Hilarious Christian Gaming site

[ub3rman123]

Just some gems that deserve to be made into bumper stickers...

 

"The graphics and gameplay are old school, like old Final Fantasy or Zelda games only without the occult or homosexual influences." -Forgiveness

 

"(Note: I have not played this game since it is rated "M" and isn't allowed on the Fellowship U campus, so I am basing this mini-review on Secular media reports.)" -Red Dead Redemption

 

"This fatalistic aspect of the game should come as no surprise since it was originally created in 1985 in the Soviet Union, where the Atheist government taught everyone that there is nothing but a bleak, pointless existence followed by death with no chance for Salvation. It is claimed that the word "tetris" comes from the game pieces all being made of four blocks. In reality, the game was named in mockery of the Trinity by adding a forth hypostasis, the Communist State, to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." -Tetris

 

"Maybe Bungie included "tea bagging" to further their anti-Covenant theme into the multiplayer campaigns." -Halo

 

"Thankfully, there is now an alternative for parents and pastors who want to allow their kids to get their shred on at parties and youth group meetings but don't want them having Slayer's "Reign in Blood" brainwashed into their minds. Christian game publisher Digital Praise are about to release Guitar Praise (PC & Mac), which will do for Guitar Hero what their Dance Praise did for the Secular Dance Dance Revolution. " -Guitar Hero

 

"So even though Spore's rated "E" and allowed on campus I won't be installing it on my computer to review (I don't want my computer marked by the beast!).'

[MalachiDelacot]

http://objectivemini...nds/gaming.html

 

I can't stop laughing.

 

 

 

Um...I'll pass on asking how you found it....

 

 

 

 

 

[Retribution]

Just some gems that deserve to be made into bumper stickers...

 

"The graphics and gameplay are old school, like old Final Fantasy or Zelda games only without the occult or homosexual influences." -Forgiveness

If you don't see the homosexual influences in Final Fantasy then you're blind.

[krimzin]

As his name implies, Snake is actually a symbolic agent of Satan, sent into the world to finish what he started in the Garden. Evidence of this symbolism can be seen by Snake's use of an Apple iPod throughout the game.

 

Yup, damn... You figured it out and banished me to hell! ARRRGGHHH!

lol, these fanatics are great.

[brokenergy]

Now I have seen everything.

[Povuholo]

Now I have seen everything.

There's always a tomorrow on the internet.

[kieranfoy]

Ah, yeah, probably real. Take it from me, I've seen to far Right Wing Christians nuttiness out there, this is nothing new.

 

I recall one dude wanted to hunt down all gay animals and feed them to the homeless...

 

Hey, at least they're dissing games instead of bugging me at 8:00 in the morning asking me about my immortal soul. F***ed if I know what I did with it, man; probably sold it for a pint back in Vegas.

[ub3rman123]

Well, I looked around on the web, and I could find absolutely no evidence that this is a joke. I mean, really, nobody could be that devout and nitpick a game like that out of faith.

 

Then again...

[Balagor]

Well, I find it quite OK. We all do what we like to do. Is´nt that called freedom?

[kieranfoy]

And we like to mock what really, really crazy people like to do. Isn't that freedom?