The last poster wins

[slayerpaul]

:teehee:

[Pushkatu]

here I am, once again... la la laaa la la la laaa

[M48A5]

http://yoursmiles.org/msmile/misc/m0731.gif

[naomis8329]

:verymad: <------- This is me fighting with my 16 week old kittens, all male and totally opinionated.

 

 

:whistling: <------- This is their mom (my beautiful ninjakitty) watching me watching them ;D :blush:

[SilverDNA]

http://nd05.jxs.cz/671/388/5b8373bf4e_82092336_o2.gif

[Werne]

Oh crap, my wife told me today that she wants us to have a baby, a little girl. And while a lot of people would think of that as a good idea, I have a very bad feeling about it.

I do want to have a child but I don't know anything about kids, I suck at it. I was once told to watch my brother and he swallowed a hand full of screws, nearly choked to death. And a baby girl, I can't even imagine bathing her, changing he diapers, or even holding her in my arms, I'd die out of fear (and I'm not easy to scare, I charged on a machinegun with an empty pistol and a candy bar).

Besides, my parents were terrible, I was practically raised by everyone else except them. I'm also insane and sadistic, I got PTSD, ocassional paranoid bursts and my attention span is very, very short. Not to mention that I'm suicidal and I'll probably die from a liver failure before I reach 50s.

Basically, what kind of a father would I be? What if I raise my child as bad as my parents raised me? What if she gets hurt because I can't concentrate on watching her? What if I snap when she does something bad and hurt her? And the worst of all, what if my daughter ends up being like me?

I hate my life.

[naomis8329]

Yes..... and what if the world ended tomorrow, or a bus ran you over or a plane fell out of the sky?????

 

Honey, there is no definitive way to bring up children and you know what, once you have one of your own, things change. YOU change. Whether its a boy or a girl you will love them, nurture them and want to protect them with your life.

 

Its natural to think "What if...". Its natural to think that you'll do badly. Honestly you will be fine and the thing is, you know what your problems are and you something else, it wont matter as that special power "being a dad" kicks in the moment you hold them. You know where they are, you are bonded and once that happens whoa be tide anyone who tries to hurt that little miracle.

 

The majority of parents feel that way, worry before during and after. The majority of parents think they'll do it wrong and you know what I'd be more worried if you weren't worried.

 

Believe me you'll be great at it :yes: :yes: :yes:

[Pushkatu]

That is one deep thing to think about. In a relantionship both opinions matter. Your wife knows your problems better than most people and you know hers. You need to work together in this. If you don't feel ready, tell her that. If you're afraid, tell her that too. She needs to know. There's no turning back, once you have the baby and there's no one in the hole wide world that can help you guys raise your child. Practical advices are always welcomed, but you'll face daily problems no one will tell your about. You'll be the ones having to sort them out. As time goes by, you'll learn, everyone does. My advice(I'm not a dad yet) is to take things one at a time, figure them out and so on and like I said, your wife will be your best friend in this. Anyway, good luck with what ever the future gives ya.

[Werne]

Yes..... and what if the world ended tomorrow, or a bus ran you over or a plane fell out of the sky?????

 

Honey, there is no definitive way to bring up children and you know what, once you have one of your own, things change. YOU change. Whether its a boy or a girl you will love them, nurture them and want to protect them with your life.

 

Its natural to think "What if...". Its natural to think that you'll do badly. Honestly you will be fine and the thing is, you know what your problems are and you something else, it wont matter as that special power "being a dad" kicks in the moment you hold them. You know where they are, you are bonded and once that happens whoa be tide anyone who tries to hurt that little miracle.

 

The majority of parents feel that way, worry before during and after. The majority of parents think they'll do it wrong and you know what I'd be more worried if you weren't worried.

 

Believe me you'll be great at it :yes: :yes: :yes:

I don't know, I'm just not sure if I'm even cut out to be a father. My wife seems pretty sure I'll do well but personally, I wouldn't even trust myself with a dead sheep.

 

The thing that scares me the most is the fact that my childhood was terrible and so were my parents, what if I turn out to be as bad as them? I severed all contacts with them and the rest of my family, I haven't heard from them in over 2 years, that's if we ignore a phonecall when they told me they have disowned me due to marying an Iranian girl. When my father had a heart attack last year I was sitting on the balcony thinking I'll finally get rid of the bastard. If my child were to have a relationship like that with me, I don't think I could take it.

 

And yeah, my friends who got kids tell me the same thing you do, that the "dad instinct" comes when you get a child but still, it scares the life out of me. I mean yeah, I love kids, but the thought of having a child of my own frightens me. I'm especially scared of holding a baby, they look so tiny and fragile while I can rip doors off a car with my bare hands, I keep thinking I'll crush it if I try to move.

 

But there's one thing that makes me feel good about that - my wife believes I'll do good, and she knows me better than I do. I think I'll trust her judgement, I know better than to trust my own. Though she initially worried that I wouldn't accept having a daughter, around here giving birth to a girl sometimes gets you an express ticket out of the house. But I'm a simple guy, I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl, all I wish for is that it gets born healthy.

 

That is one deep thing to think about. In a relantionship both opinions matter. Your wife knows your problems better than most people and you know hers. You need to work together in this. If you don't feel ready, tell her that. If you're afraid, tell her that too. She needs to know. There's no turning back, once you have the baby and there's no one in the hole wide world that can help you guys raise your child. Practical advices are always welcomed, but you'll face daily problems no one will tell your about. You'll be the ones having to sort them out. As time goes by, you'll learn, everyone does. My advice(I'm not a dad yet) is to take things one at a time, figure them out and so on and like I said, your wife will be your best friend in this. Anyway, good luck with what ever the future gives ya.

I'm ready for anything, at least I believe I am, though my opinion is questionable. It's just that raising a child of my own seems more frightening than all the dumb s*** I did in my life combined. I already told her that, she believes in me more than I do, and she'll help me so that makes me feel safer about everything. It's still scary though.

 

Also, I know there will be problems, and I know no one can take my hand and walk me through them. I also know I can get through those problems, I dealth with a poblem of having to build my entire life from scratch after I got thrown out of the house, so I believe I can take anything life throws at me.

[M48A5]

:mellow: