Life Lessons You Would Pass On

[ILikeFudge]

56.It's very easy to become a scholar in Cyrodiil,since there is about 100 books,and all are 8-15 pages long.

57.Never ''go out for a good time'' in Anvil.

58.Stealing a goblin totem staff and bragging around about it is a bad idea.

59.Glass is actually more durable than steel.

60.Benefits of Staff of Everscamp:

-No stress in life.

-With time and devotion,you would become the best martial artist in Tamriel.

-You will always have fishing/hunting baits.

-Ruining the Riverview party.

-Daedric Adoring Fans!

More to come...

[niccolo]

Heeheehee

 

61: Don't bother your heroes. They probably started out in prison.

62: Daedric Shrines are not toys.

63: Don't take daddy's spell scrolls to school on "read aloud" day. Especially not the fireball ones.

64: No "Practicing Alchemy" with the strange leaves you picked outside.

65: Mommy's dagger of fire is not for "cutting and toasting bread".

[phoenixcodi]

hi

[ILikeFudge]

66.Don't cast shock spells around Cloud Top.

67.Bosmer are not ''tree huggers''

68.If you punch a man in some backwater village of Cyrodiil,immediately the whole province knows.

69.The Emperor has a custom of freeing the incarcerated criminals and putting the fate of the Empire in their hands.

70.Being Glarthirs neighbour is not recommendable.

[dreamseller]

56. dont go near armand christophe with gold in your pocket.

57. dont tell anyone in the theives guild that heironymous lex is your father, theyll probably call the night mother on you.

[The_Vyper]

58. If you don't like fighting big, scary monsters, don't go near any big arches with a glowing red field of energy in them.

 

59. Falling in lava is not immediately fatal, although it will kill you pretty darn quick.

 

60. Rumors are created by a scary man named Lucien LaChance.

 

61. The Count of Skingrad enjoys the night life.

 

62. If someone sells you a house really cheap, it's probably haunted.

[Thedragonemperor]

63. No matter what guilds you are the master of, the battlemages of the Arcance University can call you a new initiate.

64. The province of Cyrodill creates guards through the use of a cloning machine and identical armor.

65. Vampires get weaker as they drink blood, not stronger.

66. Every bandit can get the best equipment, even when they seem absolutely dirt poor.

67.When you least expect it, a repair hammer can break, no matter how small the repair.

[ILikeFudge]

Ummm....The last lesson is number 82, not 67.

 

83.The Legion Forester's are not paid well,since they slaughter themselves over a venison.

84.The Inn of Ill Omen is called like that for a reason.

85.Walking around the city with an undead companion doesn't upset the guards at all,but stealing a piece of pottery does.

86.Flaming dogs raining from the sky foretell the end of the world as we know it.

87.Some people simply never die.They were axed,stabbed,thrown into lava,burned,shocked,freezed,poisoned,hit in the head with 50+ pound warhammers repeatedly,thrown off the Dive Rock,enjoyed the view of the Shivering Isles,and they still get up and continue fightning.

88.Being the head of an infamous assasins guild will earn you a huge amount of 200 gold,weekly.

89.The glorious Imperial city has approx. 200 inhabitants.

90.It's perfectly safe to take drugs in front of the guards.

91.While its possible to get a disease,it's impossible to transmit it.

92.Your hands are indestructible.

93.No matter how (in)famous you are,you will never be invited to Riverview party.

94.Gold is completely weightless,and huge amounts are easily carried around in your pockets.

95.The citizens of Cyrodiil are mildly schizophrenic (A:Got anything to say?B:Nothing I would like to talk about.A:Go on.)

96.The refugees of Kvatch have PTSD, ten years after the destruction of their city they panic that the Daedra are attacking.

97.Drinking large amounts of beverage will do nothing to you,rest for 1 hour and it's all gone!

98.Despite being one of the first weapons man has made,there are no spears in Cyrodiil.

99.It is possible to witness the marvelous process of evolution!Minoutaurs appear for some time,then they are permanently replaced by Minotaur Lords.Evolution in a nutshell!!

100.No matter how hard you try,you can never cross the border,and therefore you are unable to leave the eternal utopia called Cyrodiil.

 

Cheers :biggrin:

[davidmg]

56. No you cant go play with the Lady and her Bear

57, If you just have to go swimming, find a pool, those fish in the ocean dont play nice

58. make sure you leave our pet outside any shops, I am not going to pay for what he breaks

59. The guys in Red are not Santas helpers

60. No you cannot use the lightning bolt I tought you at Cloudtop

61. yes you can go play jacks in Sheogoraths palace, but only in the morning

62 NO son for the last time, you cannot go Vampire hunting with Daddy!!!

[GoldenDragon66]

63. If you're going to go outside the city walls, use the buddy system.

64. No matter what you think, those things that look like triceratops are NOT friendly and definitely will not appreciate you trying to ride them like a horse.

65. If you see a glowing portal thing while outside the city, come right back and tell me.

66. Do not under any circumstances try to approach or enter said portal/

67. Don't even think about trying to bring a rat home to keep.

68. Don't talk to strangers, especially the ones wearing the red robes

69. Merunes Dagon will be the least of your worries if you wake me up for no reason!

70. With those weapons hanging over there, use the old adage "look but don't touch"

71. No you can't come with me while I go dungeon diving!