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The Kingdom of Nexonia - Auriana's Court RP


AurianaValoria1

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infuriated by the Captain's commands, the lord began to scale the wall up and into the window of the royal kitchen. "How dare he tell me where I am and am not allowed to go! I can skip on the sun if I had a mind to!"

 

Once inside, he wielded Pete's toe and began shoving it into the Captain's chestplate with a barrage of accusations, "Now you listen here you clunky tin can, where do you get off demanding where I may place my feet? Do you know who I am you layman?! I'm THE LORD OF LUNACY! How d-". It was then that he noticed the raven inside of the room, making a great deal of racket in the midst of the total chaos.

 

He snatched the thing from the hand of the cook and grinned, "Oh! Would you look at this! A flying rat! Oh happy day! How I do adore flying rats! Look how adorable it is with its little beady black eyes! I think I'll name you...George. Do you like that name? Is George a good name?"

Edited by Keanumoreira
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Auriana heard the racket from the kitchen all the way in the Great Hall. Sighing, she stepped carefully across the floor, walked down the hallway, and into the kitchen to see the local mad lord with an oversized raven, the Lord High Executioner eating what looked like sausages, the Royal Chef cooking Goddess-knew-what in some sort of beeping contraption, and the Captain of the Guard standing over them all.

 

Putting her hands on her hips, she spoke in her most authoritative tone, "Lord Keanu, unhand that raven and go bathe and change into a new set of clothes at once...you look absolutely deplorable! Captain, shoo the raven outside and make sure it doesn't come back in. Executioner, do cease sampling the food and leave the Chef in peace."

 

Looking around the kitchen, she shook her head, "Call the janitor when he returns and have him clean up this mess."

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The lord knew better than to disobey the queen, and immediately unhanded the raven he named "George". "Yes my queen! At once my queen!" and hurried away from the kitchen to change into something more desirable, careful not to slip on the floors like last time.

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News of the unwarranted maltreatment of his favorite raven reached the captain's ears. The Marquess Cruela Grannywills of Dalamatia will pay dearly for the injury of my pet, swore the captain. Get up you lubbers he swore at the sleeping crew.."We sail on the morning tide'. The Pegasus left harbor at dawn, the growls of the crew were so fierce that even the dolphins riding the bow wave veered off in dismay. :pirate:

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The Constable stood in the Great Hall, after having to beat a Knight off of one of the serving girls. The serving girl had tried to flee, but the Constable flicked one of the slippers in his hand at her and she slipped and went sliding across the Great Hall on her belly, screaming all the way. She stopped in a heap at the entrance and was promptly collected by a Guard.

 

The Knight had drawn his weapon in anger, but the Constable didnt step aside. Instead he did the only sensible thing to do. He dueled the Knight with the other slipper. Of course he still had his sword in his main hand, but for some reason he thought it best to use the slipper as a weapon instead. And the ultra slick floors only helped him, as the Knight had to shuffle to reach him, whereas the Constable only had to apply a tiny amout of pressure to his boots to go sliding out of reach.

 

After a few moments, and more than a few slaps about the Knights face with the slipper, the Constable slid behind the knight, nudged him behind the knees, and with the weight of the Knights armor, he had no choice but listen to gravity and fall upon his face. And after the Guards had shuffled forward and bound the Knight, the Constable gave him his sentence.

 

"For the crimes of exhibitionism and inappropriate-touching-in-public, you are sentenced to sixty-nine lashes upon the bottom. Did your mother never tell you to not touch a lady so in public? You may well be stripped of your rank as well, but that is for the Queen to decide. Guard! Fetch The Lord High Executioner. Tell him he has a sentence to carry out. That should make his day."

 

The Guard nodded and hurried away, most likely in the direction of the kitchens.

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The captain of the guard snapped to attention when the Queen entered, mildly embarrassed by her timing. "At once, Your Grace." He said. He reached for the Raven, meaning to put it on his shoulder for safe keeping until he got outside. Perhaps if it wouldn't make a mockery of the court, he could even let it stay inside somewhere. Why in the bloody hell would I do that? What has come over me? A raven has no place in court except to ferry messages. I should turn it out at once as Her Grace commanded. He shook his head slightly and then took the Lord High Executioner by the arm to try to lead him from the kitchens toward the great hall.

 

"I'm most sorry to hear that m'lord. I'm sure the rhyming is a great chore, I have no gift for the art and would never be able to speak if that curse were laid upon me. Perhaps I could have some of the songwriters at court compile a list of common words and their rhymes for your easy reference? Would that suit you? At any rate, let us go to the great hall and leave the Chef to her work."

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"M'lady, I must rush off to my dentist, Dr. Daryl. B. Payne, but I just thought you needed to know that the pitiless, profiteering, probably peglegged pirate has now admitted to keeping company with that ridiculous, ruthless, rather rotund raven; whom I might add is still fluttering about the castle attempting to insinuate herself into the minds of some of your "err", shall I say, "um, um" more mindless palace employees. I really do believe that something is afoot", she said as she tripped over her own on the way out the door. "Oh, and by the way", she shouted from down the passageway, "I have never mistreated any poor defenseless animal, even that besotted raven"....

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