GOOGLEPOX Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Alright Its been a bit since I asked last, but any more feedback on my Ogre Cave? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronam Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 The others haven't said anything, so I doubt they have taken a look at... Did you made any changes after mine, by the way?Or are you waiting for more feedback, as you said..? I'll ask the others if they want to take a look, first thing tomorrow.(as they are probably all gone now..) -50% of the story..pff. I must watch out not writing too much next to it. :D.--75% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy12750 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 ITS FINISHED! The Life and Times of Illian is done. and it only took me 2 hours! not bad. Hope you like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy12750 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 so has anyone read it? come on! i need some feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronam Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 3/5 is asleep already...different time-zones :)..Haha, the story of The Force is almost done as well.I found it difficult to stick to his story, but it is his. I only changed things that weren't true and.. mostly grammar-related things :).. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy12750 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 well how did you like mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronam Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Didn't read it yet..I'll do know.. You can judge this one..it is from the Force..The things that are left unchanged are obvious.. Still, here it is.. more readable and edited :)..It is still not thát coherent, but it is The Force's work so I left it in its value. Still a nice one, The Force.I'm not sure about the title, maybe you know one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronam Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Hm, I'm not sure about your end. Maybe instead of "as a conqueror." "and then I will take my revenge".The conqueror-part should derive from that thought. The rest is good as always...:)..Let's hope the other take a look soon as well. Only slawter did once, if I'm correct.--I'll leave in... 10 min.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy12750 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 ok thanks. um The Forces story is.... good. though there are still quite a few grammarical errors.... for the name.. i would say something short and simple for all 3 of his books. Mabye #1 could be called 'the Glory' #2 The fall #3 The rebirth or just rebirth. i got to turn in for the night, i probaly wont be on for a while tommarow another busy day. but ill be on.... eventually. tommarow sometime. your welcome to change anything in my book you want, i just liked 'as a conqueror' because he is leaving the IC and will return to take over the city. but thats all right if you want to change it. Good Night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronam Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 HAha, Indeed. I just took a peak. It was quite difficult to see what he meant from time to time.I'll ask slawter to take a decent look tomorrow.I know what you mean with the conqueror, but it came quite sudden. I'm not sure yet, let's discuss tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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