cyrus224 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I can't think of another place to post this, but I wanted my fellow nexus family to see what I've been working on, and it relates a lot of Fallout 3. I'm writing a short fallout Novel, not like most following a hero in the wasteland. This story follows a young girl raised amongst Raiders, who lead a brutal life of death, violence, murder, rape and other terrible things you see in the wasteland, who gets captured by the Enclave after killing someone important. The first 4 chapters are posted so far, updated daily, if anyone wants to check it out! Click Here to check out the story I'm not usually into Fan fiction in any way, so I can understand some people not being interested, but give it a try, and see what you think. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7thsealord Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Not bad at all. So far, a lot grimmer than my own tastes run to, but then the core of this is a (ex-)Raider being interrogated by the Enclave. Looking forward to more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrus224 Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thanks for the response. It is really quite brutal. I wanted to write a story to take the lighthearted side out of the wasteland (not to say there wont be some humor later on), to really show how harsh the world can really be. When playing the game people run from point A to point B and don't often see the human element behind the story that makes people the way they are, so I wanted to show the face of how this girl got destroyed by the wasteland and turned into what she is. I want the reader to think she is brutal and harsh, yet also sympathize with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7thsealord Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 W-e-l-l, she has my sympathy right now, for whatever that's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrus224 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 I now have up to chapter 5, if you wish to keep reading! I'd love to get more feedback. Most of my feedback is coming from reddit. You are the only nexus user who I think has read it now, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrus224 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Share Posted March 14, 2014 The "final" chapter is now up. There will either be a second story, or I will eventually add on more chapters, but we have come to the end of the first part. I've had great feedback from a lot of people on various sites,and would love to hear more feedback from anyone interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7thsealord Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Well-done, certainly. Vivid descriptions. I do have to say the 'Good Cop, Bad Cop' routine the Enclave used was fairly obvious (to me, anyhow). Sarah does seem to have made some progress towards rejoining the human race despite her best efforts otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrus224 Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Thanks for the feedback, glad to hear it sounds like you enjoyed it. She does seem to be having a struggle with if she wants to do good or not, doesn't it? One moment she does something like selling out people for her own good, and the next she rescues several, others its a grey area where its them or her. What it comes down to is the question "whenever she does good, is it for others, or only herself" Do you have any discussion you may want to add? I'd love to hear your opinion on characters like Daniels, Adams, Carrie, etc, and how you think they may factor in to the 2nd part of the story. What are your thoughts on the mysterious sniper? Do you think Daniels actually cares, or was he saving his own ass? Is Adams just doing a job, or is he more ruthless than he comes across? I'd love to get some in depth discussion going to help encourage people to want to read, and I enjoy seeing what others think of the characters. I have got some good discussion on Reddit about peoples thoughts on the future, and characters, so it would be nice to get some thoughts on the Nexus too. Thanks for reading! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reve23 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I enjoyed reading this alot! I imagined everything before me in the Fallout 3/NV graphics, with the armors and guns and the whole Pitt! I read alot of books and I think your writing is very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7thsealord Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the feedback, glad to hear it sounds like you enjoyed it. She does seem to be having a struggle with if she wants to do good or not, doesn't it? One moment she does something like selling out people for her own good, and the next she rescues several, others its a grey area where its them or her. What it comes down to is the question "whenever she does good, is it for others, or only herself" Do you have any discussion you may want to add? I'd love to hear your opinion on characters like Daniels, Adams, Carrie, etc, and how you think they may factor in to the 2nd part of the story. What are your thoughts on the mysterious sniper? Do you think Daniels actually cares, or was he saving his own ass? Is Adams just doing a job, or is he more ruthless than he comes across? I'd love to get some in depth discussion going to help encourage people to want to read, and I enjoy seeing what others think of the characters. I have got some good discussion on Reddit about peoples thoughts on the future, and characters, so it would be nice to get some thoughts on the Nexus too. Thanks for reading! My own thought (which you should feel free to ignore if it suits you better) is that, for your next story, you might do well to temporarily step away from most, if not all, of the familiar characters - if just to avoid sequel-itis. She's headed out into the Wastes, so there should be new possibilitires opening up, not just re-hashes of the old ones. Certainly going to be Fallout (pun intended :smile: ) from her prior actions, but this should not be all there is. As for Daniels, yeah, my own guess is that it was "just another job" for him at first, but the big risk with that kind of deception is identifying/empathizing with the subject. Edited March 29, 2014 by 7thsealord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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