Why's it so hard...

[Malchik]

I hate small-talk for example, when I talk, then I talk seriously. I only speak when there is something really interesting to talk about, something important. Anything else is a waste of time and energy. I don't bother with whom I talk, as long as the other person is reasonable and intelligent enough to discuss something of real importance.

Darnoc, you're not likely to find too many girls if your chat up line is 'Do you feel that the depletion of the ozone layer is having a deleterious effect upon the quality of Swiss cheese!' (Unless you are lucky enough to find one like Desdemona who warmed to Othello when he made such pretty speeches as 'When I was living amongst the anthropophagi' or words to that effect.)

 

You have to be able to make the small talk first to find the people who have the depth of knowledge and interest to talk with you on more esoteric subjects or at a profound level. This is certainly true outside academia. But then Academia is nuts! (Sorry my mistake that's Macadamia of course.)

 

I happen to know my IQ level (as an ex member of Mensa). I can talk seriously on many issues but life is much more fun if you can adapt to the company you are in. Do you really sit there all silent and stuffy and superior? I suppose some girls might consider this Byronic but they are more likely to see it as moronic.

 

And those of you who eschew the rollercoaster of emotion - the technical term is 'repressed'. Enjoy your youth. It doesn't last forever.

[Darnoc]

Do you really sit there all silent and stuffy and superior? I suppose some girls might consider this Byronic but they are more likely to see it as moronic.

 

That's the other thing, I don't go and sit there at all. The first reason is that I don't have the money and the second, I think it's boring to go out and third I rather go to unusual places, like go alone into the next forrest, walk around, sit somewhere, breath the fresh air, thinking about something, clear my mind...

 

The interesting thing about it is when you meet people there. I had quite interesting talks with people I never saw before and probably will never see again. Problem is that most young people don't go where I go. When it happens tough (unfortunately very seldom) those young people are the most interesting you can ever meet. Probably because they are also different from the usual. One reason why I hate normality and the usual is probably because people who are like this also hate me. People don't like strangeness. That is why I rather stick with other strange people (punks, idiots, scuril philosophers, hippies, handicapped people...) those are mostly more friendly (and also more interesting) than the "normal" people.

 

I remember the times during secondary school (7th to 9th class) when I sticked with those from the classes for low-IQ-people, because they had no problem with me being strange (because they are strange themselves), but the others, especially those from my class (pro-gymnasium), disliked and even sometimes hated me (OK, I hated them too). Especially those from the pro-gymnasium, those who would later on become the elite and academics, were very arrogant and thought "we are on the top of the world". I am also on a higher school, I know, but still I have good friends among those with a little lower IQ and among those who are strange. I never made friends or even liked academics or intellectuals (only hippies, punks and philosophy students, those are OK), even when I am one of them.

[Faust870]

It's easy to talk to girls... Just need the confedience...

[Malchik]

Darnoc, it sounds arrogant, although I don't think you mean it to be, to refer to 'people of lower IQ'.

 

I have nothing against strange. I will talk to anybody. I firmly believe that with very few exceptions everyone is interesting if you can find the subject they are really enthusiastic about. For instance, I'm no lepidopterist, but hearing about butterflies from a knowledgeable enthusiast can be fascinating. I once went to meet the man who trains most of the wolves used on tv and films in the UK and met the wolves. Incredible! There is so much to learn and understand that dry-as-dust books can seldom bring to life (and often the teacher cannot either). I'm no great fan of sports but to accompany a real enthusiast who can explain well what they enjoy in a game can make it interesting. The only time I have problems are if we can't communicate properly and that does sometimes happen.

 

IMO most people are worth a bit of effort. And often what seems as arrogance is shyness or their own defensive protection against being thought strange themselves. I have lots of friends and most of them think I'm weird (or wired) - it doesn't interfere with the friendship!

 

If met anyone on this forum I could talk to them, about Morrowind, computer games, rpg and so on, even if on the face it we had nothing else in common.

 

BTW, I sometimes get drunk, too. (Although I frequently promise myself the day after that I'll never do it again!) Sadly it's another piece of behaviour that the female of the species (unless she is drunk too) finds less than appealing in your average man. And I suspect that, in the cold light of day, men don't much like women who get drunk on a regular basis either.

[Shakkara]

If I ever find a woman who would do this together with me, also likes writing, philosophy, fantasy, sciencefiction, serious talking and dislikes smalltalk, the injustice in this world, destruction of nature, Bush and similar people and normality, then I would consider spend my time with her or even my life. Until such a person appears, I have better things to do.

 

Unfortunately these people don't know where you are ... so there's an obvious problem ;)

They just happen to appear out of no-where ;)

[Slaiv]

Rather I feel I have a healthy social life (as my work demands I do),

OT [hey, its in the OT zone], but what do you do?

