of the military would be to seize arms from civilians or give field promotions to those few who are actually able to provide assistance. And of course, given the way that any military is and how martial law pretty much gives them unlimited rights, there would be those who eventually abuse this power for their own pleasure/benefit. Gitmo isn't the only instance where human rights were violated simply for the hell of it. The zombies would be the lesser threat and wouldn't have to lift a decaying finger to tear apart society... we would have that pretty well covered even without them.

 

6 and 7: Technically yes... But also kinda no. Some forms of cancer have been shown to continue growing even after death. There have also been some other diseases which are able to maintain some level of neural activity after death. Really though, it doesn't matter if the disease is air born since the host really isn't needed much longer past the initial incubation period and any movement or residual activity is merely inconsequential, rendering points 3, 4, and 5 rather moot.

 

Or we can just sum all this up and say that while movie zombies might not ever happen, we're pretty much screwed if a major viral outbreak starts up and we don't actually need the zombies to cause a problem afterall.

 

I was only focussed on a zombie outbreak for movies. But if the zombies aren't undead but just infected from a virus that gives superhuman strength, we'd still have the chance to survive.

 

 

 

And Syco, this isn't about only your thread, this topic is flooding the internet.

[marharth]

No one actually thinks there is going to be a zombie apocalypse, they are just joking about it.

 

Although I think I will reply anyways.

 

10. Could be walking dead style, where it is airborn and triggers when you die.

 

9. CDC centers only work if a few people are infected in one area. If you have the virus widely spread quickly, a CDC center won't help at all.

 

8. People wouldn't take that lightly, and would probably make things worse. People would just riot and more people would end up dying.

 

7. That isn't really known for sure. Either way, walking dead style. You reanimate a minute or so after you die.

 

6. The virus could cause metabolism to drastically slow, decreasing blood flood and decreasing the food requirements.

 

5. Zombies probably wouldn't be in hot areas, since humans wouldn't stay alive in hot areas for long due to bad vegetation and lack of hunting.

 

4. It might start just after winter, in that case a entire year might be enough time for a entire apocalypse.

 

3. The virus could spread to some animals as well.

 

2. If it spreads quickly, won't be enough time.

 

1. Everyone doesn't always have a gun at all times. Most people do not. Just because you have a gun in your house, does not mean you won't be infected outside of your house.

[Yoshh]

this topic is flooding the internet.

 

Because people are stupid and have lively imaginations. That's what loads of zombie movies do to your head.

[ginnyfizz]

I knew something must be causing it...

 

I asked in another topic what this obsession with zombies was all about and why even cowboy games like Red Dead Redemption have to have them.

[saadus]

lol read World War Z. Explains it all lmao.

 

Other then that, nah, I don't honestly believe a zombie apocalypse will happen (even through the majority of people deserve it to happen). As for my katanas, they are for practice (yes, I practice with actual blades and they are razor sharp). Guns, for anyone stupid enough to try and sneak away with my tv in the middle of the night. =P Hasn't happened yet thankfully.

[Vagrant0]

I knew something must be causing it...

 

I asked in another topic what this obsession with zombies was all about and why even cowboy games like Red Dead Redemption have to have them.

Because they're usually slow moving, simple, human-like, and you can mow them down by the dozen without anyone caring. Essentially they make good action/horror movie fodder.