The Kingdom of Nexonia - Auriana's Court RP

[Eckss]

Dazed and slightly confused by the fall, the Lord High Executioner sat up, faced in the direction of the cacophony and caterwauling coming from the kitchen and proceeded to scoot along the floor in a manner reminiscent of the way that dogs draw skidmarks on carpets.

"Greetings Head Chef, I've come to see,

if there might be some food that won't poison me.

I've had sausages so often it's quite absurd -

Hey, I'm over here. Are you looking at my bird?"

[grannywils]

"umm, excuse me, my lady, I've arranged for the throne as requested, but I was just wondering..... have you noticed that rather peculiar ensign just over the castle walls??? There has been a most unusual and exceptionally ugly raven flapping and lollygagging about all morning, and I suspect FOWL play (you should pardon the expression). Perhaps you should have some of your heavily armed and ever so handsome (eyelashes batting here) seamen look into this posthaste"

[tokyobiohazard]

"Sausages, you say?" The Head Chef grabbed up the tray of snacks which she'd been cooking a mere moment ago and offered them to the High Executioner. They were indeed sausages, but she was sure he'd enjoy them. After all, they were cooked perfectly.

Unable to resist herself, she reached out and attempted to pull at the face of the bird, only to realize the bird's beak was far too hard to stretch. "Well, that's worrying."

[AurianaValoria1]

"Thank you for informing me of such matters," Auriana inclined her head to her lady-in-waiting, "I shall, of course, dispatch men at once." Turning to her highest-ranking knight, the Queen-to-be said, "Knight Commander! I want you to rally some men and see what is going on with that strange flag that has been seen as of late. The last thing we need is enemy ships floating about. Captain!" she then added to the Captain of the Guard, "Find the raven that's been strutting about the castle and let it loose outside before it makes a mess in my halls."

Edited July 9, 2013 by AurianaValoria1

[Zephyr2011]

The Captain of the Guard had been wincing all day. Every clash, every clamor, every clang had caused a slight involuntary jump. He wasn't the castle steward, but he enjoyed the grounds and cared for them all the same. At each incident he summoned one of his guards and told them to look into it. One was off fetching the Janitor to help clean up some mess of a statue, another was after that stupid cat who had desecrated the throne, and another was supposed to be tailing the Lord of Lunacy to keep him in check, but Zephyr kept seeing the guardsman wandering aimlessly trying to find the Lord.

 

When his Queen approached, the Captain of the Guard snapped to attention and saluted, "Right away, Your Grace. I'll see about the kitchens as well, there's been an awful racket, and I'd like to prevent any food poisoning this time." The captain of the guard went to ease when Auriana passed and boomed, "Rodrick! Pendrick!" two wispy thin knights appeared, each with long brown hair and comb-overs in the opposite direction and armor that was symmetrical when they stood next to each other. Damned twins he thought. They even had matching, pink, fluffy, bunny slippers, where they found those he would never know. "I want you two to search the castle for this over-large Raven and apprehend it, or coerce it or lure it with shiny objects-whatever, just get it out of the way of the festivities so it doesn't muck anything up. Is that clear soldiers!"

 

"Sir Yes Sir!" They said in their disturbingly unison, tenor voices, and trooped off. The captain himself strode off for the kitchens and spotted the Royal Chef, the Lord of Lunacy and the Lord High Executioner with the Raven perched on his shoulder. Stars that's a big bird! Where to begin, the kitchen was a mess after the Lord of Lunacy had apparently tried to take a bath in a pot (he made a mental note to see to it that that never reached table), the chef was trying some of her... interestingly prepared sausages, the Executioner looked daze and the raven was... well... in the kitchen.

 

"Lunacy, would you kindly remove yourself from the kitchen so our great Chef here can return to her work? Good Chef, please do take care that at least one of your courses is warm all the way through. You know what happened last time you served that hot-and-frozen foie gras. Lord Executioner, are you well and what is that bird on your shoulder?" He was a little taken aback by the sheer amount of chaos in one room, but then again he had witnessed a fair amount of insanity already in the throne room.

