I need help.

[antonkr]

...my parents are yelling at each other. My dad got drunk something happend and my mom broke his computer. Right now I am in a very bad position. I have a visa for United States that allows me to live here BUT I and neither can my mom work, only my dad. They are seriously talking about divorcing. I just woke up from my sleep to hear them yelling. I... I can't stand it. I guess I have nothing else to do but to post it here.

[TheCalliton]

did your parents get married because of you? because if so, tell them that you need them, and that they stuck together this long

[SilverDNA]

Cool Calliton! :thumbsup: That's the ticket. Why must be always the victims of fighting in a marriage the children and the youth?  Antonkr, if they do that let them feel how miserable they should feel about that. (because children and youth are often used as resources for an attack against each other not thinking about the feelings of them ( very egoistic of them, but good to know if you are the youth and haven an open eye whats going on.) Don't be afraid if the make this family decision without you, then let them know what you think if the still try to overrule you, well mention this "If you use Lawyers the I can do the same." ( now think of them using a lawyer for each of them and what it will cost. A third one will make it clear for them that this is a "Triple Loose" situation. Alone paying the three lawyers will bankrupt the family and this they will not let happen.  If you play your cards right this bluff will not blow on you, but if they try to say that you are bluffing it is always good to have the address of a lawyer handy to show, Got it ?

:thumbsup:

[TheCalliton]

my folks got married cuz of me, my dad wanted my mom to abort, then he wanted her to give me away. freally hurts your confidence in yourself. but my dad has stepped up to be a dad, and he does it damn well. sit both your folks down and talk witht hem. ask them whats wrong. try to get them to realize that they once loved each other, and that that love can be rekindled

[Pyrosocial]

i'm sorry for you man i had to go through a very voilent one with my parents. i hope it works out all right.

[Illiad86]

aww dude...:( Drunk stuff....:( people say and do horrible things when they are drinking. Hope it all works out.

[antonkr]

Well it is now tomorrow and I guess everything is going better then I expected. They are not fighting anymore I hope. Either way my dad is really addicted to drinking. Yesterday night we were helping our family friends move in some furniture and my dad got so drunk he fell a sleep on their new couch. Of course it was okay with them but what happend later was that my dad wanted to go home so my mom went to pick him up and he wasn't there. She was crying. I don't know what happend next but when my dad got home he started yelling at her and my mom got pissed and threw my dad's laptop. Now they are still arguing but I think its not going to be anything really bad. Things got better then I expected.

[Balagor]

@antonkr, I feel deeply with you. Drinking problems are serious stuff, whether they are minor or major.

I speak from experience. My mom was like your dad. When I had your age, I had to act like an adult, to keep my mother from drinking. It is not nice to be "the adult" when your parents are supposed to be. Children are meant to have time for the school, play and hang out. I have even inherited my mom´s pathological urge for drinking. That´s why I don´t drink alcohol at all, and haven´t done so for 30 years.

I know it is hard, and it should not be so, but you most play "the adult" and together with your mom, convince your dad to get help to stop drinking. It is very important that he stops drinking. He is probably the best dad in the world, when he is sober. So make a plan, and keep him straight. I am sure he loves you all, but he has a problem with him self, that makes him drinking.

[grannywils]

If your father cannot or will not get help for his drinking problem right now, both you and your mom can look in the phone book for a group called Al-Anon. They help people who are involved with alcoholics. It is very important that you find other people who are dealing with these same issues, and who can support and guide you with this problem. It would also help if your dad would try going to Alcoholics Anonymous. But whether or not he does, you can still go to AlAnon. You can get help for yourself. You not only need to; but more importantly you deserve it. People there care about you and want to help.

 

My husband was a very good man, but alcohol killed him. I didn't let it kill me too even though I don't even drink. Al-Anon helped a lot with that. Go and see them.

 

 

[antonkr]

If your father cannot or will not get help for his drinking problem right now, both you and your mom can look in the phone book for a group called Al-Anon. They help people who are involved with alcoholics. It is very important that you find other people who are dealing with these same issues, and who can support and guide you with this problem. It would also help if your dad would try going to Alcoholics Anonymous. But whether or not he does, you can still go to AlAnon. You can get help for yourself. You not only need to; but more importantly you deserve it. People there care about you and want to help.

 

My husband was a very good man, but alcohol killed him. I didn't let it kill me too even though I don't even drink. Al-Anon helped a lot with that. Go and see them.

Biggest problem of my dad is that he doesn't realizes he has a problem. He thinks that he is fine. If he wanted to he could have quit long time ago like the way he quit smoking. Thank you everyone for the support. I hope things will get better.