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What is more important. Knowing how to win or knowing how to loose?


kvnchrist

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I've have always been on the outside of the fishbowl looking in, when It comes to the social gatherings. I've never been part of the in crowd and I don't think I would know how to act If that changed, suddenly. , at one time wanted more than anything to be accepted by these people, especially when I was still in school.

 

I did notice that the quote/unquote beautiful people all hung together and it seemed the more things worked out in their favor, the more popular they became. I also noticed that these people were among the worst people to be around when things were not so well. I kind of wondering what you guys feel builds character in people. Is it the ability to win with modesty or the ability to lose with dignity?

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I would say knowing how to lose is probably better. If you can't be good to others without something good happening to you first, then you don't deserve anything good to happen to you.

 

Knowing how to win has its merits too though. If you win at life, good for you. Having a better life does not make you a better person though, which some people seem to forget.

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In a sense, knowing how to lose is a good thing, because it means you can become a winner. A person who knows how to lose will know how to avoid losing in the future. A person who knows how to win will only know how to win, and when things don't go right, they won't know what to do. For someone who knows how to lose, the only way is up. For someone who knows how to win, the only other way is down, and they'll go down rapidly.

 

However, this isn't always the case, as seen with many millionaires.

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It is the experiences in life that allow people to build real character and develop skills to cope with other experiences.

 

Applying this to the topic at hand, neither winning nor losing are particularly useful if you never learn anything from it. From winning, it is the knowledge of what works well for a variety of situations and being able to use your success to help others get a leg up. From losing, it is gaining knowledge of what doesn't work, and having the personal strength to continue despite whatever stumbling points might be in the way. People who learn nothing from what they have had in their life may have marginal success, but they probably won't be happy.

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I think I might take Vagrant's point a step further and say that it is knowing how to live that is important. Living a full life will include both winning and losing. What you learn from those experiences will help you to go to the next level and the next and so on and so on. We become the human beings we are by choosing what we take away from each of those experiences and then choosing what to do next.

 

I do not believe that just "being a good loser" is necessarily helpful to the human psyche. However, learning how to lose graciously is just as important as learning how to win graciously. This however, is important only from the standpoint of human interaction. But in my opinion, more important in both cases is what you take away from the experience in order to develop your own humanity.

 

 

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In the case of character building, learning how to accept knockbacks (loosely losing) with a degree of grace, is a powerful if sometimes harsh part of developing as a more complete person. Winning (loosely fulfilling ambitions) of course, comes from learning from setbacks, and developing tactics, which achieve desireable ends. Winning with arms pumping, and loud shouts of "Im the man" (or Im the woman) is probably not particularly good for character building.

I think accepting undesireable results of our actions, define our boundaries. A winning mentality then pushes those boundaries, to achieve bigger and better boundaries.

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