[Keanumoreira]

Having heard his name being mentioned in the distance, the Lord of Lunacy and Pete went moseying around the side of the palace, completely ignoring the Royal Fashion Adviser as she stuffed herself away in the royal carriage. "She wasn't much worth the trouble anyway. Her ankle looked fine to me".

 

Finding himself beneath the windows of the kitchen, he found that the Captain of the Guard was addressing the lord, even though he wasn't in the room. "Egad! They're talking about me? ME? Behind MY back? Without ME? Who do they think they are! Hey you! Yeah you! Why don't you get your fat tin suit down here and say that to my monocle! Why, I have half a mind to send the Lord Executioner's ax down upon that scrawny stick you call a neck!"

 

That, he thought, would certainly arouse his attention.

Edited July 10, 2013 by Keanumoreira

[Zephyr2011]

The captain blinked his eyes a couple times and realized that the Lord of Lunacy was not in the kitchens, just someone who liked like him, but he still smelled his handy work in the disgusting soup spilled everywhere along with the toe of his long dead "friend" Pete. He turned to the window, "I will tell it to your monocle. Stay out of the kitchens. And I will gladly take you to the lists in my fancy tin suit, if your lordship would so choose. I do not have the patience for your shenanigans today." The captain regained his composure slightly and beckoned for more guards, posting one outside every entrance to the hot, steamy and smelly room. He couldn't decide if this smell was appetizing or not...

[Eckss]

"Am I well, you ask? I think not.

My bones they ache and my balance is shot.

As for my troubles, where to begin,

That Damned Good Witch has taken my skin,

my blood, my meat and even my name.

Apart from that, I can't complain.

Oh yes, there's one thing more if you've the time,

I cannot speak unless I rhyme."

The Lord High Executioner felt good to unload some of his troubles on the Captain of the Royal Guard and he'd be able to return the favour as soon as the Captain had a prisoner he needed dealt with - No questions asked.

"As to the bird on my shoulder,"

Quick, what rhymes with shoulder? Throb.

"Ow, it's not a bird nor a boulder."

Boulder? It'll do.

"Tis nothing more than a delusion you see,

just suspicious sausages disagreeing with me."

Turning to the proffered platter of Novelty-Bites and noticing, approvingly, that there was far less cat hair than he was used to, he chose the one that looked the least like a sausage.

"Thankyou Head Chef, I'll try this one,

it's shaped like a cat's paw, oh what fun."

It was crunchy with ice and scalding hot, but still the best thing he'd eaten since the implementation of cost-cutting measures that meant he ate the same food as the prisoners. Which reminds me, where is that penny pinching bean counter?

"Noble Captain, I must enquire,

have you seen the Accountant-Royal?

I have his spike ready, just by the fire

and I'd hate for his welcome to spoil."

 

[Lisnpuppy]

The Goddess stared in horror as the odd..well..she guess it was called a cook, though from what she could smell that was using the human word to an extent that she had not heard it before....but as the odd cook grabbed her beak and pulled. Flapping her wings madly she cawed and began trying to nip at the cooks fingers.

 

*Human..what is this Cook doing...grabbing a Goddess' beak!?!?! Do you have any idea how hard I thought to form that infernal thing? It is more complicated than it looks!* Looking over when one, mean black eye she noted the Executioner trying to explain...in prose..that she was a sausage-induced delusion.

 

*STOP SAYING THAT!!* She yelled furiously into his mind.

[M48A5]

The cat made it through the doors and out into the courtyard just in time to see the strange looking woman put his new cat bed in the boot of a nearby carraige. With a quick little run and hop, he made it onto the boot just as the carraige took off. "Well, at least I can get some rest on the way to town", he thought. "As for this color the invaders of my castle have chosen, I might appreciate it if I was a tabby. Since I am a Cheshire Cat, I sport the true royal color of Purple."

During the ride into town, the Cat noticed how quiet it was. It seems he could not hear any barking dogs. "How wonderful" he thought. "Someone has finally done something about those four legged flea bags the commoners keep around. As if they did not have enough fleas on their own, they have to keep dogs, too."