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Ending or taking over the World


Necromancer G

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i'll take weapons developmant or military.side note. the zombies like peanut butter and are immune to all types of radiation all they do is grow extra limbs which is not a bad thing.one other thing.the candy also effects animals so i think we should consider the possibilaty of an animal zombie army
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Rhs88, I am shocked. SHOCKED. I have not felt so betrayed since it turned out that that guy who runs through here laughing has a better salary than me. That was, unfortunately for him, during my poisoned bear trap phase. The laughing was a lot more strained that month, and that's all i'm saying. Anywhoo, on the dual occult/snackfood front, I've managed to get some friendly (yet evil) demons to infest some of the popcorn, and ectoplasmic baguette production is up by 4.76%. However, Josh900, could you PLEASE stop your undead minions opening my summoning portals. It takes ages to reset the runes, and the zombies have taken to drawing smiley faces in the powdered dragonskull dust, and you KNOW i have to order that specially from the middle ages! I tell you, the tax on ordering things from the past is simply ridiculous. Its not like there's a recession in the 1600s...... (checks, sees 'plague' and 'fire') Hey, guys these folks really know how to throw a party!!

 

Also, humanbean, don't forget to pay the gas bill tomorrow, as I'm really using the incenerators alot lately...

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Rhs88, I am shocked. SHOCKED. I have not felt so betrayed since it turned out that that guy who runs through here laughing has a better salary than me.

 

Does anyone remember Tammy? The girl who used to work in Human Resources, up until your aforementioned bear-trap incident? She thought 'knock-knock' jokes were hysterically funny, and when Laughing Boy had his interview with her... well... she thought he was seriously flirting with her. That's how he wound up with a salary that big, and Tammy following him around for a while until she stepped in one of your traps.

 

Also, humanbean, don't forget to pay the gas bill tomorrow, as I'm really using the incenerators alot lately...

 

What gas bill? We've been holding the meter-guy's daughter in cell 58 for months, now.

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To be fair, do we really want to employ any non-zombie who doesn't notice bear traps because they're in love with LAUGHING BOY (sorry, were in love mwahahaahaahaaaaa)? It's just like that Gary guy, remember, the one from maintenance who was like 'yeah, i can totalllllllly jump the volcano crater on a dirt bike' and we were still cleaning bits of charred Gary out of conference room one and the rec room AND the visitors suite for at least 4 months. That's why we had to introduce the basic IQ test for our grunt enrolment scheme and, interestingly, why we now have to provide a vegetarian option in the canteen.

 

Oh, she's the girl in 58. I thought that was the daughter of that mining company's CEO...... So where did she go? Well, as long as they keep supplying us with uranium we should be fine.

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Wait, wait, wait... That was GARY who I was scraping off the walls? Aw, man, that's such a bummer! I've known Gary since Henchman-Camp '87! Still, I can totally see him going out like that... One time, he chugged ALL of Master-Crash's mystery tonics on a dare, and transformed into a stone statue for like, two hours. Dude, Master-Crash was so pissed, he almost tossed statue-Gary into the lake... What fun we shared. Of course, I lost touch with him once I was accepted into the Dangertorium of Villainy (Class of '91, woo!) Got a Double-major in Mad Engineering and Needless Bureaucracy.

 

Anyway, on to business... I've got these blueprints here, for a couple of Super-High-Density Matter-Formatting-Hypnoplanes? But first I'll need two signiatures, a stamp of approval, a stamp of redirection, a stamp of approval for the smap of redirection, and a wax seal with a raven on it. I mean, I've got my whole build crew ready, and our warehouse is already stocked with supplies, I just need the authorisation...

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Also, humanbean, don't forget to pay the gas bill tomorrow, as I'm really using the incenerators alot lately...

 

What gas bill? We've been holding the meter-guy's daughter in cell 58 for months, now.

It's good to see that you're one step ahead. Thoughts on my previous suggestion?

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What's-her-name from the uranium company went Stockholm-syndrome about two months back, and she's been working in the steno pool down in Procurement since.

 

Ricky, remember you also need to forward a copy of the finalized to me, along with a triplicate copy of Standard Form 187 and a DNA sample from your two Lead Researchers to get budget allocation and lab space.

 

I'm thinking we may want to shelve the ectoplasmic baguette line for a while; the field offices in France and Belgium have been reporting some setbacks.... maybe naming 'em "Ghost Toasties" wasn't such a hot idea, after all...

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Ehh, well, I would, but it seems that that'll no longer be necessary. I just got work from the boys down in Utilities that Warehouse BB7/a3 has, ah, been... formatted, as it were. This may be a result of storing our Matter Formatters there, but it's all speculation at this point. What's important is, that I have these great new designs for a Henchmen Breakroom/Sauna/Interrogation Chamber in the gaping hole where BB7/a3 used to be! Now, if I could just get you to sign in blue ink on this line, green ink on this line, and put a small scalp sample in this bag, I can start... Wait.

 

You wanted an SF187. Why would you want an SF187? You're not in the proper Information Sphere to even SEE an SF187! Tell me, how many Loyalty Pointz do you have?! I'm considering reporting this to Lord Garett!

 

 

...Unless of course, you can make it worth my while to keep quiet...

 

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