Should I be concerned about my apparent nihilism? (rant/streamofconcio

[imperistan]

So lately I've been becoming very aware of an issue I guess I have where I'm extremely nihilistic. At least thats the best word to describe it anyway. For instance, I know that I really don't care anyone in my family at this point. I recently had an aunt die to cancer and I can honestly say I didn't even skip a beat and went about my business. I feel no connection to anyone in either side of my family, including my sister and my dad.

 

Beyond that I've really stopped caring about others outside of my family as well, though they're more tolerable I guess. For instance when I heard about the Boston bombings I pretty much just laughed because I thought it was silly to blow up a marathon finish line. I saw the photos of people with their legs blown off and all that and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Job wise I'm quite ruthless in that I'm aggressively climbing over every body for my own benefit and pushing people out when they don't serve my interests. Which is pretty great because I've had 6 raises in a month as well as a double promotion to boot.

 

Overall the only times I feel any real emotion at all besides anger and annoyance (and thats only ever when I deal with stupid/annoying people at my job) is either when I listen to music, or when I'm interacting with animals. In fact I feel more saddened to see an animal hurt than a human. In fact I can even remember at one point twitching rather violently after someone stomped a bug I had let go about its business, and I can't even stand to hear about any animals being put down (when they don't necessarily deserve it or need it, mind you) and all that.

 

Despite all this though I think i'm pretty happy. But I don't know. This has been bugging me and I guess I just want some kind of an outside opinion.

[Iv000]

Firstly, nihilism is The rejection of all religious and moral principles, often in the belief that life is meaningless.

 

Secondly, I think you're a good bit non-empathic and the "climbing every body for my own benefit and pushing people out when they dont serve your interest" part sounds very egoistic. I definitely wont judge if that's good or not, nor will I try to tell you that you should change, that's up to you to decide it's your life after all. I have a friend who's very egoistic. The only thing I'll say is that we're not very good friends and I dont enjoy his company.

 

Some people just work differently. Whether that is because of genes or how they grew up, everybody is different. I'm very biased when it comes to empathy and ego. I've been alone most of my life, always had some problems since birth till now and that made me extremely empathic and altruistic. My mindset is "I dont want other people to feel what I felt" or similar. While others who went through the same might think "I suffered so much, why shouldn't others.". I devoted my life to other humans and making the world a better place, even if by a tiny bit. Some say I'm stupid for being so altruistic but I have a very different mindset and I'm focused globally on the whole planet and not egoistically on just myself.

 

In general I think it's how you see yourself and what you think your purpose in life may be.

 

Personally, I think that you should maybe try develop a bit of empathy and try to be less egoistic. Live life for yourself but try to do some good for others too. (Im an extreme case of altruism, I'm a bad example :P )

 

But if you're happy and you're doing okay then I dont see a problem.