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To be alone or not to be alone that is the question.


MoDqUeen

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I am sure most of you have wanted to be left alone at least once in your life, and again i am sure most of you have just wanted some company.

 

But what a confusing sensation it is when you feel both at the same time is it not? You have to choose either one or the other or it feels like you are about to be ripped in two. But sometimes it is an impossible decision.... what then? stay in your room and sulk the entire week? Or just sleep it off until someone has to get worried about you?

Or do you just put on a happy face and act to be well and content with your life, when on the inside you feel overwhelmed with nothingness.... eventually having no more imotion than a toy robot.

Not wanting to do anything, but wanting to do something all at the same time. I may sound crazy, but i like to climb to the top of a tall tree and just sit there for hours just thinking. It helps to clear my head.

 

Now for my question what would you do?

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Either I play games online wich helps me to get a sense of people being around me either as I own them or get owned.

Or I take my airsoft guns and go out side to shoot.

both help me to get back into the right mindset and try to get my thoughts going on the same good path with out any depressing thoughts cause if my mind drifts to something depressing then my mood drops to the ground almost instantly.

so somewhat violent things help me odd I know

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I only wish i could play online games..... but unfortunately living in south africa has its many disadvantages. Currently i only have a cap of one gig per month. So yea... those are a no go unfortunately.

 

However i do like to RP... it gets my mind off things. unfortunately there are not many good RPers out there...

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Consequently, as Nietzsche said, we are the god and the animal both. Who can understand us if not ourselves? You want both, really. It's just a matter of finding the right when and where. You want to choose your own terms, but guess what, so do they. You want to be left alone then hang a sign on your door. And do the same when you crave to be bothered as well.
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My suggestion: Read a book.

 

The human mind is geared to desire consistency yet require change for growth.

 

We have to have people around us or we will shrivel up and die. We also require a change of scenery so we need time alone to reflect and digest what is on our mind.

 

An extreme in any direction is not what any of us need but if you feel the need to be with people and feel the need to be alone at the same time, maybe it is the company you keep. Either be alone and contemplate your feelings (or immerse yourself in a task...such as reading) or meet some new people.

 

No matter what, you will need to figure out what is best for you. If you think about it long enough, it will come to you eventually.

 

LHammonds

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Read a book, go for a walk, meet someone to have dinner with and see a movie.

 

You think this is bad just wait until they invent the first virtual reality RPG. At that point NO ONE is going to have a life. Our entire society (not just our little microcosm here) will be interconnected through a game. And when a meteor comes to destroy the earth we'll all be fumbling madly for the 'exit game' button. But you know what, yes, you guessed it, there is no 'exit game' button for aborting the path of a giant meteor heading straight for the earth!

 

The point is love people and love life. Do not love the game.

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Solitude is not bad. Listen to your inner voice. Do what you want to do.

You have to like your self, before you can like others.

Fill out solitude with naturs voices. Experience all that is great.

When you have found it, tell about it to those you love.

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I actually do that everyday. I think about my cheesy and boring life on my bed. Eventually I come up with some weird things about life, I start loosing worth. I always look at the end, that I will just die. Yes, maybe happily in my bed, having lots of children, but then I'll be just a memory, until the one that had that memory die. And then I'll just be a human that lived on the planet, doing nothing for it. I then eat chocolate (a weird fact about me: In my medicine-locker I keep chocolate when I get sad so that I get cheered up). And then I'm happy or normal, at least in the mood for playing computer games.

 

And yes, I am actually in this cheesy situation that I want to be left alone, but still want others to be around me. My friend died two years ago, that's when I wanted to be alone. But I still love my family. As in matter of fact, I still live in my parent's home, I can't imagine leaving them. But I always pretend to be happy, and yes, like a toy robot, because I don't want to be a bother to my family. That's why I rarely talk to them, so that I won't disturb them. But I of course embrace my family when they come to me.

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