Hilarious appearences of Malcolm Holmes

[Rossum]

Okay, in my first playthrough of the game I had Wild Wasteland on and saw some stuff like Indys fridge and the like. Then, as I was heading toward Nipton and fought the raiders there and suddenly Malcom appears right behind me and starts talking about sarsaparilla bottlecaps. That was weird and I thought he was just some crazy guy who appears in Wild Wasteland... like the Nuka Cola lady but not as hot and he hunts you down to make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that you know about his sidequest.

 

Well I walked a bit farther, hearing some gunshots in the distance but not caring, then suddenly Tomas (or whatever his name is) comes up talking about some 'crazy b----" who started attacking him. Now, I tend to play female characters and my particular character had a charisma of 1, super intelligence and a tendency to kill people. So I didn't really like this weirdo showing up and bugging me so I shot and killed him... then found there was some star bottlecaps on him.

 

Then I take about ten steps forward and some wierdo shows up saying he's won "the lottery" and my misanthrope character decided to just kill him out of spite for adding another weird thing to the wasteland. It wasn't until later that I discovered that the Lottery was actually some kind of in-story event thing but at that point I didn't really care anyway.

 

 

Anyway... in later games I keep having Malcome Holmes show up and spook me from behind talking about his bottlecaps (at which point I discovered the horrible truth that he isn't exclusive to Wild Wasteland). He's like a spectre whos always hiding out of sight and magically appears when I least expect it.

 

I'm in Primm sneaking around to clear out all the murderous convicts and suddenly Malcolm shows up (I tell him to get out of my face and then pickpocket him as he leaves)

I'm outside Primm trying to make my way to the place where I can get the NCR to send reinforcements and Malcolm shows up (I shoot him repeatedly in the face with a shotgun and steal his trader outfit)

I'm inside the top secret HELIOS ONE command center next to the computer console after fighting past a bunch of killer robots and turrets and looking at the super secret console that controls where all the power goes and more importantly the controls for a super weapon and defense systems that could kill all the NCR outside the facility:

 

 

Me: Ah, finally. Now I can get this plant working so the NCR doesn't get curious about the secret superweapon it holds. With this one computer console rests the fate of the wasteland... a terrible secret that could unleash horror or a benevolent force to give power to the much needed people of this area. Now I just have to make sure nobody ever knows...

 

Malcolm (appears behind me): Hello there I was thinking about trading for supplies, aw who am I kidding I'm a terrible liar....

 

Me: AHHHH!! OMIGOD ITS YOU FROM MY DREAMS!

 

Malcolm: I saw you pick up a sarsparilla bottlecap a few days ago and I magically knew it was a genuine Sunset Sarsparilla Star Bottlecap. I've been following you for days watching your every move...

 

Me: What are you talking about? What? You saw me when I was sleeping? How come my freaking Pipboy and ED-E that detects stray birds and invisible nightkin didn't see you? Wait, did you see me when I first became a cannibal and ate the corpses of those Legionares to violate their bodies for taking those people as slaves?

 

Malcolm: Blah blah blah, bottlecaps dangerous old man Festus blah blah must be hundreds of years old blah blah sunset sarsaparilla treasure.

 

Me: Do you want my bottlecaps? Is that what it takes to be rid of you?

 

Malcolm: blah blah I don't collect them cause its so freaking dangerous yakidy smakidy watch out for some guy.

 

Me: ... it doesn't matter. The secrets of this facility must never be known by anyone who may abuse its power (pulls out my Laser RCW) for the safety of the innocent people of this wasteland I must kill you so that its secret may not fall into the hands of the wicked.

 

Malcolm: blah blah blah watch out for bottleca (*FOOSH* whole body is vaporized)

 

Me (standing over the ashes): At last the deed is done... I'll just take this trader outfit...

 

 

I go to the Atomic Wrangler bathroom to drink out of the sink and reclaim my health... then open a bathroom stall (AHH! OHGOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD *blam* Blam! Rata-tat-tat)

 

 

 

Seriously, Malcolm Holmes is freaky since he just pops up out of nowhere and starts talking about freaking sarsaparilla bottlecaps and he always appears in every game (or at least every game I've played far enough into).

