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Fanboy Lives Again!


Rhydderch Hael

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A long time ago, in a kingdom far, far away, my Cassie-the assassin gave the Adoring Fan an impromptu lesson in the magical art of Levitation. She forgot the Levitation was left out of TES IV, so Fanboy flattened himself on the mountainside instead.

 

A long while later, Cassie revisited Dive Rock to lay some artifacts down in memory of Agnar and Svenja (the original inhabitants of the camp) and decided to see if Fanboy's corpse still decorated the foot of the mountain. In dusk's light, she trudged down to the final resting spot and noticed something glowing under a tree at the base of the mountain. At first I thought it was the discarded torch (a dropped torch sometimes remains lit). But upon closer inspection, guess who I see standing under the branches? An Adoring Fan, alive and well. The same vapid smile, the same Jimmy Neutron haircut, the same annoying voice.

 

The last order Cassie gave to Fanboy before offing him was to have him stand in place. Resurrected Fanboy followed that order to a T. Now I know how that mourning Imperial at Brindle Home felt after the Molag Bal quest— "I killed you. You're dead! This can't be!"

 

No worries, really. I wrangled up the undead Fanboy and had him follow Cassie to a little place called Bruma: Cassie had an appointment she had to meet. When Fanboy asked it if he was going to watch the Grand Champion participate in a new match, Cassie replied, "Why, yes. In fact, it's going to be a battle royale. You'll like it— for a little bit, that's for sure..."

 

Strangely enough, the Adroing Fan survived the initial fight of the Battle of Bruma and managed to join Cassie inside the World Breaker realm. Last sight she had of Fanboy was atop a catwalk while a rain of fireballs was zipping by. When the World Breaker was itself broken, the next sight Cassie had of Fanboy was the instant they rematerialized back at Bruma— just as Fanboy's limp, lifeless body collapsed onto the snow.

 

That's the end of that, I should think. 'Should' being the operative world here, implying that nothing does go according to plan.

 

Later on, after the Main Quest was over, Cassie was roaming Blackwood, trying to fill in the last blank spots on the map. She came across a mine being guarded by a Bandit, whom she despatched with ease. Through the haze of her Sightless Eye she detected another figure running up to meet her, so Cassie casually chambered her sword and swung once to connect the blow. Down the interloper went with one strike— only then did she notice the yellow soft-serve ice cream hairstyle.

 

Fanboy. Again. This was his third death. Most people only have one. What gives? >:(

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Fanboy ressurects. No matter how many times you kill him, he will come back and haunt you.

 

You could:

 

A) tell him to get lost and you wont see him anymore

 

B) tell him to wait for you somewhere... wait for you a very very very long time.

 

C) Delete the respawning script on him from the Cs and BEGONE with radioactive fan.

 

Still, if your in a dark dungeon, his hair helps...

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