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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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.. indeed a turned haggis.... but instead of turning around it had turned inside out and it was now turning on them!

 

"Run away!" yelled the sockfinder general, and all the footwear legged it as fast as ever they could.

 

At length they stopped, hoping to have outrun the gahsig.... but had they?

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No! It came charging along behind. "That'll be seventeen shillings and sixpence ha'penny. Children half price." The introverted monster shrieked.

 

Then splatt!!!!!

 

Mervyn landed on it splitting it in two. He had been sent out to recover the portaloo and just chanced to land here head first.

 

But a sudden burst of music by Paul Dukas gave them an ominous warning. Where there had been one mop carrying broomstick - er sorry, sorry - one gahsig, now there were two!

 

The socks....

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  • 3 weeks later...

... Someone turned of the wossname-drive and everything that had ever happend, had not happend. So the socks did not talk anymore, the shoes did not walk anymore, and the guy named Chalk didn't Chalk anymore.

 

But, there was still hope for the socks, because, there was a pair of socks that was so horribly real that they could never be false. And that was the fearsome socks of "Dark0ne". They still lived, and was just going to kill another innocent nose when...

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... a hungry goat wandered over, sniffed at the socks and began to chew them.

 

Having eaten the socks, the goat then proceeded to devour the tartan tea-towel the haggis had waved as a battle flag, and which of course was so improbable an item - since only in a very skewed reality would such a thing ever be mass-produced - that it also had survived the cataclysm.

 

Normality was thus restored, and all that remained on the battlefield were a goat with indigestion, the portaloo, and half of one of Dark0ne's socks (apparently that particular bit had been too unpalatable even for a goat).

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The next day the farmer, after finding the dead goat, ran back to the village screaming that the chupacabra had returned.

Most people laughed as he was holding Dark0ne's half-eaten sock with one hand and his nose with the other, but one of the elders knowing better ......

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Began running around in ever decreasing circles. "Life is too short," he screamed. "We need heroes, now. It is the curse of - he who must never be mentioned - he wishes to get back to Hogwarts and has come here to.... AAAAGH."

 

The oblique mention of you know who is enough. A ton of Dark0nes socks falls on him killing him instantly.

 

The other inhabitants of the settlement...

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... decided that the only way to prevent the apocalypse was by appeasement of the Dark0ne. The name 'Harald' was henceforth outlawed, as was the shaping of clay into vessels.

They carefully gathered up the Socks of Wrath and assembled them into a statue, which curiously, came to resemble something like a long-necked woolly goat (obviously this was due to the influence of some subversive element that altered the blueprints to commemorate the sock-eating goat of hope).

 

As soon as the statue was completed, all those Haralds and shapers of clay were led towards it to be sacrificed by....

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poisoness gasses.

 

The statue of Great Wooly Sock-Eater was constructed inside a small temple which now doubled as a makeshift gas chamber. As all the vile people namesd Harald and the evil clay vessel makers were led into the chamber whispers began about the chosen one.

Could one of these people deliver them from the.....

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Out of Story> Not sure I understod the last post correct, so correct me if I'm wrong =)

 

Ebon Hawk, then everything would be fine. But unfortunate for them, the Ebon Hawk was currently on it's way to the famous "House of Galaxy Delights" in a galaxy far far away...

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