 

Has anyone else had weird experiences with this guy or started getting paranoid in the early game because of him?

[gsmanners]

That guy lacks social graces, certainly. Just be careful you don't get too popular with the NCR, or this other guy will start stalking you too. Not to mention that really tough Legion assassin (who somehow magically knows where you are even if you are perfectly stealthed).

[luthienanarion]

I've never run into him a second time in the same play-through.

[Reicheru]

Here is one that I recorded recently: Malcolm Holmes stalking my Courier while she napped inside an Airstream. @_x

 

The Houdini disappearance act at the end was as humorous as it was creepy...

 

Edited November 21, 2010 by Reicheru

[FlankerDFR]

So I'm not the only player who doesn't appreciate :verymad: Malcolm spawning out of my....................ear lobe suddenly. I always tell him to get the heck away from me; haven't killed him yet (thought about it more than once). I've never seen him more than once (so far) in a game. My worst encounter with him was I'd been in the Nipton General Store (where I'd had a short sharp social exchange with the ill tempered Powder Ganger inside), as I left the GS and spawned outside there's a GIANT MALCOLM in my face as I materialise (wasn't really a giant but his face filled my comp screen). Good thing I wasn't holding my pistol (9mm compact) while playing......................startled me so bad I wouldn''t be typing on this comp! :laugh:

[Hjaaalmar]

I used to think his actions were odd. Then I killed and looted him and it all made sense. Given that he is lying about not collecting caps anymore, and carrying them around even though he knows there are "people" who attack strangers on the suspicion that they have some, he is obviously trying to get you to collect caps and get on your good side so he can swoop in at a later date and kill you for them.

 

The cap he says he saw you find is probably a lure placed by him to find new victims. A tracking device on it would explain how he found you.

Edited November 22, 2010 by Hjaaalmar

[zerrodefex]

The first playthrough I ran into him right when I exited the Vikki and Vance Casino after starting the "My Kind of Town" quest. It startled me but I didn't think it was anything weird.

 

The second playthrough I never saw him once the entire game and I was picking up star caps.

 

The third time? I was clearing out the Goodsprings Cave and Malcolm just runs in and starts talking to me right in the middle of me fighting a pack of coyotes. Dude, this is NOT a good time!

[secksegai]

I only have seen him once (if at all) in an each of my playthroughs. I usually am very tempted to kill him for his roving trader gear (and caps), but for "warning" me I feel bad if I don't let him live. If he happens to find me near some landmines or powder charges that I didn't set, I won't go out of my way to save him.

 

(edited because I magically quoted a completely unrelated topic)

Edited November 24, 2010 by secksegai

[Scorch621]

I must admit malcom is kinda infurating, I was just about to make the perfect shot with a scoped hunting rifle and he interupts as Im about to pull the trigger...

My character:3..2..1..annn-

Malcolm:You wanna do some trading!

My Character:Ahhh!!

[FlyingHigh10000000]

Malcom is annoying, but it's hilarious when he shows up at random moments.

 

Courier: Yay a bottlecap with a star! :D

Malcom: HI WANNA TRADE?!?!?!?!

Courier: AH GO AWAY.

 

 

I haven't killed him yet, because he's good for unloading useless junk for his small sum of caps he carries to trade. It is kind of creepy how he disappears a few minutes later, though.

 

As for the "high NCR rep" guy, THAT is even freakier.

 

Courier: Gee, I really love the NCR. They're my best friends forever. :)

Random NCR Trooper: OI, COURIER. WE LIKE YOU.

Courier: What, wait how did you find me it's midnight, ninjas just attacked me, and it's raining rads. This can't be a-

Random NCR Trooper: IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS.

Courier: Wait is that a magical radio I can use to call the hammer of god down upon my enemies?

Random NCR Trooper: Nope, it's just a two-way radio that lets us send a squad of troopers or a ranger to help you out. Pity it takes like five minutes to actually get someone over there, and by that time either you or the enemies are dead already. Oh, and it doesn't work in most areas where it's actually dangerous to go alone. Oh right, and our troopers that we send are actually lobotomites. All the ranger says is "Ranger at the ready!"