[Shadow of the Fallen]

...What I want to know is why all the advice is popping up.. Perhaps someone read "I NEED HELP" in that first post... unfortuantly it was never written there... Hmm.

 

How do I always know what you people want to talk about? (#1 topic of the day 4/21/04)

 

Heh, it is fun, however, watching all you guys debate your reasoning on women and the intricacies of dating.. I have no problem getting to know girls once the ice is broken, its just taking the ice pick to it... I always pick the wrong hammer.

 

Plus, I can't get a date within 100 km of where I live because of my social status within my own community.. Sad as it is, I have a bad record or something that was set into motion by some driving urge that someone have to make my life misrable. Sigh, yes, that is why I have all this time to talk to you people..

 

But if you want my opinion, there is a hot chick for every dork on the face of the planet. Some of them are in the eyes of the beholder.

[vandorssen]

QUOTE (vandorssen @ Apr 21 2004, 09:14 PM)

Rather I feel I have a healthy social life (as my work demands I do), 

 

 

OT [hey, its in the OT zone], but what do you do?

 

I am head of design and a sales manager for a small electronics manufacturing company. I design power amplifiers and other circuitry for a large(ish) consumer electronics company in the US. And we also design OEM amplifiers and sound equipment for several professional sound reinforcement companies. Part of my job is to sell designs for new amplifiers (there are only so many ways to make a 1000 watt amp), which includes attending trade shows and generally schmoozing with potential customers.

[Darnoc]

@Malchik: It wasn't meant so, I only didn't know what other term to use.

 

By the way, my best friend is one of those I talked about: Went to the school for those who are a little slow, hasn't got a real job because of this. But I say this: Sometimes he sees things clearer than all those intellectuals and academics. And he is not a bit arrogant. He is friendly to everyone and he wouldn't hurt a fly (he is 2 meters tall and very broad, so he wouldn't have a problem to beat anyone up). When I go to drink a beer with him and talk about all the troubles in the world, he is mostly the one who sees what is really behind everything.

 

Another good friend of mine (this time female) was a criminal. Together with her boyfriend and her sister she robbed gas stations and little stores (well, she only drove the car, her friend acctually robbed the stores), but she was really lucky and she wasnn't convicted. This was some years ago. She couldn't be more different. She is probably one of the most friendliest and funniest persons I ever met. Interesting is that she has contacts with other criminals, especially one who was convicted for assisting in a murder. Interesting people you meet sometimes...

 

And there is this weird philosophy student I know who takes drugs (to inspire himself, so that he can write and think better) and with whom you can have the most interesting discussions. You can even philosophize with him about the use of drugs and if they should be legalized, also about the effect on society. Ah yes, his father owns a steak restaurant in the city of Thun which I can recommend.

 

There is also this writer and philosophy student I know who has the ADD syndrom (attention deficit disorder). We often exchange what we have written and his stories are really weird. OK, I also have a little ADD, but my brother is on the extreme side.

 

Oh yes, my brother is a punk, takes also drugs (he is an expert for Weed, if you need anything...), drinks and if he had a gun and would be in Washington DC he would shoot Bush on site. OK, who wouldn't?

 

Those are the people I like to interact with, not normal, strange, a lot different from the usual. Not the everyday guys you meet who go to work/school and live a normal, dull live. You don't meet them in the next bar, but rather in strange places.

 

@Shakkara: yeah, they do sometimes... but very seldom.

[Osiris]

Talking to girls used to be a somewhat of a problem for me, but not so much lately. It's always much easier when you have something to talk about you are both interested in, not meaningless smalltalk you won't remember in 20 minutes. Try to keep it lighthearted and throw in some humor. (Use my advice at you own risk :whistling: ) I think the problem is people care about what people think of them too much. But maybe I'm a different case because I go to a rather small private high school where mostly everyone knows eachother to some degree, which means its a bit of a more friendly atmosphere. I often wonder if normal high schools are as dramatic as some people (and television programs) would have me think. I can certainly imagine it, but I guess I'm lucky thats all I have to do. BTW I'm not saying we're all goodn' dandy (I don't think I've ever said that before :blink: ) to eachother 24/7, just not so much the evil cliques of cheerleaders that may at any time try to ruin your life (TV stereotype) Or maybe I've just never noticed such things going on. Talking to the opposite gender without looking like a total (or somewhat) fool is mostly a confidence/self esteem and experience (most of all) type of thing.

 

How bout a game? Try to guess my age... and no looking at me profile now :angry2:

 

Edit: I didn't think this deserved a whole new post so here ya go. I'm 14, heh, I feel special now, you though I was 15 ;)