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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Oblivion


DeadMansFist849

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Post things, or lists of things, you'd be banned from doing in Oblivion were you a character in the game. :)

 

 

-No longer allowed to knock on the door of Cadlew Chapel and ask if the necromancers want to talk about the Nine Divines.

-Conversely, no longer allowed to go into any of the cities' chapels and ask if the congregation have heard of Sanguine.

-No longer allowed near sheep farms.

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The one that bugged me the most, was the it's vecinity with the Morrowind border and the fact that I could not get there. Same with the other regions. Also, the fact that I could not wear all the clothes I've seen on other NPCs, or that it was imposible to have a decent conversation with the NPCs. Talking about rumors aint exactly my idea of a normal conversation.

 

Just to name a few, the list could go on and on.... :yes:

 

 

 

Cheers,

Pushkatu!

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-Not allowed to deal Skooma outside the Arcane University's gates. (Those kids'll find a way to get it anyway. Might as well get it from me...)

-Not allowed to rob Elves at knifepoint. Forced to open a shop to rob people the legal way.

-Not allowed to release Frenzied minotaurs into the Temple District during the Emperor's funeral procession.

-Not allowed to replace issues of Black Horse Courier with unedited editions of The Real Barenziah Volume 4. (But Hassiri was in on it with me! That bastard sold me out!)

-Not allowed to harvest a town's entire crop and then sell it back to them. (seriously, why were you allowed to do this with no repercussions?)

-Not allowed to sneak into the City Guard women's barracks with the aid of Nighteye, Chameleon, and Open spells. The men's barracks is fine though.

-Not allowed to hide Otumeel's belongings in a barrel, no matter how ironic it would be.

-Not allowed to wear Necromancer's Robes while trick-or-treating at Ontus Vanin's house.

-Also, not allowed to wear Mythic Dawn Robes while on visits to Weynon Priory.

-Not allowed to try using the Staff of Worms on the Emperor. (.....Wait. Seriously though, has anyone actually tried this?)

-Not allowed to bring My Little Pony toys to the shrine of Namira.

-Not allowed to distribute the Communist Manifesto at the shrine of Clavicus Vile.

-Not allowed to hum "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" around worshipers of Mephala.

-Not allowed to wash hands in Chapel altar after using restroom.

-Not allowed to Enchant underpants.

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-Not allowed to wear Necromancer's Robes while trick-or-treating at Ontus Vanin's house.

 

I totaly love this one, haha, good find, real good! :thumbsup:

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-Not allowed to shoot fireballs and bolts of lightning at Bruma from the top of Frostcrag Spire. Furthermore, when asked about it, I am also not allowed to attribute them to "the wrath of the Nine."

-Not allowed to speak and act like Sheogorath on a constant basis, even if after completing Shivering Isles.

-Not allowed to forcibly relocate a whole tribe of Dark Seducers because their village happens to sit on top of a giant deposit of Madness Ore.

-Not allowed to misuse the Staff of Sheogorath for my own amusement, especially not freezing guards, drawing graffity on their armor, and running away before the effect wears off.

-Not allowed to shout "ZA WARUDO!" whenever I use misuse the Staff of Sheogorath.

-Not allowed to stand in front of a guard and put the Grey Cowl of Nocturnal on and off until his head explodes.

-Not allowed to attack orcs on sight "because they are orcs."

-Not allowed to put mustard on any khajiit.

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-not allowed to kill npc's all day then dump all the unwanted dead people clothes on Thoronir's shop floor

-not allowed to put poison apples in every beggar food bag after making supper out of whatever they had in there before.

-not allowed to put "mother's head" on the counter of the copious coinpurse and laugh because Thoronir can't seem to remove it.

-not allowed to fill all the castle display cases with ham and morte flesh.

-not allowed to push the adoring fan off the utmost level of Frostcrag Spire.

-not allowed to sit in castle thrones in my underwear while the count or countess scowl at me.

-not allowed to use telekenesis to throw pumpkins at npc's

-not allowed to break into houses then legally kill the owner because they "hit me first".

-not allowed to break into Methredil's house and stare at Carwen while she sleeps.

-not allowed to smack people for telling me the last of the daedra have been driven out out Kvatch when that happened two years ago in Oblivion days.

Edited by majikmonkee
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Not allowed to wear a sigil stone on a phat gold chain around his neck ... or worse still around the neck of the statue made in his honor.

 

No displays of Sigil Stones at the dinner table. Yes, yes, we know, Sigil Stones won't fit into trophy cases and they won't stay on bookshelves. But seriously ... they're noisy, ugly, and probably cause cancer ... or judging from your behavior brain damage.

 

Nothing kills the conversation like a Sigil Stone buzzing and throbbing in the middle of the table. I mean there you are, "The other day I saw some mudcrabs ..."

"VWOM VWOM tinkle tinkle VWOM VWOM ..."

Total buzz kill, like everybody just falls silent and stares at each other, 'cuz who can talk about mud crabs with that thing sparking and fizzing right in your face?

 

There have been serial killers less inclined to keep trophies. Yes, for the love of Pete, we know that's a Sigil Stone you've crafted into a door knocker for stately Rosethorn Hall, and yes we know how you got it. We even know there are plenty more where that one came from. Really, this is getting way out of hand.

 

Somebody needs to have a serious talk with the "Hero of Kvatch" ... or is it "Hero of Cyradiil" now? Claudette's still not interested -- did you really think she would forgive the "Viagra Potion Incident" so quickly? Which leads us to:

 

Not allowed to mix Viagra potions out of Nirnroots. You did know that was both its true purpose and the explanation for its rarity? Sure it has more negative side effects than Skooma, but ... the results speak for themselves.

 

Not that the mighty "Hero of Cyradiil" needs it ever since he swiped a telescope from the Imperial Orrery and installed it in Frostcrag Spire aimed right at the statue of himself in Bruma ... well, it doesn't take Volume 4 of the Mythic Dawn Commentaries to unlock the secret motivations of this particular "Man of Mystery".

 

A serious talk. Soon.

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-Not allowed to kidnap Martin, Jauffre, Velwyn Benirus, the Jemaine twins, Erthor, and Maglir from their respective quests and use them as your own personal immortal army. (I saw this done in an LP. It was EPIC.)

Note to self...DO this! Mwaha...

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-Not allowed to give goblins beer "just to see what happens".

-Not allowed to try to pass goblin meat off as beef. It is obviously not beef, as there is no such thing as green beef.

-Not allowed to use Bosmers' heads as tables.

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