Stephen Colbert race?

[crysthala]

Some of you may have noticed an alarming problem. Bears are in Oblivion, and they cannot be stopped. Only one person has the power to rectify this: Stephen Colbert. Of course, everyone knows that Bethesda is a swirling eddy of communist propaganda, and so Stephen Colbert has not been included in the game.

 

But yes, we most definitely need to add Stephen to Oblivion. I've been trying with the vanilla races and FaceGen for about a month now, without success--looks like Stephen's face is too statistically improbable for the default races to handle. This could be a totally awesome mod: a Stephen Colbert race, who starts out in the dungeon, fully armed, in a suit and glasses, ready to

a. rid Cyrodiil of bears and

b. unleash his (your) fury upon the planes of Oblivion. And the Isles. And maybe the rest of Cyrodiil, too, if he's feeling peckish.

 

He could have special weapons/spells, as well. I've taken the liberty of coming up with a few.

Sword: Truthiness
Mace: Brass Balls
Bow: Sweetness
Axe: A New Segment

Visit Starbucks: Restore Health, Magicka, Fatigue
We'll Be Right Back: Chameleon
Threatdown: Demoralize
Smile!: Fortify Personality
Who's Honoring Me Now?: Command Humanoid
Who's Not Honoring Me Now?: Command Creature
I am FURIOUS.: Fortify STR, CON, SPD, AGI, Health, Fatigue
Beef with You: Fortify INT, WIS, Magicka
The Desk: Shield
I Am America: Resist Magicka
Nail 'Em: Fortify Marksman

Greater powers:
Corporate Sponsorship: Gives you gold.
That's Our Show: Insta-kill.
Colbert Nation: Summons another Stephen, identical to the first.
Better Know a District: Effect of cheat TMM 1--gives you every map marker, with the ability to travel to each.

He's not overpowered. He's Stephen-Powered.

 

Obviously, this would be a total joke mod, but still unbelievably awesome. At minimum, we need to have the Colbert custom race, like the Chuck Norris race (except better). I would totally do the whole thing myself, except that I am a poor, unskilled, liberal socialist. I do suspect, however, that we'd need a meshes person for his bone structure and items, a textures person to get his face right (and for the items), and someone to start him off with his proper items (not the spells, I can probably handle those).

Do we have any volunteers? :D

 

Also, any avatars that I may or may not have that may or may not feature Stephen in his glory may or may not be coincidental. :whistling:

[Natsu666]

Some of you may have noticed an alarming problem. Bears are in Oblivion, and they cannot be stopped. Only one person has the power to rectify this: Stephen Colbert. Of course, everyone knows that Bethesda is a swirling eddy of communist propaganda, and so Stephen Colbert has not been included in the game.

 

But yes, we most definitely need to add Stephen to Oblivion. I've been trying with the vanilla races and FaceGen for about a month now, without success--looks like Stephen's face is too statistically improbable for the default races to handle. This could be a totally awesome mod: a Stephen Colbert race, who starts out in the dungeon, fully armed, in a suit and glasses, ready to

a. rid Cyrodiil of bears and

b. unleash his (your) fury upon the planes of Oblivion. And the Isles. And maybe the rest of Cyrodiil, too, if he's feeling peckish.

 

He could have special weapons/spells, as well. I've taken the liberty of coming up with a few.

Sword: Truthiness
Mace: Brass Balls
Bow: Sweetness
Axe: A New Segment

Visit Starbucks: Restore Health, Magicka, Fatigue
We'll Be Right Back: Chameleon
Threatdown: Demoralize
Smile!: Fortify Personality
Who's Honoring Me Now?: Command Humanoid
Who's Not Honoring Me Now?: Command Creature
I am FURIOUS.: Fortify STR, CON, SPD, AGI, Health, Fatigue
Beef with You: Fortify INT, WIS, Magicka
The Desk: Shield
I Am America: Resist Magicka
Nail 'Em: Fortify Marksman

Greater powers:
Corporate Sponsorship: Gives you gold.
That's Our Show: Insta-kill.
Colbert Nation: Summons another Stephen, identical to the first.
Better Know a District: Effect of cheat TMM 1--gives you every map marker, with the ability to travel to each.

He's not overpowered. He's Stephen-Powered.

 

Obviously, this would be a total joke mod, but still unbelievably awesome. At minimum, we need to have the Colbert custom race, like the Chuck Norris race (except better). I would totally do the whole thing myself, except that I am a poor, unskilled, liberal socialist. I do suspect, however, that we'd need a meshes person for his bone structure and items, a textures person to get his face right (and for the items), and someone to start him off with his proper items (not the spells, I can probably handle those).

Do we have any volunteers? :D

 

Also, any avatars that I may or may not have that may or may not feature Stephen in his glory may or may not be coincidental. :whistling:

 

If you use the CS, you could do it all by yourself.. Haha I would love to help but I can't mod I just help with troubleshooting advice or finding stuff for people but I would love it if this mod came out. But this wouldn't be terribly difficult especially if you settle for a resource as your weapons or use Vanilla OB weapons. But yea, I endorse this.

Oh, and "Better Know a District" would be wasted the first time you use that greater power so I'd scratch that..

Ha, Cheers

[nosisab]

haha, you got very special bears, very nasties ones too and they are quest bears to add insult to the injury :)

[crysthala]

If you use the CS, you could do it all by yourself.. Haha I would love to help but I can't mod I just help with troubleshooting advice or finding stuff for people but I would love it if this mod came out. But this wouldn't be terribly difficult especially if you settle for a resource as your weapons or use Vanilla OB weapons. But yea, I endorse this.

Oh, and "Better Know a District" would be wasted the first time you use that greater power so I'd scratch that..

Ha, Cheers

Of course the CS would be necessary, but the problem is that there ISN'T a resource to use. I would do this myself, except that the FaceGen engine Bethesda used for character creation won't let me make anything that remotely looks like Stephen. That's why I need the help of the community. If someone could make a Colbert race, that would probably be easier than any of us spending hours trying to figure out why, every time I get, say, the distance between his eyes right, it somehow means that every other part of his face is made to look like he has Down's syndrome.

[Nexus Set]

for your reference... I didn't make it, just found it on the interwebs.

 

http://i31.tinypic.com/28i5itd.jpg