Winter Heart - Poem

[Rheyne]

The day.

 

Sleeping.. in her arms,

Catch your breath. Stop.

 

Night air.

Frozen to the bone, chilled

Stand alone and find...

 

Winter.

Open all your fears, to face

Soft and latent regret.

 

First glance.

She is solid,

Eyes blue pools.

 

Sleeping.. in your arms

[Keanumoreira]

Very good. :thumbsup:

 

Do you have a taste for poetry?

[Ranokoa]

I agree, it is good. But I.M.O. it had further potential. EDIT: I think punctuation would have fitted this well to insinuate pause on some lines. Still, it's good.

 

Be well, sleep well, fight well, live long.

~Ranokoa

[Rheyne]

Very good. :thumbsup:

 

Do you have a taste for poetry?

 

Thank you very much!! I dabble sometimes but by no means consider myself a poet. I do like to read others' poetry though! :D

[Rheyne]

I agree, it is good. But I.M.O. it had further potential. EDIT: I think punctuation would have fitted this well to insinuate pause on some lines. Still, it's good.

 

Be well, sleep well, fight well, live long.

~Ranokoa

 

Thanks for your honest critique. Perhaps I'll take it into account and make some changes or add a bit! :)

[Ranokoa]

Thank you for taking my opinions to heart. I look forward to reading more of your works.

 

Be well, sleep well, fight well, live long.

~Ranokoa

[Keanumoreira]

Very good. :thumbsup:

 

Do you have a taste for poetry?

 

Thank you very much!! I dabble sometimes but by no means consider myself a poet. I do like to read others' poetry though! :D

 

Really? What do you think of this one?

 

Hell...

 

Hell is a realm of fire that from the sky it fell,

Within its very gut a true monster must dwell.

It is hollow, and weak, yet frightful, and gory,

It's black heartened walls dare not tell the story.

 

It is the harbinger of evil, temptation, and despair,

It's residents are tortured, and beatened without care.

The cries from within are wretched with sorrow,

To them there is no difference from today or tomorrow.

 

Its bloody cauldron will overflow with stench and black,

The overdue souls will collapse as they crack.

There is no escape from within the damn of its bell,

Beware of its jaws, the realm known as hell.

 

Keanumoreira - Hell 8/8/10

[Maharg67]

Rheyne, love your poem and you are indeed a poet.

 

A poet is simply a person who writes poems. You need not prove yourself to yourself or others to be a poet.

 

I will reread your poem more than once and enjoy doing so.

 

Interesting and well written poem, Keanumoreira.

 

Greetings, ranokoa!!! Pleased to meet you.

[Keanumoreira]

Rheyne, love your poem and you are indeed a poet.

 

A poet is simply a person who writes poems. You need not prove yourself to yourself or others to be a poet.

 

I will reread your poem more than once and enjoy doing so.

 

Interesting and well written poem, Keanumoreira.

 

Greetings, ranokoa!!! Pleased to meet you.

 

LOL, I'm being dark latley aren't I?

[Rheyne]

Very good. :thumbsup:

 

Do you have a taste for poetry?

 

Thank you very much!! I dabble sometimes but by no means consider myself a poet. I do like to read others' poetry though! :D

 

Really? What do you think of this one?

 

Hell...

 

Hell is a realm of fire that from the sky it fell,

Within its very gut a true monster must dwell.

It is hollow, and weak, yet frightful, and gory,

It's black heartened walls dare not tell the story.

 

It is the harbinger of evil, temptation, and despair,

It's residents are tortured, and beatened without care.

The cries from within are wretched with sorrow,

To them there is no difference from today or tomorrow.

 

Its bloody cauldron will overflow with stench and black,

The overdue souls will collapse as they crack.

There is no escape from within the damn of its bell,

Beware of its jaws, the realm known as hell.

 

Keanumoreira - Hell 8/8/10

 

Do you even KNOW how badly I want to narrate this over an epic intro?? SO BAD!!! Now someone create an epic game just so I can! ;)