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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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until SAW saw that the noil was just a bit of wool (ooc>as per the dictionary) for pulling over his eyes to stop him finding the key.

 

And as he was in Ainran, somewhere there had to be a hctiw (pronounced 'who') who surely know more about the wherabouts of the key. Of course there was no telling if the hctiw was a wicked hctiw or a white hctiw so care was needed.

 

So SAW made himself invisible. Awkwardly he was so invisible that he couldn't find himself and blundered straight into....

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.....himself! He had inadvertently warped into a bi-perpendicular dimension - one identical to his own, but everything was bi-sideways (i.e. back-to-front) - and had bumped into his own oge-retla, WAS.

 

"Crivens!" He exclaimed, "What are you - I mean I - doing here?" What SAW saw was a sight to see, but what WAS saw was ...........

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Saw... or was it Saw? Answered: "How the hell am I supposed to know about that? You... I mean I, am the one stumbling into me. You ... bleedin... I better explain a thing or two right now!"

 

Saw answered:

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...at the same as Was said:

 

'Eish...it is a proooblem. Which witch is which, or hctiw (pronounced who) which has the key?'

 

And Wat said "Nice chorus boys, now quickly let me help you with this bi-perpendicular dimension thing before we run into my oge-retla Taw, or worse my big sister What..."

 

And right at that moment...

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Everyone had been miraculously transported to a performance of My Fair Lady and were joining in the chorus of 'I'm getting married in the morning' with gusto.

 

But who was 'gusto'?

 

There was something shape-shifty about him.

 

This turned out to be horribly clear when he morphed into...

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........Purply, the not-quite-purple purple thing!!! >:(

 

 

 

Everyone shrieked with terror as his off-mauve aura of malignant ill-intention eminated through the theatre, and several of the chorus singers passed out. "I kome to klaim vot iz mein!" Croaked he. "Hand over ze map and I zhall zee to it you all die horrrribly. On ze uzzer hand, failure to komply vill result in............

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me evil plan to take tze map failing! And tzhat wouldn'tz be good atz all...z!".

 

"Hey!", one of the actors said with a... with a... voice, "You are not supposed to come in yet, the 'reclaimz waz iz minez zene' is in the end of the play!"

 

"Oh... Zorry..." Purply said with an ebarrassszzzed voice, instantly transforming himslef into Gusto, the not-quite-gusto Gusto thing, "I forgot-zor".

 

"Yea, I bet you did", the actor said, "Now get your azz of the stage before the crowd starts throwing bana..."

 

*Shlaphzuck* (The sound of a banana hitting an actor)

 

"What the..."

 

*Shlaphzuck again* (The sound of a banana hitting the same actor a second time)

 

"To late..."

 

*Shlaphzuck Shlaphzuck Shlaphzuck Shlaphzuck Shlaphzuck* (The sound of a lot of bananas hitting a lot of actors at the same time)

 

Gusto realised that he had to get out of here, so he turned, ran, slipped on a banana, and fell backwardzzz into...

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...the banana bread baked by the actress, who is still singing "I'm getting married on the 8th of July..."

 

As Gusto tucks into the banana bread she shrieks " Stop eating the wedding cake with such...such...gusto!" after which she runs crying into the wings, looking for the wedding invitations.

 

Gusto shakes his head and mutters...

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.... "Right, stop that. It's silly. And besides, it's only June." Brushing the cake-crumbs from his impeccably pressed Hammy Titfinger designer loincloth, he drew himself to his feet and placed his hands on his hips in a defiant, somewhat melodramatic stance. Tossing his head aloft, he cried...........
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